That’s What She Said: 3 Dialogue Tips

by HL Carpenter, @hl_carpenter

We think about how much writing styles change over the years every time we open one of the books on our reading shelf—a book that was published in 1908. Of the many differences between today’s style and the approach used back then, we find the evolution of dialogue especially interesting.

Here are three stylistic comparisons.

  1. “We’re not fans of fancy dialogue tags,” they said.

In today’s style, if “said” isn’t enough after dialogue, the sentence needs to be reworked. The reader should know what’s going on from the words, not because the writer has added a description of the way the words are supposed to sound.

In the book from 1908, dialogue tags are not only fancy, but at least one of them appears to be made up.

Examples include:

“Now, Orde,” said he, “here is where you come in.”

“Look here, Joe,” he objected.

“Not a bit,” negatived Newmark.

“But, Mother,” expostulated Carroll.

  1. Based on comments from editors, good dialogue avoids overuse of character names. “Not that we would know personally of course, Elizabeth,” they said. :)

Think about real life conversation. How often do you use the name of the person to whom you’re speaking? You probably don’t include given names in every sentence. Applying that habit to fictional conversations can make the narrative flow more smoothly.

The book from 1908 follows this practice as well. Typically, the author includes given names when the conversation includes multiple participants.

  1. We think avoiding words no one ever uses outside of crossword puzzles is a good idea…unless your hero is a naturally pompous speaker. “I really must request elucidation on that prohibition,” the hero said.

Here again, the idea is to model real-life conversation.

The dialogue in the book from 1908 comes across as stilted, though this is likely due to today’s less formal conversational habits. Here’s an example:

“In a moment,” replied Gerald. “Have patience. I have come in the last twenty-four hours to a decision. That this happens not to affect my own immediate fortunes does not seem to me to invalidate my philosophy.”

A final note: No matter how writing styles change, a solid, engaging story can overcome the drag of datedness. The book we used for this comparison is the tale of a turn-of-the-nineteenth century riverman, published in 1908 and written in the terminology and mores of the time. Not our usual choice of reading material.

And yet— We’ve read the book before, but we once again found ourselves drawn into the story while writing this post.

In the end, a book that talks to the reader is the best dialogue of all.

Mother-daughter author team HL CarpenterAbout HL Carpenter

Mother/daughter author duo HL Carpenter write family-friendly fiction from their studios in Carpenter Country, a magical place that, like their stories, is unreal but not untrue. When they’re not writing, they enjoy exploring the Land of What-If and practicing the fine art of Curiosity. Visit HLCarpenter.com to enjoy gift reads and excerpts and to find out what’s happening in Carpenter Country.

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About Walled In: 

When her father is accused of fraud, seventeen-year-old Vandy Spencer discovers her entire life has been built on a heart-shattering deception.

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Elizabeth Spann Craig

View posts by Elizabeth Spann Craig
Elizabeth writes the Memphis Barbeque series (as Riley Adams) and the Southern Quilting mysteries for Penguin and writes the Myrtle Clover series for Midnight Ink and independently. She also has a blog, which was named by Writer’s Digest as one of the 101 Best Websites for Writers. There she posts on the writing craft, finding inspiration in everyday life, and fitting writing into a busy schedule.

24 Comments

  1. Alex J. CavanaughSeptember 10, 2018

    I’m going to throw elucidation at someone today and see if they understand it!

    1. Elizabeth Spann CraigSeptember 10, 2018

      Good luck with that, Alex, ha!

      Thanks HL Carpenter for the post today!

      1. HL CarpenterSeptember 10, 2018

        Thank you for taking the time to host us!

    2. HL CarpenterSeptember 10, 2018

      Let us know how that goes, Alex. :)

  2. L. Diane WolfeSeptember 10, 2018

    I’ve read enough Lovecraft to know that the stilted dialog from back then really way how they spoke.

    1. Elizabeth Spann CraigSeptember 10, 2018

      I’m wondering if our stories will sound oddly stilted 100 or more years in the future, or if the more casual style age-proofs them?

      1. HL CarpenterSeptember 10, 2018

        We think language is a living entity, so change is inevitable.

        We love this quote from James D. Nicoll— “English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary.”

    2. HL CarpenterSeptember 10, 2018

      Interesting how language and language patterns evolve over time, isn’t it?

  3. Margot KinbergSeptember 10, 2018

    These are all great ideas, for which thanks. I always think that dialogue is best if it sounds like real people talking. And real people’s conversations don’t usually use ‘crossword puzzle’ words.

    1. Elizabeth Spann CraigSeptember 10, 2018

      It has the way of taking you out of the story, for sure!

      1. HL CarpenterSeptember 10, 2018

        Yes, exactly!

    2. HL CarpenterSeptember 10, 2018

      We agree, Margot! Although sometimes it’s fun to throw a crossword puzzle word into everyday conversation just to make sure people are listening. :)

  4. Elizabeth SeckmanSeptember 10, 2018

    I feel ever so elucidated!

    What a special writing team. Makes me smile.

    1. Elizabeth Spann CraigSeptember 10, 2018

      Made me smile, too. That would be fun, working with a parent that way!

    2. HL CarpenterSeptember 10, 2018

      Haha! Good one!

      Glad we could bring a smile and some elucidation to the party! :)

  5. HL CarpenterSeptember 10, 2018

    Thank you, Elizabeth, for sharing your blog space with us today!

  6. H. R. D'CostaSeptember 10, 2018

    Call me old-fashioned, but I kind of like Gerald’s stilted dialogue :)

    Perhaps because the style reminds me a little of Pride and Prejudice.

    Great tips, HL. I especially like your last line, which is almost like a bonus tip to the main 3, “In the end, a book that talks to the reader is the best dialogue of all.”

    1. Elizabeth Spann CraigSeptember 11, 2018

      It does sound reminiscent of Pride and Prejudice, ha! It takes me a while to get into that style as a reader, though.

    2. HL CarpenterSeptember 12, 2018

      Thanks, H.R.! That’s the hardest part, isn’t it?

  7. Sharon LedwithSeptember 11, 2018

    Wonderfully, insightful post, Helen and Lorri! It makes me wonder if people really did speak to each other like that back in the day. LOL! Cheers!

    1. Elizabeth Spann CraigSeptember 11, 2018

      If they did, I’m sort of glad I’m living now, ha!

    2. HL CarpenterSeptember 12, 2018

      Thanks for commenting, Sharon! Maybe we need a time machine to find out. Wink!

  8. HilarySeptember 11, 2018

    Hi Elizabeth, Lorri and Helen – we’ve certainly changed our style of talking to each other in the time I’ve been alive – ie essentially since the end of WW2 … things became more friendly – yet now we probably overdo it … at least it’s not often Sir, Madam etc … now it’s too many ‘loves’!! It can put us off reading though … but text speak – I don’t think I’ll ever really get used to that. Language is constantly changing … cheers to you all – Hilary

    1. HL CarpenterSeptember 12, 2018

      You are right about the changes, Hilary. Sometimes it feels as though a bit of respect has been lost too.

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