by Elizabeth S. Craig, @elizabethscraig
As I’ve mentioned here before, my daughter is obsessed with horses.
She’s taking weekly lessons and is attending horse camp at different weeks over the summer.
It’s a bit like hell’s kitchen here in the South this summer (and in other parts of the States, too.) Hotter than usual in North Carolina. We’d usually have temps in the low 90s for July, but they’ve been around 100F most days.
And my daughter is out in the heat wearing a helmet, boots, and long pants.
She was trotting around one of the riding rings in full riding attire in the sun on the day it reached 105 F. in the shade. I wasn’t convinced it was safe (despite what the camp thought), so I did the typical mommy hovering thing— leaning over the fence and handing her a damp washcloth and a water bottle whenever I could. And then hustling her off into air conditioning at the first available opportunity. This particular heat wave has been known to kill.
Another mom chatted with me as we stood in the shade in our shorts and sleeveless shirts. “How is your daughter handling the heat here this week?” she asked me.
I said, “She loves it. She said she’d stay here at the barn all day every week if she could.”
“She’ll stick with it then, for life. Kids like that always do,” the mom said.
And I just don’t get the horse fixation. I don’t get the flies or the shoveling of horse poop or the large animals who intimidate me a bit. I don’t get the combing, grooming, and washing of the horses or all the tack care. But I’m happy to make these things happen for my daughter, who loves them all.
The other mom’s words struck a chord in me. Yes, just like my daughter’s determination to ride, most writers stick with their writing obsession, too. Similar to my not understanding my daughter’s fascination with horses, most writers’ family and friends don’t get our love of writing. Except, instead of flies and poop and constant grooming, those close to us see isolation, rejection, poor reviews, and low pay.
Some qualities of writers who stick with it:
Stubbornness and/or determination
Love of writing
Thick skin or ability to ignore or easily absorb criticism
Flexibility
Insuppressible creativity…a habit of looking at the world through a writer’s lens
What qualities can you add?
Asking what if/why questions of everything.
And you know your daughter is a lot like you at least in the way she ‘sticks with’ the horses. Nice to see a kid focusing on healthy obsessions.
……dhole
Elizabeth – I give you and your daughter so much credit. She sounds like she’s absolutely passionate about horses and willing to put up with the “down side” of riding and taking care of them.
As to qualities that help writers? I’d say one is discipline. The best writers I think write every day, even when they don’t want to write. They also have the discipline to revise and edit even when it’s no fun. And the discipline to do it all again the next day.
I went through the horse phase, but aside from going to the stables once a week with my Girl Scout troop to earn the merit badge, my obsession was limited to collecting figurines. Don’t know whether I’d have had the dedication had my parents actually given in to my “I want a horse” pleas. (Living in the city, it wasn’t a viable option).
As for writing — I think sometimes I keep writing because it’s an escape from the ‘real life’ drudgery. I mean, who’d rather clean toilets than talk to imaginary people?
Terry
Terry’s Place
For me, it’s characters playing out their soap operas in my mind until I am forced to do something about it.
I get it-the horse thing. They are magnificent creatures. As you can imagine, here in MO, horses are a big thing. Although, I’ve only ridden a few times in my life, I have many friends who own stables and show.
T
My daughter loved horses, too. Just as a possible glimpse into the future, let me tell you that she’s now finishing up medical school at Stanford, with her own daughter, who — LOVES HORSES.
As to your question: I think many writers are intuitive/psychic, call it what you will, even just use the word SENSITIVE. We “know” stuff.
Qualities of Writers who Stick To It: I would only add – Focus.
Lateral thinking is a necessary skill, too, but the thing that allows a writer to stick to it is the ability to shut off the distractions and focus.
Oh, man–that’s great that your daughter loves horses so much! The flies and heat would bug me, too. I love horses, but not enough for that every day thing, I don’t think.
I think for writing maybe there is an element not JUST of determination, but persistence… even DELUSIONAL persistence… because EVERY book is a lot of work, and often (at least for me) there needed to be SEVERAL books before I’d quite mastered what I needed to be ‘ready for prime time’.
Love how you worded that–insuppressible creativity. I wrote about this today on my blog. What it takes to maintain stamina in this industry. I agree there are certain qualities that sure push some along while many others drop off.
~ Wendy
Donna–Curiosity…good point. We always ask the why questions!
Oh, you’re so right. It could be a totally different obsession–like the mall. That’s one I also wouldn’t understand, and I think it would be even more expensive than riding!
Jody–Now that’s cool! I hope that my daughter will have a daughter who loves it someday–they would share so much together. My husband *does* “get it” a lot more than I do, so he frequently is the one who hangs out with her at the barn.
I think you’re so right about the intuitive nature of writers. And what we pick up on is different from what other, non-writers, do.
Margot–She’d much rather muck out a stall than clean up her room. :)
Discipline! Yes, absolutely. And it takes a ton, doesn’t it?
Hart–I love the *idea* of loving horses. :) It’s the reality that gets to me! Plus–I’m too clumsy to be a rider.
Delusional–I think you’re right! There’s got to be that element to it.
Terry–I hear about wanting a horse all the time. :) I do not see myself as a horse owner! I told my daughter that she could have as many horses as she wants–as soon as she has her own place and a job. :) Since she’s 10, this seems like a LONG way off…
Collecting figurines? I wouldn’t have thought that of you, somehow!
Oh, I’ve got housework waiting on me, too! Always! Bleh.
Wendy–I’ll check it out…thanks! Yes, it’s a certain drive–powered by different things, I’m sure. A drive to finish, too.
Teresa–When the story demands to be written, it’s a wonderful thing! My characters bully me sometimes, I’ll admit. They definitely want new adventures.
I bet they are a big thing! Sounds like a gorgeous place.
The Daring Novelist–Focus! Yes. That’s the very hardest for me because I have a hard time sitting still. I do my writing in short bursts, followed by short bursts of activity…and repeat the process.
Elizabeth, this is a lesson for life! I find horses disturbing too, but it’s all about the attitude.
– Maurice Mitchell
The Geek Twins | Film Sketchr
@thegeektwins
Sometimes it’s just blessed ignorance!
Maurice–They *are* disturbing, aren’t they? Even the ponies give me pause. :) Attitude is everything, you’re right.
Alex–Ha! Aren’t you glad you didn’t know what you were getting into? :)
Some of us GET horses.
Part is that core energy that is both the Zen and wildness that the horse gives off.
My parents told me that my first sentence was, “I want a horse.”
I sometimes wonder if there’s a reincarnation thing going, as well. Cowboys, horses, open range. Not exactly part of my NC background either, but I’ve always had that sense and the images.
Anyway, back to writing.
Writers like order and a sense of pattern. The world is chaos with few patterns, and most writers want to make sense of it so they write. In fiction, the world always makes some sense.
That’s why most of us are so addicted to solitaire.
Horses fascinate me, but not enough to endure flies and poop.
I agree with everything you and the other commenters said. You all said it so well I have nothing to add.
Maybe your daughter will grow up to be the world’s greatest equestrian! I agree about those qualities–definitely necessary if you want to be a writer:)
Nutschell
http://www.thewritingnut.com
Constantly asking questions and an imagination that never sleeps!
It’s wonderful to hear about your daughter enjoying horses so much. Will we be seeing her on the U.S. equestrian team at the Olympics some day?! :)
Another quality that pushes writers to stick with it, in my opinion and experience, is a dissatisfaction with the world as it is. I think even lighter genre lit tends to challenge a worldview.
Marilynn–My friends, when I was growing up in SC, were ALL into horses and I was definitely the odd one out! Funnily enough, my daughter only got bitten by the bug a year ago when we did a trail ride while we were on vacation in Asheville. I was absolutely amazed!
Love your observations. Yes, patterns are very attractive to writers, I think. And these made-up worlds…we impose a bit of control on them. Could control also be a factor?
Oh, I had to give up computer solitaire years ago. It was SO addicting! I loved it.
Carol–I’m a wimp!
nutschell–I’d be very proud! But then, I am already. You know how moms are!
Laura–Oh, she’d LOVE that. :) And you’ve listed some great qualities.
Emily–I like that. :) And I very much like the idea that even lighter fiction can be revolutionary in its own way.
This is a little off topic, but I was that kid, when I was little too, and grew up to teach riding to kids just like that.
For the sake of the horses, if not for the sake of your daughter, please please encourage her to ride early in the mornings or late in the evenings when it’s cooler. I can respect that kind of devotion. I was just like that, when I was a young rider. But the horses don’t get to choose when we ride them, and the heat is very uncomfortable for them too.
I believe you are a writer when you have a nice and well-paid job but all you can think of is giving it up though you KNOW how difficult it will be to keep up your standard of living.
Elizabeth, I’m so impressed with your daughter’s determination. Hmmm, I wonder where she gets it ? :)
Anon–Yes! I thought the same thing. The poor horses. This particular outing was an informal horse show at the end of the camp to show parents what was learned…but they’d ridden earlier in the day on the other camp days. It seemed too, too hot to me for the horses.
Dorte–Are you thinking about it? Good for you! I think we can all afford to have a decent standard of living when we have a good sized library of books to sell. I’m working on it, but not there yet! I think you’re being very productive…seems like you’re really focused on your writing.
Julie–That’s something she and I both share! :)
It´s just not realistic yet, but let´s say I´m *dreaming* about it.