Writing—Getting Rid of the Fear

by Elizabeth S. Craig, @elizabethscraig

I was at an event recently and heard one of the PR people for the corporation coming out of his office, sort of flustered. “Hectic day,” he said.

I asked him what was wrong and he launched right into it (he knows I’m a writer): “I’m organizing another event,” he said. “A retirement dinner with speakers. And none of the three people who are talking about the honoree at the dinner wants to write their own speech! So I’m writing three different speeches in three different voices. And they all know this person better than me!”

I said, “That’s got to be frustrating, and a lot of extra work for you. I’m asked to write a lot of stuff for people, too. Resumes and cover letters, letters to principals, complaint letters, whatever. Maybe when people know you can write, they just want to hand it over.”

“You know what it is?” he asked. “You’re not afraid. You’re not afraid of writing and they are.”

It’s true. The times that I’ve been asked to write things for other people, I got the distinct impression that they were afraid if they did it, they’d screw up. If they wrote their own material, it would mean opening themselves up to being misunderstood or having their mistakes on display. They were worried their letter wouldn’t sound right and would present a poor impression of them.

But writers haven’t totally shaken the fear, either. Ours just takes different forms—it goes to the next level:

We might be afraid:

That we can’t finish a book.

That we can’t successfully represent on paper the story that’s in our heads.

That our book will be rejected by publishers or agents or readers. Or that we’ll be rejected by our family for writing the thing to begin with.

That we’ll fail at trying to write something new.

That our reviews will be bad.

That our book won’t sell.

But there are ways to move past these fears:

Write frequently. Practice always means improvement.

Just keep moving forward on the draft. Poor writing can be fixed.

Be forgiving of first drafts.

Write quickly, edit thoughtfully.

When finishing one project, start right in on the next. Don’t invest all your emotions into an “only-child” book.

How do you move past your insecurities and fears and keep writing? Do you do a lot of writing for your family and friends?

Elizabeth Spann Craig

View posts by Elizabeth Spann Craig
Elizabeth writes the Memphis Barbeque series (as Riley Adams) and the Southern Quilting mysteries for Penguin and writes the Myrtle Clover series for Midnight Ink and independently. She also has a blog, which was named by Writer’s Digest as one of the 101 Best Websites for Writers. There she posts on the writing craft, finding inspiration in everyday life, and fitting writing into a busy schedule.

22 Comments

  1. Margot KinbergMarch 28, 2012

    Elizabeth – You are so, so right about the fact that we get insecure about writing. Well, at least I do. I think it’s partly because we expose ourselves, so to speak, when we write. What do I do about it? A few things. I benefit immensely from the support I get from other writers. Soooo good to know one’s not alone. Also, when I’m writing. I just… write. That is, I just put my head down, try, anyway, to shut the world out and write. Focusing helps me a lot.

  2. Journaling WomanMarch 28, 2012

    Fear is a scary thing. (sorry) Fear drags me down roads I don’t need to travel.

    The biggest no-no is letting fear turn us into insecure twits.

    T

  3. Karen WalkerMarch 28, 2012

    Are you living inside my head? All these fears are there right now. I have to just tune them out and keep going. Great post, Elizabeth.
    Karen

  4. Wendy Paine MillerMarch 28, 2012

    I recently got hired on to write blog posts for a charity organization. No fear. I do have fears in this industry though and they usually are the deeper ones having to do with failing, etc. I push past them by writing and remembering why I’m in this, who I’m in this for, and reveling in the love of the craft.
    ~ Wendy

  5. Terry OdellMarch 28, 2012

    I’ve edited for family/friends, but nobody’s ever asked me to ghost write for them. Not sure how I’d handle it if someone asked. I don’t think I’d be “afraid” but it wouldn’t seem right to me.

    As for my own fears — I just keep plodding along. I’m not afraid of the delete key.

    Terry
    Terry’s Place
    Romance with a Twist–of Mystery

  6. Olene QuinnMarch 28, 2012

    So true, Elizabeth. I have fostered all of those fears in varying degrees over the years. Then, I choose to bury my head in the sand and keep writing. It is better that way.

  7. KendraMarch 28, 2012

    I have to echo the sentiments of a previous commenter by wondering if you can see inside my head.

    After three drafts of my first full novel (by full I mean I didn’t trash it after chapter five) I finally have a draft I pleased enough with to begin editing. I’m literally halfway through the edits and I’m petrified.

    Not only has the main plot grown, but it’s developed numerous subplots and the world has taken on a life of its own. It’s blissfully amazing and terrifying all at the same time.

    I push through it with blogs like yours; writers who aren’t afraid to share their fears. So when I find myself in a corner breathing into my favorite paper bag, I can remind myself that what I’m feeling is perfectly normal. Kind of, depending on your definition of normal. But we all talk to a hoard of imaginary people, so I figure it’s all relative anyway. :) Thanks so much for sharing!

  8. emaginetteMarch 28, 2012

    I wish more people were afraid of speaking without thinking. With writing, at least most of think a little before putting the words down.

    Right or wrong at least we are thoughtful about it. :-)

  9. Jemi FraserMarch 28, 2012

    Never thought about that before. A lot of people do ask me to write things for them – and hardly anyone knows I’m a writer at this point! :)

  10. Alex J. CavanaughMarch 28, 2012

    I’ve worried so much about my next book, perfecting the outline, that I finally decided I better start writing because if I added more detail to the outline, I WOULD be writing the book!
    Reading a speech that someone else wrote would be weird.

  11. Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley AdamsMarch 28, 2012

    Margot–You’re right–we show so much of our thoughts and attitudes through our writing…it can be tough to share. Of course, when we let that stuff trickle into our writing, it’s when it starts to really get good!

    Journaling Woman–When we give into it, it’s all over, isn’t it?

    Wendy–And they hired you to do the job because the blogging was too intimidating for them…which is, though, good for writers! Remembering the love of the craft is anohter good tip.

    Karen–This is what goes through most writers’ heads, I think. :) Tuning them out is the way to go! Thanks for coming by.

    Olene–Just keep going and move past the fear, right.

    MKendra–It’s so, so easy to just completely freeze up. I remember that feeling. Sometimes it works better for me if I make lists of all the things I want to edit and break it down into a schedule…it takes the worry out of it somehow and makes it something else to strike off the list.

    You know, I don’t let myself think much past that day’s work. Otherwise, I freak myself out with the scope of the book–the worldbuilding, the characterization, etc. I try to just think of it in correlation to that day’s goal.

    It’s all perfectly normal…for writers, anyway! I always think about Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood and the “Neighborhood of Make Believe.” I spend most of my day there…. :)

    Terry–It’s usually not something I mind doing for others, but the problem is that I’m usually not the best person for the job…*they* are! Because it’s their kid with the problem at school, their job that they need to include on a resume, etc. They just know the material so much better than I do and are much more passionate about whatever it is they want me to write (especially with complaint letters.)

    Not being afraid of the delete button is key! :)

    emaginette–True! We can’t be accused of unthoughtful responses.

    Alex–Sounds like you’ve got it all thought out! And, yes, can you imagine? I’d think all the speeches would sound alike, too…

  12. L. Diane WolfeMarch 28, 2012

    This will make you laugh, but anytime I compose a letter or something really official, I run it past my husband first. He’s so good with the technical, professional stuff. I don’t think anyone wants me writing something for them.

    Those people can’t even stand up and say something on their own? That is so sad.

  13. Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley AdamsMarch 28, 2012

    Diane–He seemed that way to me! But you’re a great writer…I bet people would love to have you write things.

    I thought it was sad, too…especially since it would be so easy for them to prepare for a speech like that. It was someone they either worked with, or were friends with, or a family member…the text should have just popped right into their heads.

  14. Carol KilgoreMarch 29, 2012

    Great advice. I think we all work through these and similar fears in one way or another.

    Yes, people ask me to write things for them, too.

  15. Hart JohnsonMarch 29, 2012

    I think you’ve got some great stuff. I think the other thing to keep in mind is how valuable feedback from another is. If I write something for somebody else, I always tell them, “This is how I would say it, but you should reword it so it’s coming from you.”

    At the same time, if I am writing a letter or something, it is good to have someone closer to the target give a check–one of my fellow Burrowers is a teacher, for instance, and i’ve had her edit letters when something at the school is going really badly–she knows where they might be sensitive and so react badly to the way I put it.

  16. Andrew BlackmanMarch 29, 2012

    Great article! Fear can be crippling sometimes. I used to write quite freely when I was younger, but since my first novel was published and I have a bigger audience, I feel more fear. I remember as a journalist being terrified every time an article came out, in case a reader pointed out an error I’d made. I don’t think writers are different in this respect from other human beings – we’re all terrified of exposure. In my first ever job, in a bank, my “mentor” said he was always afraid that one day people would realise he didn’t know what he was doing. He’d been there thirty years.

  17. Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley AdamsMarch 29, 2012

    Jemi–But they know you’re good at it. And that you aren’t afraid to tackle the job. :)

    Carol–Aren’t we lucky! :)

    Hart–A good point…it’s great to tell them to adjust the letter to fit them better or to make it sound more like them. And you also make a good point about school letters, too…knowing the best way to approach an issue or problem.

  18. MarkMarch 29, 2012

    Did you enter my mind and scrape this post from across the spongy texture of my brain?

    I feel violated that you know me so well :)

    Great advice, food for thought and strategising against the “fear”.

  19. Fear, the cork that bottles up creativity. Pop the cork; drink the bubbly effervescence of over writing, under writing and getting it right writing. I have yet to be successful based on that magical criteria determined by someone else, but by golly no one is going to keep me from writing! Well, I got that out of my system. Great post, Elizabeth. I write for other people all the time and find it makes me think differently, which exercises my brain.

  20. Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley AdamsMarch 30, 2012

    Andrew–I think we all have a period of time where we feel like fakes. *Especially* if we “make it” and get with a traditional publisher. I know that at least once a week I think, “Wow. I can’t believe they signed me for these series. Don’t they know I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing…and I’m making it up as I go along?!” It just makes me feel like the biggest charleton, but we all feel this way. I’m glad to hear that it’s even the same in banking!

    Mark–I did! Well, I did if we share a brain. :) I think so many writers have the same fears. A lot of performance anxiety from writers.

  21. GigiMarch 30, 2012

    I am totally chicken when it comes to writing. I entered a poetry contest and of course my poem was not selected to win. I felt very dismayed simply because the poem made me vulnerable as a person. I never let anyone into a certain part of my life and I felt great after getting that pain off my chest but I still lost. It hurt. I wanted to cry. I worked hard on getting the words to come out right. So naturally, I am afraid to submit anything to this particular magazine again. *Sigh* However, I am working on my “book” and have presently finished chapter one. LOL! Gotta keep on trying right?

  22. CSMarch 30, 2012

    One way I manage my fear so I can keep writing is to choose not to share my writing with certain family and friends. They don’t see me as a writer-they see me as a dreamer. Gradually, I am learning who will support me in my writing. And those who don’t support me in my writing are feeding my fears!

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