Most of the time when I’m out running errands, I’m in a happy little Neverland, thinking about other things.
Yesterday I was actually mulling over settings while I was out and about. I wanted to add some short but punchy descriptive scenes to my Memphis Barbeque book. I’m not a fan of reading setting descriptions and a common editorial comment on my WIPs is that I need to incorporate extra description of _______room or ______person or ______place. I got that exact editorial direction again and have been busily making additions.
So I’m thinking about my settings (since my deadline is tomorrow), and I walked into Target (a discount store, for my non-American friends. A slightly more upscale Walmart.)
It wasn’t my Target, though—the one I usually go to that’s nearest to my house. It was a Target that was near some other errands I was running.
A foreign Target. And—God forbid—it was backwards. Do you know what I’m talking about? The whole store was set up completely backwards from the one that I usually go to….from the location of the entrance all the way back to the pet food aisle.
The store’s setting was so unexpected, in-my-face, and distracting, that I forgot half the things I’d gone in there for.
Which is exactly what I don’t want to have happen in my WIP.
If the setting description is distracting, it detracts from the purpose of the scene. I want my setting to provide an accent, not function as a main character. I’m not writing a man against nature book, where the setting would play a tremendous role. There are many books where the setting works like a character. I like some of those books. And setting helps me to tell my story. But for my books, it still needs to stick to the background.
I think that’s what I find jarring about description, as a reader. I love it to provide atmosphere. I love it to contribute to the conflict (confined setting, limited number of murder suspects, etc.) I don’t love it when I’m reading happily along and the writer starts waxing poetic about the setting:
And now I’ll impress you all with my lovely, spellbinding descriptions. Aren’t I a clever and talented writer?
So I went back through yesterday and made sure my setting additions weren’t slapping anybody in the face. I made a couple of changes to make my additions more seamless.
- I included some descriptions via dialogue.
- I compared one character’s appearance to a well-known person (which is tricky. It’s better to use a historical figure than a pop culture figure who might date your book.)
- I mixed it up and used descriptive smells and sounds instead of only visual descriptions.
- I tried to make one major standout, focal point for a setting or character description, instead of a laundry list of details.
I’m hoping my story’s descriptions will enhance my book. The last thing I want is to be eligible for an episode of “When Settings Attack.”
Okay…it’s Thursday morning. I had the pleasure of interviewing the fabulous Berkley Prime Crime author Laura Childs for the Mystery Lovers’ Kitchen. She shares a delicious recipe for Chocolate Sour Cream Scones. Hope you can join us.
I would love to read your books, Elizabeth, because that is exactly how I feel about settings. If the place is somewhere really exotic that I want to learn more about, lengthy setting descriptions are good, but most of the time, I would rather be with the characters than be sucked into long descriptive passages.
I approach setting detail the way I approach historical detail. Add details on a need-to-know basis. In other words, how much detail do readers need, at a minimum, to form a framework for the scene? Give readers just enough information that they can use their imaginations to fill in the rest — but not inaccurately. So you’re guiding (vs. burying) readers with those details.
Suzanne Adair
http://www.suzanneadair.com
I know what you mean, I just finished a book written in a very conversational manner and the author would suddenly veer off and wax poetic about the sky, or a tree, and it would throw me off. On the other hand, Pat Conroy’s “Prince of Tides” comes to mind, his descriptions of South Carolina were positively riveting and intergral to the story.
I’m the exact same way, and it’s the major criticism my writing tends to get as well. “Reads like people talking in the dark,” was how a crit partner put it.
Bad description is just so boring, I don’t like to read it and I don’t want to write it. I hadn’t thought of it as a distraction, though, and it makes a lot of sense. Maybe I’ll go back and look at that too. Great post! Thank you.
I am learning so much from you, Elizabeth. About the way you think, the way you approach your story, etc. I’m with you on descriptions. I usually just skip right over them. And I have a very hard time writing them without sounding artificial.
Karen
For the most part, when I write and read settings I would rather see it through the eyes of the characters – through their actions and reactions.
I will use your tips.
Elizabeth – you put that so well! Settings should add to and accent the plot, not distract from it. There’s always a delicate balance between making sure the reader is situated in place and time (and gets a real feel for both) and being too lengthy so that it detracts from the rest of the story.
I think settings are best described in detail only if that detail is needed to add to the suspense, provide a clue, etc. If it’s not integral to the story, the setting should fade into the background.
I know that feeling all too well! Walmart does it to me. Supermarkets are structured so different from regular walmarts, which means that I get lost whenever I enter either kind.
I really enjoy descriptions, but I see what you mean. The ways you went around it and added them are really interesting! And so does your book!
I’m with you about settings. Less is more. I think I might set my next book in the arctic tundra, so I can just write, “It was frigid, snowy, and windy,” and be done with it so I can get on to the good stuff.
You’re right – a story needs just enough description to get a sense of ‘place’ without overwhelming.
And I know exactly what you mean by a backwards Target! That always throws me as well.
How much or how little to describe a setting is a tricky question, isn’t it? I’ve shown my settings through various characters’ eyes; one notices one thing, one notices another. It gives the reader a picture and also adds to their knowledge of the character.
Elspeth
P.S. I know what you mean about stores being “backwards”; most annoying!
Natasha–It would REALLY have to be somewhere cool for me to read a lot of description. I remember when Herman Melville rhapsodized about harpoons in “Moby Dick” until I had to evacuate the vessel. :)
Elizabeth–Conroy is a real storytelling master, I think. The Southern setting does contribute a lot to his plots, but it’s told in a conversational voice instead of a poetic one. Good point.
Heather–Oooh…your crit partner sounds like a pro-description person. There’s definitely a middle of the road approach to adding it.
Suzanne–Exactly. You want to engage the reader with the description. “Burying” them…good term. That’s the way I feel when description is just plopped into a scene.
Diane–Otherwise, it just jerks me out of the story.
Karen–You and me both! Not my favorite part of writing or reading.
Journaling Woman–*Very* nice tip. We’re almost piecing together the description that way as readers and I tend to pay more attention when it’s introduced that way. “Tony breathed in the apple pie aroma and gave a contented sigh”…that kind of thing. He’s near a kitchen, the house smells wonderful and homey, Tony is happy.
Margot–Very true. The deserted area where the sleuth is having her denouement scene with the suspect. I like those eerie!
I agree settings/descriptions should enhance, not distract from, the book. You can also use setting descriptions to indicate location with subtle hints without speeling it all out in lenghty (and as you say, “waxing poetic”) data dumps.
The Old Silly
Interesting picture at the top of the post. That particular setting would be difficult to describe in only words, I think.
Sometimes you have to spread the description out – do it in different ways, as you talked about or dribble it in as it fits.
Helen
Straight From Hel
Your approach sounds very sensible. I like a feeling of setting, but NOT long, epic paragraphs which make me feel that now I have been looking at that sunset long enough. That kind of thing strikes me as Victorian (and in Gothic horror it has sometimes been done really well).
On the other hand I love adjectives, and they seem to have gone out of fashion while I turned my back so some days I feel I should have been writing crime fiction in the fifties.
The feedback I’ve received is to edit out the descriptive stuff from the action scenes and leave the fluff for that romantic dinner at an Italian restaurant facing the moon lit ocean.
And I hate going into a new store like Target only to find the layout is flip-flopped. What psycho signed off on this idea?
Stephen Tremp
Kristen–So confusing! Or when the grocery stores put peanut butter on weird aisles. The Harris Teeter does that and it drives me batty.
Marvin–Subtlety is the best!
Helen–I thought so, too. I really admire art–says so much without ever using words. Wish I could actually DO art!
Alan–That would be *awesome*! Maybe my Southerners can take a road trip.
Elspeth–That would be fun to do. Especially with clues…one person notices one thing, another person another. Hmmm….
Stephen–I don’t write a lot of action, but I know as a reader that quick, choppy sentences works really well in an action scene.
I’m with you on the flip-flopped stores. Seems like if you’re going to design a big-box store, it should be like all your other big-box stores~!
Dorte–I’d have flunked miserably as a 1950s mystery writer~! :) You could always do a period piece, Dorte…I bet that would fly really well, publishing-wise. Lately there have been some really good ones (Daisy Dalyrmple, etc.)
I feel very much the same way. I have very few setting descriptions in my work. The ones I do include tend to be incidental, although there are a few places where I’ve been slightly more expansive. I’ll have to dash off now to see if those are too “in your face”. :)
Thank you thank you thank you. I am one who can get bogged down in description and I appreciate this post. Better end it and not get too wordy, as I go to rest my head on my loft-style bed that counterbalances the traditional tray ceiling in my master suite…blah blah blah
Michele
SoutherCityMysteries
Jemi–At least you won’t be like me and have to add your descriptions after your editors tell you to! :)
Michele–Too funny! Yes, sometimes I feel like I’ve stepped into an issue of Architectural Digest or Better Homes and Gardens instead of the mystery or lit fic book I’m reading.