I was at my primary care doctor’s office on Wednesday for a check-up and blood-work. (Fun-fun!) Anticipating the long wait I usually have at the doctor, I came armed with not just a notebook and pencil, but a book I was using for research, my laptop, and some ideas I had for plot development. Yes, I was multi-tasking…again.
Since I’d kept myself busy, I’m not exactly sure how much time passed while I waited in the exam room. I’m guessing it was a lot of time because the doctor hurried in with breathless apologies for her tardiness.
Once she saw that I was completely buried in papers and a computer and not concerned at all with the length of the wait (and happy to put off the blood work for a few extra minutes), she relaxed. “I just had the most fascinating case,” she explained.
Without telling me about the case, she said, “I’d never seen anything like it. So I went into my office for just a couple of minutes to research it. And the research was so interesting that I kept on doing it and lost track of time!”
Her eyes glowed as she talked, and she seemed really excited. “We just live for that kind of stuff, as doctors. If our days were full of sore throats and ear infections, we’d waste away! Our days would be crammed with tedious paperwork and rote prescription writing.” Then, of course, she proceeded on with my very boring checkup. :)
I was reading another writer’s blog recently and one of the commenters seemed really dispirited.
The whole overwhelming reality of the publishing industry, the difficulties of getting an agent, then getting a publisher, then marketing a book…and after all that, the possibility of having the book do poorly and getting dropped by the publisher—it had gotten this writer dispirited enough to take a break from writing.
The doctor’s thoughts had made me think about intrinsic rewards. I’d really just assumed that in the medical profession, the financial compensation made any drudgery worthwhile…but my doctor was clearly taking an intellectual reward from the job. I’m sure, in that industry, there’s also the reward that comes from helping people.
With writing, I think, the rewards are harder to grasp. That’s why family members and friends sometimes don’t understand why we put up with all the stress—stress from querying, revisions, poor reviews, and marketing.
There really isn’t much of a financial reward for writing. Speaking as a mid-lister, the money is just a drop in the bucket.
So what makes it worthwhile?
I think, for most of us, it’s a creative gratification. For some of us, it’s a challenge to see if we can do it. Most of us feel really driven to write—driven enough to put up with all the stress that comes along with it.
I love it when I get the perfect idea for taking the story in a new direction. I love it when a character comes alive and walks and talks on its own. I love that thrill when I’ve finished a first draft. I even love that anxious excitement on release day when I’m half-sick with worrying over the release and half-full of pride.
What makes it all worth it to you? And how often do you have to remind yourself why you’re doing this?
There are a lot of rewards, but I have a dirty little secret. The big reward for me is that I get to keep playing make believe like I did as a child.
Yes, there is indeed the intellectual challenge of it. There is the satisfaction of honing a craft to a high pitch.
And yes there are those rare moments when you get some feedback from a reader that shows you gave them a magic moment. (But isn’t that kind of like having a play mate?)
I think you’re right, it’s the challenge factor for me as well. As writers, we’ve chosen one of the more difficult professions and the fact that we keep going day in, day out, makes me proud of my personal accomplishment.
If someone says they liked something I wrote, that makes it worth it as well.
CD
I guess we all live for those days when something comes up that makes it all worthwhile for us. And that has to be intellectual gratification.
Elizabeth – Oh, you ask one of the central questions about writing! What makes it worth it? For me, it’s the pleasure I get in telling the stories that I have inside. I really do get fulfilled by doing that. It also makes it worth it when I can share the joy I find in reading with others. If I know that someone has read and enjoyed something I’ve written, it’s like the pleasure one gets if one gives the perfect gift. Cliched, I know, but that’s how it is for me. I have to tell myself that a lot, especially on THOSE DAYS, but it really is true for me.
It’s definitely the reward of creating something, of putting together a kazillion piece jigsaw puzzle when you don’t really have a clear image of the final picture (for me, the non-plotter, that is).
I’m hitting one of those disheartening spells, but giving up writing would be like giving up breathing. And I’ve only been writing for a relatively short time–it hasn’t been a life-long goal or dream. I fell into it and have no desire to get up and move elsewhere.
Terry
Terry’s Place
Romance with a Twist–of Mystery
I love this post, Elizabeth. If one person tells me that my writing touched them in some way, it makes it worth while. But I write very different things than cozies and suspense, and romance, etc. Not sure what it would be with fiction.
Karen
Great post. I write non-fiction, and as Karen said, if even just one person tells me something I wrote helped them, or their pets, it’s worth it. Even better, if they tell me something I wrote touched their heart, it’s worth it. And okay, if someone (or many someones) buy my book, that, too, is most definitely worth it ;-)
Yeah, I think it was the challenge factor for me, too. Even if it ends up being only one book, I did it! Of all the stories I’ve written, it was the one that mattered the most to me as well. I’d say that’s a worthy reward.
It’s part the challenge, part that I’m better at writing than anything else I’ve ever done, and part the feeling I get when I manage to place a short story or flash in a litmag or zine.
Also, the community is AWESOME. And I can write off my alcohol expenses as research. (I’m just trying to understand Hemingway and Fitzgerald better, Mr. IRS Man. Really!)
What makes it worth it is the challenge itself, to be published. It’s so hard. And I love a good challenge. Never give up, never say die.
Of course, I have to remind myself of this every day when the queries come back rejected, or the writing hits a slump or any of the other myriad things that make us pull our hair and say we suck.
The challenge almost has to part of the reason, right? Everyone knows the odds of actually being published. But there’s the gratifcation of walking into B&N or Borders or where ever, pointing to that little paper wonder and saying, “I wrote that!” Even with the tens of thousands of titles availble, you still know you are in rarefied company. (I can’t wait until the day I join this club!)
For me it is also the stories/characters who just won’t give me a moment’s peace until I put them to paper.
What makes it worth it is receiving emails or letters from those who say my books have made a difference. It’s the speaking engagements and those who’ve read my non-fiction book – the people who get so much out of those two things. I did it to inspire others. And some days it’s tough to remember that…
In actuality, higher pay is often linked with lower job satisfaction. The research on it suggests it MIGHT have to do with a backward attribution… if I’m getting paid so little and doing it anyway, I must love it.. or, if they have to pay me this much then this must be really lousy work. The people who work HARDEST get compensated at a ‘barely making it’ level… though of course a doctor probably defines ‘barely making it’ very differently from a convenience store worker (who in reality probably ISN’T making it, but you get the idea)
Personally, I think I was most satisfied with my PAY when I was a waitress, because then my pay was directly related to how hard I worked. Easy night, low pay. Hard night, good pay. There was a fairness to it you couldn’t mess with.
*cough*
*removes social scientist hat*
I write for the fame. Okay… maybe it isn’t fame EXACTLY, but I want to be OUT THERE. I want people to read my stuff–at least it must be part of it, because it was the fan fiction feedback that finally permanently hooked me. And I write because it gives me a domain in which I can continue to learn and grow and improve indefinitely. That is one of the things I find most satisfying.
I’m in it just for fun; science, skiing, drumming … and writing. That’s what makes it worth it >:)
Cold As Heaven
I can live with not being the doctor´s interesting case!
I write because it makes me feel satisfied. A good writing day gives me some kind of pleasure I don´t get in many other ways nowadays (there are quite a lot of things my health does not allow, but that doesn´t matter nearly as much any more).
Obviously I would love to earn a lot of money, but whenever a reader of one of my stories comes back and tells me he or she enjoyed a story, that makes it worth it. And today my betareader sent back another “Cosy Knave” chapter, full of smilies for every time she had laughed. It really made me chuckle and forget I still am not quite over my cold.
The process of writing, itself, is what makes it worth it to me. Getting just the right phrase, an inspiring metaphor, a new and wondrous character springing to life – solving a plot puzzle, cutting away the flab – ALL OF IT – that is what keeps me coming back for more. Maybe one day it’ll be getting published but right now – that is too thin a gruel to nourish me.
I love the challenge of painting myself into a corner. I’ll write different portions of a WIP, then have to come up with something intelligent to bridge the gaps. Right now I’m working on a jailbreak that is unique, not something that has been down dozens of times.
Stephen Tremp
Definitely the challenge of getting the story from my head onto paper and making it work. The mini-landmarks in the process – first draft finished, first round of rewrites, first non-form rejection, etc.
I love creating characters and watching their stories spin out. I enjoy the whole first draft process, and I love tightening that first draft too. Those are my favourite parts (let’s not talk about fixing plot holes though…)
Great post. For me, writing is something I just ‘have’ to do, even if nobody reads what I write.
Clarissa–I’m proud that we don’t give up. I have bad days and really rotten days, but I do keep plugging on. That’s something to be proud of, in itself.
Rayna–I agree. It sure isn’t the money.
The Daring Novelist–It *is* like make-believe! And we get to play with our imaginary friends and talk to ourself and no one thinks we’re crazy! Well, maybe they DO think we’re crazy, but at least we’re allowed to continue doing these things. :)
Alex–I think you have more than one book in you. :)
Simon–And it feels like a waste, doesn’t it, if you’ve got a *talent* and aren’t using it. Yes, I think that can have a lot to do with it.
I’d like to understand Hemingway and Fitzgerald better, too! The amazing thing is that Hemingway could be productive and still drink as much as he did. Fitzgerald, not so much. :) I guess we should strive to be Hemingwayian….
Piedmont Writer–I like the challenge, too. I guess, in some ways, the challenge part *should* be over for me, but it’s not. Now the challenge is–let’s see how well the book can sell, or let’s see if I can come up with *another* series.
Oh, I’ve had “I suck” days like crazy the whole last few weeks. I think we all go through those slumps. Mine usually result when I’m trying to revise one project while drafting another–I just feel hopelessly inept.
Margot–You’re like me–we *have* to share the stories. I don’t know where that feeling comes from because I wouldn’t call either of us the extroverted types! But I do want to get my books into people’s hands–they can like it or not, but I want them to read it. :)
Ike–That IS nice…going in the bookstore. It’s actually a very humbling feeling. And the characters who won’t leave us alone! You’re so right about that. They want to have their story told…and many times they want to be the star of the story. :)
Terry–So, in your case, you’d just need to remind yourself of how far you’ve COME. And you’ve done extremely well!
Karen–I think that would be a wonderful feeling–to know you’re helping people who are going through a similar experience.
Ingrid–I think, with your latest book, that people can identify with you and can feel like they’re not alone in facing the grief after the loss of a beloved pet. And *that* would be rewarding.
Diane–Your books are great because they can *inspire* people to make more of themselves. That would definitely be rewarding.
Hart–Backward attribution–that’s really interesting! I can see where a doctor might feel guilty if they’re not actually enjoying their work that they’re getting such great compensation for.
I’ve never thought about waitressing that way! Yes, I can see that–it’s directly proportional. Definitely not that way in writing. I think academic fiction (which to me, equals the most research and work) brings in less than anything.
There’s always something to learn, isn’t there? That process IS exciting. It’s like a never-ending education!
I’ll be interested to hear what it’s like when someone recognizes you after your book comes out! It’s very rare for me, but when it happens–I turn into a deer in the headlights! Frozen…
Cold As Heaven–Because if we’re not having fun, then what’s the point?
Jan–It IS fun, isn’t it? It’s almost like a puzzle…getting all the pieces into the right place!
Stephen–You’re good! I’ll sweat myself out of corners when I paint myself in, but I’m worried about it the whole time.
Dorte–Ha! Yes, I winced a little when I thought about the poor soul who was the doctor’s “interesting case!” I’m happy to be boring and just get my cholesterol and blood pressure and blood count checked from time to time. :)
Now *that’s* a good beta reader! I’m so glad you’re getting such good feedback. :)
Martin–But fortunately, we DO read what you write. :) And so you’re getting a double reward!
Wonderful correlation between the doctor’s work and your own as a writer. I love that you took your “writing” with you to your appointment.
Anyway, hope that my words will be somehow appreciated keeps me going– to give people another way of looking at something, to help them find beauty in the ugly, or to find possibilities in the impossible. To let others know they aren’t alone. To make connections.
I’ll never forget the time I read a poem titled “Coming Off Zoloft,” about my struggles with antidepressants. After the reading, a gray-haired woman came up to me. She grasped my hands and looked up (tears in her eyes, no less!)and told me her granddaughter had trouble with depression. She never understood why it was so hard to find the right medication, but after hearing my poem, she understood what it must feel like for her daughter. And she thanked me for that.
That was my reward.