Want to Write a Best Seller? It’s All In Your Genes by Dr. John Yeoman

by Dr. John Yeoman, @Yeomanis

“Brace yourself,” my doctor said. “This won’t come easy” he fiddled with his pen “for either of us.” He averted his eyes. I braced myself.

“You eat junk food,” he muttered. “You smoke and drink in industrial quantities. You take no exercise.”

I protested. “I go jogging with my tortoise!”

“Yet by every test known to medical science, you are in perfect health.” He glared at me. “People like you put doctors out of work.”

Some authors are like that. They consume junk fiction, take no exercise in their craft, and have the work ethic of a sloth. Yet they can scamp out a novel in three months. Then they trip over a literary agent at a cocktail party and – lo! – next day they get a contract from Random House. It happens. And it isn’t fair.

Worse, it fools every would-be author that they can do the same. After 100 rejection slips and a fling with clinical depression they discover the truth. Success in fiction writing is 50% practice and 50% persistence.

Talent is optional.

Or so I tell my students at the creative writing classes I teach at a UK university. They don’t believe me, especially when one of their number goes on to sign a three-book contract after one term’s work. It’s all in the genes, I say. Some authors are lucky, like that, but most have rotten genes.

It took Agatha Christie 20 attempts to get The Mysterious Affair at Styles into print. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was rejected 121 times. Joanne Harris broke into print with Chocolat only after 15 years in the wilderness. And The Lord of the Flies was published by the purest accident.

“So what are we doing here?” some students moan.

“Learning to write stories,” I tell them “in the event that you have rotten genes. It might take you just three years, with practice, to write a story that works. Then you can embark on a novel. The rest is persistence.”

Earn while you learn

Better still, I say, you can earn while you learn.

Write a story every week, enter it in a story contest, and you might soon be winning a cash sum from every three in five contests you enter. What’s more (I add, returning reluctantly to the syllabus), each story is a five finger exercise in craft technique. Focus on exploring a new skill in every story. One week it’s characterisation, the next could be body language. In time, you might even explore emblematic resonance!

“You’re only saying that because you run a story competition,” they protest, cheekily.

“True,” I sulk “yet it’s true.”

To punish them, I then assign them an exercise – to rewrite the top news story of the day in the styles of James Patterson, Proust and Annie Proulx, successively. (The latter is a punishment very cruel.) To do that, they have to read the authors first. Blatant imitation is another way to learn one’s craft, and quickly. I tell them. And it’s true.

Of course, I already know which of my students will get a solid B+ – the ones who practise most. But I shall have no option but to grant, as always, a sparkling A- to those who practise least, rarely turn up to classes and cheek me when they do. But who were born with lucky genes.

I hate such people. They put doctors out of work.

Yeo-HS-RightDr John Yeoman, PhD Creative Writing, judges the Writers’ Village story competition and is a tutor in creative writing at a UK university. His free course in winning story competitions for profit can be found at: http://www.writers-village.org/contest-success.php

Elizabeth Spann Craig

View posts by Elizabeth Spann Craig
Elizabeth writes the Memphis Barbeque series (as Riley Adams) and the Southern Quilting mysteries for Penguin and writes the Myrtle Clover series for Midnight Ink and independently. She also has a blog, which was named by Writer’s Digest as one of the 101 Best Websites for Writers. There she posts on the writing craft, finding inspiration in everyday life, and fitting writing into a busy schedule.

17 Comments

  1. Journaling WomanApril 16, 2012

    Hi, John, I think entering contests is a good way to keep it going until…. We have to keep at it learning and writing.

    Now I know why I love turtles so much, I can keep up with them.

    Thanks, Elizabeth for hosting.

    Teresa

  2. Margot KinbergApril 16, 2012

    Elizabeth – Thanks for hosting John.

    John – How right you are that perseverance is one of the vital qualities a writer needs. Thanks for the reminder and suggestions.

  3. Su HalfwerkApril 16, 2012

    John, this is a great post about a topic that I’ve discussed with a friend the other day. I think authors with rotten genes stand a chance if they keep at it. To compare this to another industry, hard work and persistence got some actors recognition after years and years of toiling small parts.
    By the way, your homework punishment is a classic :-D

    And Elizabeth, thanks for hosting John.

  4. Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley AdamsApril 16, 2012

    John, you’ve brought up a point that I think about a lot. I think success in publishing is mostly a combination of sheer tenacity/stubbornness and practice. And maybe a little luck. You’ve brought up a good point on entering contests for practice and income (and freelance writing is also a great way to accomplish both, too.) Thanks for your post.

  5. Stephen TrempApril 16, 2012

    Thanks for introducing us to Dr. John Yeoman. I’ve only entered one writing contest but should do more. Now I’m encouraged to do so.

  6. Alex J. CavanaughApril 16, 2012

    You’re a cruel teacher.
    And good to know I can outrun a turtle.

  7. Jemi FraserApril 16, 2012

    Very interesting! I do think luck and genes are a part of it all (they are in everything else, why not this too!) – but I’m still putting in my hard work and hoping that’ll be enough :)

  8. nancy curtemanApril 16, 2012

    John Yeoman presents an interesting perspective on writing. At least I know I have a fighting chance.

  9. Jen ChandlerApril 17, 2012

    Hi Elizabeth! I haven’t stopped by in a while, but Alex Cavanaugh gave a nod to your site today so I thought I’d stop by and say hi :D! I can’t wait to settle in and catch up (not to mention, Alex told us about the Writer’s Knowledge Database…what an awesome resource! Thank you!)

    Have a wonderful Tuesday,
    Jen

  10. Alex J. CavanaughApril 17, 2012

    Hey Elizabeth! Be sure to stop by today.

  11. CiaraApril 17, 2012

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m a new follower. This is some great advice. I love the part about being persistent is just as important as talent. Yay, for me. :)

  12. EllaApril 17, 2012

    Nice to meet you! You share a truth in all facets of life, even turtles.
    I did see one run, once ;D

    Great post! Thanks for introducing us to Dr. John Yeoman~

  13. Nick WilfordApril 17, 2012

    Hi John, and Elizabeth. I’m also here from Alex’s blog. This was a great post. I’m not sure I’d want to have an overnight lucky break, then not even know how to repeat the formula. We need those years spent learning.

  14. Tracy JoApril 17, 2012

    Hello! I am visiting from Alex’s place. This is so true and a good reminder. Nice to “meet” you, Elizabeth and looking forward to reading more. ‘
    }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}#

    My cat seriously just walked across my laptop. I was going to delete that but then thought you might find humor in it! :-)

  15. Susan Gourley/KelleyApril 17, 2012

    I have a few parts of the equation done. I’m eternally at practice.

  16. Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley AdamsApril 17, 2012

    Thanks so much for coming by, everyone! And especially to the first-time visitors…I really appreciate your stopping by. :) Thanks, Alex!

  17. Dr John YeomanApril 26, 2012

    Thanks to everyone who left such delightful comments on my post. I appreciate it!

Comments are closed.

Scroll to top