Today I’m part of a writers’ workshop, similar to this Waldenbooks event from last weekend (I’m at the far left. I’m with my Carolina Conspiracy promotional group…Jim and Joyce Lavene and Terry Hoover are both pictured). I’m in Mint Hill, NC today, at the library there from 10:00—12:00, talking about “Mysterious Characters”.
I spend a lot of time communicating with other writers—both online and in person.
I’ve been genuinely surprised twice in the last week when people have told me at events, “You’re the first writer I’ve ever met!”
To me, we’re everywhere. The writing community is such a huge part of my life that I find it hard to believe we seem elusive to many people.
But then I thought about it. Writers are fairly tribal. Yes, we’re out in the community a bit…at bookstores and libraries. We’re at schools and workshops and writing conferences. Places where writers and readers hang out.
We like to hang out with each other because writing is a solitary and challenging pastime and only other writers (or maybe, serious readers, know what it’s like.)
I don’t even like introducing myself as a writer when I’m with non-writers. I’ll label myself a mom or a stay-at-home mom. I’m uncomfortable meeting people for the first time, and I don’t want to focus attention on myself.
I came out of the writing closet a couple of weeks ago. I was doing a local signing and I thought, “Why the heck not?” I sent out a global email to everyone I regularly saw when volunteering at the school, or volunteering at scouts, or who hosted my children at playdates. I invited them to come to my Barnes and Noble signing.
The response was amazing, really. So many people that I’d been acquainted with for years had no idea that I was a writer. They were completely shocked.
Because I didn’t tell them.
I’m not ever going to be the hard-sell type person. But I’m getting better at acknowledging what I do in a natural way. How many people do know writers, but don’t know they know writers?
You seem so good at promotion, Elizabeth, I am really surprised that you came out of the closet only recently.
Speaking for myself, I know that I will come out only when my first draft is accepted for publication. Till then, I would just not want to answer the questions that come with the statement that I also write.
Writing is as clannish as anything else, I guess. Only natural too.
If writing isn’t lucrative for writers people may not take them seriously…maybe that’s why people don’t share that they write. I haven’t made much money through the years writing, but enjoy writing and tell people this every chance I get. I told someone I worked with yesterday that writing is my passion. She looked surprised and said, “I didn’t know you like to write.”
Rayna has a point. Writing is clannish. Writers feel more comfortable around each other. At least we understand each other… or the need to get those thoughts out of our heads. :)
Elizabeth –
You and Rayna are absolutely right that we writers like each other’s company. I know I feel that way, and I learn so much from my fellow writers and the real lovers of crime fiction who give me perespective. As far as coming out of the closet goes, I started telling people I’m a writer when Publish or Perish came out. I don’t like to call a lot of attention to myself, either (maybe we writers are just like that, too!), but I got talked into it by eager friends and relatives (e.g. “Come on Margot, tell ____ about your writing!”).
As a writer, I love the internet for the way it gives me the opportunity to be with lots of other writers : ) and serious readers who “get” us.
I applaud your bravery Elizabeth. I think all professions (creative and non) are somewhat cliquish. Everyone likes to ‘talk shop’ and who else knows the language?
Elspeth
I love hanging out with other writers. Many of them are just so…interesting (and I mean that in a good way!).
It took me a while to come out of the closet, too. Now, I shout it from every rooftop (just kidding). Usually, I’ll just mumble it under my breath.
I don’t totally feel comfortable telling people I am not close to that I am a writer. But mainly because I’m not published and I don’t really like answering the “not published” questions.
I’m glad you “came out.” Hopefully, now your friends will be looking for your next book (and buying it). You might get other speaking engagements from a referral by someone who now knows you’re a writer.
Helen
Straight From Hel
Rayna–Well-said…we’re clannish. You’re good to mention to others that writing is one of your pastimes.
Journaling Woman–There is a money side to it that comes up when people know you write. Isn’t that odd? I’d never ask an accountant what he makes. People sometimes ask me, though. I always just answer, “Not much!”
Margot–Good point! My friends have occasionally done the same thing–“And, Elizabeth is also a writer! Aren’t you, Elizabeth?” I could have cheerfully pounded them at the time because that type of pronouncement frequently spins off into a long conversation…about me.But I think I’ve actually sold a few books that way.
Marybeth–I can understand that. I guess you could mention it as a serious hobby…then you’d, of course, have people constantly asking you how your writing is going! But it can keep us on-track, I guess.
Helen–It really did feel like a coming-out. Thankfully I did it via email! :)
Elspeth–There’s definitely a talking-shop aspect to it. I hung out with five other writers today at my workshop and we talked about publishing and conferences for at least 20 minutes.
Alan–Consider a mongo email. Worked for me! :)
Congrats on coming out of that writer closet! It’s a big step. I haven’t done it yet. Shyness is a big factor. I still blush furiously when I talk to my hubby about my writing. Silly, but true :)
The only writers I know are those I’ve met online. Unless others too are hiding in small, confined spaces :)
I’m surprised, Elizabeth, that even after you have a book out that you were still somewhat in the closet! I guess if you’ve never really had the opportunity to share the news before this, then it would be hard to all of a sudden bring it up!
It amazes me you haven’t come out earlier. To me you seem so completely approachable and friendly. I think many people haven’t ‘met’ writers because of the reticence of writers to ‘come out’ and also a discounting of writers who aren’t published.
I tend to bring up my writing when I meet someone connected to the field, though I do talk about it from time to time on my ‘personal’ FB profile, so my friends who are interested follow ‘Hart’.
But I think people driven to write feel a common bond, so when we feel the connection, then we come out–making us know the prevalence with more accuracy than people who either don’t write, or aren’t out.
Hart–You’re absolutely right. If I feel like I’m around a creative, artsy type, I come out right with it. Funny, I hadn’t thought of that…
Jemi–I know a really tiny community that has a writing group …the writers sought each other out and range in age from 17 to 70. I bet there’s a lot of closet writers in your area, too!
This post really hit home with me. When my book was released I had friends who I’ve known for 40 years who were shocked because they had no idea I was a writer.
“I’m getting better at acknowledging what I do in a natural way.”
And that’s the way you DO it! You go, GF!
The Old Silly
Jody–I think that’s a big part of it. I didn’t say I wrote when I was introduced to the person, and it’s not the kind of thing that really comes up in conversation later (women don’t talk a lot about work, anyway.) The email worked well, though.
Jane–I can totally see how that could happen. Easily.
Marvin–Thanks, Marvin!