by Elizabeth S. Craig, @elizabethscraig
![Girl on a red carpet--Felice Casorati (1883-1963)[2]](http://lh6.ggpht.com/-GB__FJLFB-E/T-EFN64J07I/AAAAAAAAEu4/xek-trUN75Q/s1600-h/Girl%252520on%252520a%252520red%252520carpet--Felice%252520Casorati%252520%2525281883-1963%252529%25255B2%25255D%25255B2%25255D.jpg "Girl on a red carpet--Felice Casorati (1883-1963)[2]")
Hi everyone! Hope you all had a good past week and are enjoying the start of your summer.
I’ve had sort of a double-whammy (triple whammy?) recently. During the past week, school was out, I was traveling out of town with my family, and I’ve been working on a book that’s due to my editor in about a week and a half.
Summers are challenging for parent writers who are used to a schedule. Although it’s tempting to just chuck the writing for the summer, I’ve usually got a book due during the summer months…and I’ve found it’s just not a good idea for me to take a break from writing. It makes it that much harder to jump back into.
During the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen tweets and blog post comments from parents…wondering how to make their writing happen over the summer.
I think you have to try different approaches. I can tell you what’s worked for me—and different things have worked when my children were different ages. What I didn’t want was for them to see my writing as something that was keeping us from doing fun things together—but I still needed to get it done. I think it’s gone well and that they’ve respected me for carving out time for something that’s important to me. This is how I’ve worked it:
Toddlers:
I won’t say it’s not tough. But this was how I wrote a book with a toddler in the house (and, yes, it’s been a while.)
1. Quiet time (not naptime) for both of you. They “read” books or baby magazines (keep running by the library to get different board books and magazines like Baby Bug.) You write at the same time. Shoot for a page, if you can.
2. Naptime. This is not my favorite option because there is so much else to do during naptime. But sometimes I didn’t have another option.
3. TV (if you’re a TV family.) I’m not proud of this, but TV was honestly the most consistently successful method I had for writing each day. And the 20 minutes of daily TV hasn’t seemed to scar or developmentally-delay my now-10 year old. Every toddler has a favorite show—for mine it was old Teletubby tapes and Sesame Street. In those 20 minutes, I could write a page. It might not have been award-winning writing, but it was a page. And I could fix it after I finished the draft.
4. The timer. Now, you have to work up to this with toddlers and some days it will be a total disaster. Start with 2-3 minutes. Keep your door cracked. See how far you can work your way up. When I was done with my writing, I played a game with my kids.
5. Remember—some days will be better than others. Take advantage of the good days. Don’t let the bad ones bother you.
Older Kids:
This seems like it should be easier than dealing with toddlers, but I’ve found it can be tougher. That’s because older children can make you feel guilty.
1. Timer. I lived by it. And I explained when they could interrupt me.
2. Kid boredom can totally derail your day. Sometimes it’s better to have a friend over at your house. Choose the friend wisely.
3. Bunch errands together or try to schedule a day just to do errands. Or do errands when your partner comes home at night, if you have that luxury. Doing one or two errands every single day can really put a dent in your writing time.
4. Learn to write on location. If you have kids who need a little less supervision, you can write at the skating rink, the bowling alley, or the swimming pool. Again, sometimes this is easier if your child invites a friend.
5. Write early. Or write after everyone turns in.
6. Bring the kids onboard with your writing. Tell them what you’re working on. Sometimes it just looks like you’re on the computer and they don’t really understand what you’re doing.
7. Have the kids help you out. There’s an age when they really want to help you with housework (unfortunately, this blissful era has passed at my house.) You can have more time if you’re not spending as much time cleaning. For some reason, mine especially liked doing laundry. I had a stool in the laundry room so they could reach the washer and a reminder note taped on the wall that explained what went into warm loads and cold ones.
8. Unless you’re under deadline—don’t try to catch up. It’s incredibly frustrating to not only write your goal for that day, but to also try to write the missed goal for a previous day. Just pick up where you left off.
Okay, that’s what’s worked for me, for what it’s worth! Does anyone else have any tips for writing around children/grandchildren? Or, for non-parents, how to fit writing into a chaotic schedule, in general?
I’m also on the Chistled in Rock blog today, with a short interview along with two other authors. Hope you’ll pop over: http://bit.ly/MLwvIe .
Image: Girl on a Red Carpet—Felice Casorati (1883—1963)
I’m lucky enough to work in an office where I can write before work and on my lunch hour. It’s been one of my primary ways of getting a book drafted for a couple of years now.
Getting up early on a weekend is also a good time to get in some writing or editing. I let the dogs out to run around the back yard a bit, make myself some coffee, and work until my wife gets up.
Elizabeth – Such good advice! I have to agree very strongly with you about learning to write on location. With today’s technology it’s easier and easier to do that too. All I need is my netbook and I can write just about anywhere. And yes, the best time to write is when it’s quiet. I’ve found that taking advantage of times when everyone else is out or sleeping just simply works. For me it’s very early in the morning, but night owl friends tell me they love those times too.
I was so exhausted when my kids were little (stay at home mom) that I NEEDED a nap when they took their nap. However, my never need sleep son, wouldn’t nap after 2 SO we did this. He had stay in his bed for quiet time and read books while I took a nap. :) Thankfully, my daughter needed naps.
Also with my toddler son, I bought a toy typewriter. I would put my typewriter on the kitchen table while he sat in his little chair at the fireplace bench in the same room and typed. He got much more written than I did. :)
T
Paul–An office! I’m giving an envious sigh. I used to work in an office…circa 1996. I remember lots of coffee and dead time. :)
Weekends are great–as long as we don’t sleep in! I think you’re making a good point about writing early.
Yeah, the free coffee is a great perk ;-)
I’ve managed to get to the stage where I hate sleeping late. Sometimes I’ll let myself sleep until half eight or nine, but I always feel like I’ve wasted so much time.
I really appreciate your tips about playing a game with the kids after you’ve finished writing, and also about talking to them about what you’re doing on the computer. Too often I think my kids assume Mummy is just playing on the computer, and WAY too often we finish with tv time/Mummy’s writing time and I jump right into housework or supper prep – not playing with them. I need to do that more!
Rent them out to people who are thinking of having kids and want a test run? No? Maybe it’s a good thing I’m not a parent then.
LOVE these tips. I know they’ll come in handy for me this summer. Having a friend over usually works well until they come begging for snacks. This post reminds me I need to get my kids to help out more.
~ Wendy
Paul–I *can’t* sleep in. I’m just not programmed that way, apparently. But at least I get stuff done then.
Louise–To them, I think, it just looks like we’re doing Facebook or email or whatever. It really seems to help when they know I’m writing. Sometimes I even have them help me come up with character names, etc. If they’re invested in the book, it just makes life easier.
I always have some kind of a reward for the kids’ patience–when they were little I’d play toy cars or army men or have a tea party. Now that they’re older, I’ll have an ongoing board game set up (Monopoly, Life, Sorry, etc.) and play 45 minutes with them after I’m done…and the game can last for a week or more.
Margot–It’s so much better not to need a particular place and a particular time of day, isn’t it? It really makes for so many more opportunities to write.
Alex–Now that sounds like a plan! Ha!
Wendy–I set out all the snacks and bottled waters that I deem appropriate at the start of the playdate. :) I put them on trays in paper bowls and plates with plastic cutlery so they can throw it all away when they’re done.
When I’m hosting kids at other venues–like the skating rink–I bring a bunch of quarters and dollar bills for the snack bar and the vending machines.
Teresa–I’m with you! I had one napper and one who just sang to herself in her crib for however long “naptime” was.
I put a typewriter in my daughter’s room and she and a friend played with the thing for at least 45 minutes yesterday. :) Hard to believe it’s such a relic to them. Good idea! Or we could give kids time on the computer or a notebook/pencil and they could write alongside us, too.
Great tips. I’ve become pretty flexible about when and where I write, but my favorite time is at my desk early in the morning – which amazes me because I’m so not a morning person that I’m still half asleep. I don’t deal with kids but with dogs. They have no concept of a timer.
I didn’t start writing until my kids were older – but these tips would have helped! I had an old typewriter my kids played on too – that might work!
Elizabeth, these are great tips. Time is hard to come by with children.
This is great advice, and pretty timely for me. My seven year old foster son gets off school next week, thinking of ways to keep my word count up has been keeping me awake at night.
I really like the timer idea :)
Those are great ideas. I’ve had to employ a few of the suggestions myself. I find I write best a night so I wait until everyone has gone to bed.
Maurice–It can be. That’s just because kids are all about the id. :)
Carol–And the dogs can throw you a guilt trip, too! My corgi does it all the time. :)
Christine–Oh yeah…the timer is a must. I stick it outside my door and then they can actually *see* how much time is left. If they can’t remember when they can interrupt you, you can make an infographic sign for your door…heavy on pictures for early or pre-readers.
Clarissa–The cool thing about writing when no one is awake (morning/late night) is that you’re not sacrificing family time for writing time.
Those are doable ideas, Elizabeth. Last summer my husband and I had our two grand girls for 2 months. He would get up and make them breakfast while I slept til about 8. I would take over play with them, dress them then make lunch for them while hubs did his website or yard work. When I put the 2 yr old down for a nap, the 6 yr old would color or read while I wrote. Once the little one was up, my hubs took them to the park until dinner. I cooked, he cleaned up, I gave baths and put them to bed, then I wrote some more and he slept! It wasn’t easy, but it worked.
Jemi–Old typewriters are apparently fascinating. :) At least, so my daughter says.
Marcia–And 1 big thing I can tell from your comment is that you had a *plan.* You’d thought about it and you kept everything to a routine as much as you could. Although my schedule with my children gets blown sometimes, more often than not we’re able to stick with it–and I think kids really like routines.
Great ideas! We are a homeschooling family with this mama as a writer so the kids are ALWAYS around. You’re right that when they see me on the computer they don’t get that I’m not facebooking or playing (isn’t that what EVERYONE does on the computer?). You are also correct that a kid who is bored or feels like he’s being ignored is going to make it really hard for you to get anything done. Most of my writing hours are before the kids get up and after they go to bed, but I do steal a couple hours during the day as well. That “conveniently” happens to be the time when I tell the kids they have computer/Kindle/Wii/TV time. Works great because it gives us both a time frame. :) Great post!!
MamaTea–Sounds like you know how kids think, too! I’ve found that the more I’ve let mine in on what I’m doing, the more invested they are in my book/promo/whatever.
I have a one-year-old and a teenager. The teenager is good at occupying himself, but I can’t get on my computer around the one-year-old because he wants to push all the keys. I always think I’ll write at nap time, but as you said, there are so many things to be done then. I’ve also tried after he goes to bed, but by the time I get the family squared away, I’m beat. This post gives me some ideas for how to squeeze in some writing time. Thank you.
S.M.–I hope these will work for you. Maybe you can even pay (or bribe somehow) the teenager to play a game with the toddler for 25 minutes. I think I did that, too, and my son is only 5 years older than my daughter–but it made him feel grown-up to help me out.