I’m one of those people who usually likes to go with the flow. I think that’s because I’m in a writing fog half the day. But once I come down off my happy imaginary high, reality hits. And once I get my hackles up, watch out.
I’ve unfortunately been on a roll the past week of problems that needed to be addressed. The tipping point for each thing, the bit that spurred me into action? My children, each time.
It started with a group my son volunteers for. It was a school night, the day before a test. Pouring down rain, very chilly. He was with some other middle school boys, removing a barbeque pit that they’d help set up the week before for their yearly barbeque sale to raise funds for the group.
He had a nasty cold. Two hours into the mandatory volunteer work in the cold rain, I called his cell phone. “I’m on my way to get you.”
“Mom—they said I’m not allowed to go.”
“Well, I think you’ve done well to work for two hours. I’m going to pick you up and you can work on studying for your test tomorrow.”
“Mom—he says I’m not excused. We have another hour to go.”
A pause.
“Tell this gentleman your Mama wants to talk to him.”
A moment and a quick conversation later and suddenly it was absolutely fine that I could pick up my 12 year old so he could study for his math test.
Ohhh, I hate to act ugly. Why is it that the squeaky wheel gets the grease?
Confrontations or getting ready for a confrontation is stressful to me. I’m a very different person when I’m stressed out or angry.
My characters reach their tipping points, too. Everybody has something that’s going to set them off. In a mystery, that straw that broke the camel’s back could result in a murder.
As I’ve mentioned before, our characters are stressed out. Their lives are completely upside-down. I wrote about the way the confusion they might feel a few posts ago. Yes, they would feel very taken aback at the way their lives were running completely off track.
But what about stress? What kinds of things might a character do under stress?
- They could say something they shouldn’t have said. This could cause a ripple effect in many ways but could especially create a rift between characters during an argument.
- Stress could cause them to briefly act out of character. Have you got a well-controlled, polite character? Reacting to a stressful situation could make their temper flare up and open up some plot possibilities.
- A character might drink too much under stress. This could create a whole host of other problems and conflicts in our plots. They might start a bad habit, like smoking, again.
- They could react in a very wholesome way—increasing the amount of exercise they’re getting, watching what they eat, and trying to work in more sleep. (But really, what fun is that to write with? :) )
In my murder mysteries, stress causes my murderer to kill again. Naturally, the killer wants to remain unknown and will eliminate anyone who knows his identity.
Stress causes my suspects to point the finger at other suspects—who had been their friends prior to the murder investigation.
Character stress causes arguments and conflicts in my small town settings and old grievances bubble up to the surface again.
Got stress?
Oh you are so right! Stress really does cause us to act in ways we might normally! Thanks for relating that to our characters! I will definitely be thinking about this as I plot my next book!
Stress is the instigator to action (and to ulcers).
Some deal by fighting, fleeing, drinking or sleeping(me). Characters are people too :) they will also react.
PS – the world needs to know, one must never mess with the mother who is feeling stress over something her child is going through. I’m just saying that out loud to the world.
Elizabeth – There is nothing like stress to make us act in ways we never thought possible. I think that’s true of characters, too, and part of what can make a book especially “real” is to see how the stress of a murder affects each of the characters differently. Since we’re all different, I like to have my characters behave in different ways when they are stressed.
…and Journaling Woman is right: There is no beast more ruthless than a parent dealing with a child’s stress.
I agree, this is a great way to conceptualize how writers build conflict–and how you can justify perfectly nice characters (or at least complex ones) going temporarily ’round the bend.
On another note: I don’t think you were particularly obnoxious or much of a squeaky wheel in the scene with your son you describe.
Though I at times feel very stressed, I’m (hopefully…) not going to stress enough to actually kill someone. But I agree that for a character (or for that matter real life person) that has unstable tendencies, being very stressed can indeed trigger irrational and unexpected behaviour (like murder).
Also – I’m amazed that you had to convince the guy to let your son go. Not only because of the math test, but with the cold and the rain he really shouldn’t have objected at all (in my opinion). You’re a great mom, Elizabeth!
Stress is one of a fiction writer’s best friends. Bring it on! (For your characters, of course.)
I’m with Martha on this. The scene you describe with your son was appropriate, not “ugly.” And I’m going to cut and paste this post as part of the notes I’m gathering on things I need to know to write fiction. Thank you!
Karen
I know what your son was thinking when he heard you say, “Tell him your mama wants to talk to him.” It was, “He’s gonna get it now.”
Great points. Thanks.
Oh I know about this all too well! Stress always makes me lash out and flip over the littlest things. I often say I could rescue someone from the jaws of a shark without batting an eye but if I lose my keys, look out! All heck is about to break loose. I’ve never looked at the correlation between stress and how our characters react but you’re right! All the major turning points, the good and the bad, in my stories always result from some form of stress. Great post!
Jen
So true about the stress! I think my characters grew gradually more stressed with each successive book, and it made for even better plot twists.
This is really interesting how your stress can and does affect your characters!
Interesting point – I tend to surprise myself at some of my stressed related reactions so I guess it only makes sense that my characters would do the same.
Stress is a great leveler. Tempers flare, behaviour alters; dinner not being ready can suddenly become an earth-shattering dilemma.
Our poor characters! I often consider the dichotomy of saying how I love them all and yet I subject them to horrible conditions!
I’m getting stressed just thinking about it…
Elspeth
Uh, YES!!! How about the fact that you wrote this before 6am? Thought that may be par for the course with you.
This ties in with my thoughts today about writing what I’m feeling and thinking. Even in writing mystery where my characters kill people, I have to put a little of myself in the book. I don’t kill people – I want to be very clear on that. But stress is an interesting way to put yourself into a book. I met an author, Liz Zelvin, who writes about alcoholics. She spent her career as a psychologist treating them and now writes murder mysteries using that experience. You can bet alcoholism is used as a reaction to stress in her books! Here’s a link if you want to check them out: http://www.elizabethzelvin.com/.
My reaction to stress is to either go into hyper-active super-mom mode, or to shut down and sit on the floor in silence. How far do you go in wrapping your own experience into a character, and how much do you create it from whole cloth?
Thanks, as ever, for an on-point, thought-provoking post.
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
Oh, I am SO with you! Why oh WHY does only the squeaky wheel get its way? It is so wrong! All those kids with meek mamas failed their math tests!
I love your idea though, of intentionally using stress for a tipping point. In CONFLUENCE I use it, but it was on a more subconcious level. I think I can have fun though, thinking about it more coherently… Thanks!
I become far too outspoken under stress. It started with menopause, I think, where my body was inhabited by a strange, angry alien.
It’s a careful balance in writing, however, because the author has to make sure the reader understands why a character might be acting ‘out of character.’
Jody–Hope it helps! And good luck with the revisions that I know you’re up to your neck in.
Diane–Isn’t it funny how that works? I guess it helps when characters act irrationally or out of character when stressed.
Crystal–Although maybe stress COULD result in abderian behavior…in a hysterical sense. If y’all are wondering what ‘abderian’ is, check out Crystal’s website. :)
Journaling Woman–I’d forgotten about sleeping as a good avoidance behavior. I could use a Rip Van Winkle character! And you’re right…don’t come between Mama Bear and her cub.
Margot–That would be a great way to introduce a psychological aspect to the story, actually. And what the stress spurs the suspects/sleuth to do.
Jane–I like to make my poor characters suffer as much as possible. :)
Hart–I think I’m going to push some characters over that cliff in my next book (figuratively speaking…or maybe not!)
Haven’t gotten the math test back yet, but it *should* have had a good grade. :)
Martha–That’s part of what I liked about it. We’d have to be sure and draw the connection for the reader that stress was what caused the personality aberration or else they might cry foul that we’d forced the character to behave OUT of character.
And, thanks! I just hate fussing at adults. Sometimes the dads in charge of this group are *clueless*.
Cruella–It’s funny how irrational we can act under stress. I don’t know if that’s the result of less sleep, or the fight or flight instinct kicking in, or what.
And thanks! I’m always really unhappy when another adult crosses me when I have a plan for my kids. Power hungry grownups are definitely out there in charge of classrooms, schools, scout groups, etc. I’ve no idea what he was thinking!
Alan–I can tell you’re planning all kinds of stressful situations for your poor characters. Oh, the suffering!
Karen–Y’all are nice. I guess I’m just used to a certain amount of deferment to parental rights and am really surprised when it doesn’t happen. It does really stress me out having to set people straight. I guess this struggle will end up happening between my son and me eventually, too– over who is in control of a situation.
Again, one of these posts I enjoy so much because it makes me think about the writing process.
What I realized when I read this one is that in real life I am extremely controlled during stress. My mind races along, but I stay very calm on the outside.
I am sure this is one of the reasons why I love writing crime fiction. I can let my characters scream, kick, throw vases about, and even KILL people when they have had enough. And it is SO fun!
Oooh yeah, The Old Silly reaches his tipping point regularly – lol. Nicely related to characters, Elizabeth, this post.
Marvin D Wilson
You brought back memories for me. When my second son wanted to play football I was freaking out but my husband said to let him do it. They had something called hell week. All those boys busting their hump out in temps over 100 degrees in August, and they worked those boys without proper hydration, (I heard that they take breaks and give the gatorade and water nowadays, for legal reasons), and and my son would come home in a heap. Now he’s a grown man with two kids of his own and he says he would never let his son play football. (He’s been to medical school–no wonder!)
Stress and conflict are the cornerstone of a good story. Part of why we read and watch stories is not only to be entertained, but to work out our own anxieties through the experiences of others.
My newest MC is under a lot of stress. I will definitely remember this post the next time I sit down to write. Thank you!
Btw, drinking too much Coca-Cola is a healthy way to handle it, right? :0)
My MC starts out stressed and stays that way most of the book. It’s her default. But she thrives on it. It’s when the baddies have been stopped and she doesn’t know what to do that she starts making her coffees ‘Irish’.
I’m very pleased to report that, after revision, two of my characters have adopted some of the behaviors you suggested. I did this *before* reading your post, so, it was like validation to see some of those same behaviors suggested here. Thanks. You’ve made me feel a bit better about where this WIP is headed! Woo hoo.
Best Regards, Galen
Imagineering Fiction Blog
Great post on putting your characters under stress and seeing how they react. They may not do what you expected!
Helen
Straight From Hel
Carol–I think my son *must* have been smirking. I couldn’t SEE him, but I’m pretty sure a smirk was on his face when he handed the phone to the adult. He KNEW he fellow was going to get an earful.
Jen–Isn’t it amazing what bothers us? The mundane stuff can stress us out more than anything–how to work the DVD player, where the keys have gone, the can opener that’s not working anymore.
Elspeth–My supper isn’t ready right now and I’m feeling stressed! We *do* torture our characters, don’t we? But we love them. So that makes us…warped.
Michelle–I draw my characters a LOT from real people. And people I don’t like could become victims or murderers! :) Great stress-reliever. Oh, I think I “know” Liz Zelvin—from Poe’s Deadly Daughters blog?
Marvin–At least your blog is an outlet for your rantin’! :)
Terry–Too funny! I think I turn into a strange, angry alien sometimes and I have no excuses! You’re right about drawing the connection between the stress and the odd behavior…that would be really important.
Elizabeth–Oh, that would have made me MAD! It gets so hot, especially with those uniforms and equipment on. People think we moms exaggerate, but tragedies happen all the time. And you’re right…it’s nice to work through our own anxieties in the safety of our home, with a book.
Dorte–You are so right! It’s VERY satisfying to have characters act out the way that *we’d* like to!
Got stress? You betcha! Sometimes the stress is good because it lets me know that I need to change something and sometimes it is the stress of a little kid who simply isn’t having fun anymore and wants to know why. The characters in the books I write have to have stress – they can’t get what they want – they don’t know what they want AND I have to be oh so careful not to give it to them. Which is tough because I’m also a therapist so I always want them to wake-up. But not too soon.
Love stress … well, in books anyway :)
In my current ms, stress gets to my mc, and the normally calm, happy heroine pops and lets her family have it (verbally). It was such a fun scene to write. I lived through her vicariously – lots of fun :)
Galen–I’m so glad! Not that you need any help from me on that stuff.
Helen–They may go around killing people. :) Which is what they NEED to be doing or else my story is not going to work out.
Jan–Ohh…that would be hard. You’d probably want them to solve their stress and anger issues quickly, but the need for conflict doesn’t let that happen! Very tough.
Kristen–Absolutely! A VERY healthy way to handle stress. I have to say that because I start drinking more and more coffee (which is exactly what I SHOULDN’T do under stress.) But coffee is so *good*. And who cares about the fast heart rate and my hyperactivity?
Lorel–Interesting! So your character has adapted to stress SO well, that ordinary life is more stressful to her.
Jemi—Now THAT would be cathartic! :)