It was my my husband’s and my 16th wedding anniversary on August 7th. We decided to go out for a nice dinner to celebrate. We choose a fancy restaurant in South Park Charlotte called Zebra.
This meant I needed to look nice. Oh, I clean up well, but nine days out of ten I take no effort at all with my appearance. In fact, I’d packed my makeup for our trip to Highlands, NC (about a month ago now) and have not located it since then. I think I stuck it in a bag that was inside another bag and inside another bag….I’m wondering if I threw it away. So now, even if I’m reacquainted with my makeup, I’m not sure I’ll remember how to effectively apply it. I pulled on a brown dress, wore strappy sandals (I’m way-tall for heels), yanked a comb through the long brown hair and called myself good enough.
We walk into Zebra and I realize that I’m in the midst of the most glamorous and elegant women I’ve ever seen. AND—they were all at least 10-15 years older than my 38 years. I squinted at them through the dim lighting. Did they have work done? No, it didn’t look that way. But…oh. Make-up. Well applied. Fortunately, my husband seemed oblivious to the Glamazons in the restaurant, and delighted to be with his wife with the AWOL makeup.
I’m not a competitive person (good thing, since I don’t tend to win things) and I’m not a jealous person (a trait I find rather disgusting), but I’m a very Type-A person. I want to do a Good Job.
Since I’m writing the first book of a series for Berkley Prime Crime, I bought a bunch of epicurean mysteries published by Penguin. I wanted to make sure I’d done a Good Job. This was both helpful and disturbing. Helpful: I was able to gauge the approximate ratio of food to mystery. I was able to get a good feel for their line. Disturbing: I was reading a very polished finished product. My draft didn’t seem to measure up.
I’m not sure I can recommend purchasing books that are similar to your own and critiquing them. But, if you choose to do this, here is my big tip:
Treat it like English class: I brought out my red pen.I circled things, wrote notes in the margins, and completely deconstructed the books. This encouraged an objectivity that helped me remain calm.
Noticing the pretty ladies in the restaurant? Cost=$50 at the Clinique counter at Macy’s. Feeling inadequate while reading a well-edited version of what I was trying to accomplish? Cost =$10 lunch with a friend where I babbled the whole time about fabulously-talented writers. Keeping my objectivity while obtaining useful strategies to apply to my novel? Priceless.
Ha, Elizabeth, you always manage to relate everyday life to writing — makes me realize just how much writing is part of you.
Nice to be back in civilization and making rounds of blogs again. But next month I’m away again, with little Internet access! I’ll try to check back here when I can. Good to see you’re making progress on your projects.
Everytime I look at your profile picture, Elizabeth, I feel that temporary sense of inadequacy that a really good-looking female brings out in me. If I looked like you, only Audrey Hepburn would make me feel I did a not good enough job.
/digression
To get to the point, your tip about bringing out the red pencil is a great one. Am rushing out to apply that right away.
Elizabeth,
I like your idea of treating certain books like an assignment in English class (hey, wait a minute–I hated English class!), but…I’m picking up PRETTY IS AS PRETTY DIES from B&N today (I went in last week to buy it, and their system said they had 2 copies in the store, but no one could find them…hmm, I didn’t check the display window…). Somehow I don’t think I’ll need the red pen for your book.
(Galen – you’re not the only person who hates it when you forget your makeup :) )
Ah, Elizabeth. I’m 22 years older than you – yikes! And unfortunately, I struggle with jealous feelings – not that I begrudge someone else what they have – I just want it as well. Somewhere I heard that comparison is an act of vengeance against yourself. It’s true.
You are beautiful inside and out and I love that you forgot your makeup. I almost never wear the stuff. Guess it comes from the old hippie days.
Blessings,
karen
Another vote for not worrying about make up! My excuse is that I never got into the habit of wearing it as a teen (not allowed in my school) and ever since I seriously have to remind myself to apply it when the occasion warrants.
As for comparison shopping – I don’t do it that much. I might glance briefly at the merchandise, but I try not to let it influence me too much. I understand your motivation, however and I am certainly a member of the Do It Well Club.
Congrats on the anniversary, by the way. Well done.
Carnimire, you’re too nice! Makes me feel better about that profile picture. That was THE day from Hades, let me tell you. And the photographer fussed at me for bringing only one outfit (I was supposed to bring several and change a few times) and for being so uptight. They eventually had to bring a child-wrangler in to make funny noises at me to get me to smile. :)
Good luck with the red pencil.
Alexis–Is it next month you go on your writing sabbatical? I SAID I don’t get jealous, but your little writing commune visit might get me dangerously close to feeling that way. :)
You know, I just hate it when my makeup gets lost. Ug. Makes me want to get out a red pencil and apply it to my face. (Grin).
I, too, think the red pen is a great idea, and one I would never have thought about. You always have practical and useful advice. Problem solving must be a strength.
Best Regards, Galen
Imagineering Fiction Blog
This was a post I truly needed today. As a newbie mystery writer and a voracious reader, I often find myself comparing my writing to others in the genre. Then I snap out of it by remembering that these are fully edited, rewritten books.
But it’s nice to know accomplished authors like you have similar feelings. Thank you for sharing Elizabeth!
Galen–Me too! :) And thanks, but no–I usually don’t solve a problem until I’m right in the darkest depths of it.
It is best not compare ourselves to others…but I know it’s hard not too! And your book more than measures up! So have no fears :)
I’m with you on the make up. Unfortunately I’m in the 15-20 years older than you group and I’m never going to be mistaken for glamourous or anything else — my jeans are just too comfortable (they are, fortunately, still a size 8). LOL.
I loved your advice on deconstructing books. I’ve been doing just that, trying to get a variety of authors to see how each handle the cozy/mystery/intrigue/humour/detail mix. It’s actually really interesting to track the differences.
You’re coming up soon in my stack. Looking forward to reading your book!
Alan–Thanks! :) PRETTY will be vastly different from DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD, so no worries there! Good luck finding your makeup…
Marybeth–It’s really hard not to. But when I do it, it never turns out well. And, thanks re my book. :)
Cttiger–Sounds like you’re already doing great with the objectivity factor. I think if I can approach the process like you, then I’ll get a lot out of it, too. And…hey, if you’re in size 8 jeans, you have nothing to worry about.
Karen–I think that’s ABSOLUTELY true. An act of vengeance against yourself–well put. I think what you struggle with is envy, not jealousy. To me, they’re not synonyms. And, you’re beautiful, too! I’d like to be a hippie, I was just born too late…sigh.
Elspeth–Good point. Good to look at the merchandise, know what’s out there, and then do our own thing.
Maybe you won’t have the glam book. Maybe yours will be the down-to-earth, bare it all book? But I do know what you mean about analyzing other books in our genre. It’s good if we can look at them with “learning” eyes. But I also think we have to know the “style” differences versus “craft” differences. If we notice difference in style, that’s okay. It’s the craft deficiencies we need to pay attention to, right?
Oh, how I related to your dinner dilemma. Too funny! And what a gorgeous segue into a writing topic. Then, to discover you also advocate the heretical act of marking and writing in books … Wonderful! Thanks for an energizing and inspiring read.
I certainly know how to handle the beauty contest. I just grumble a bit about growing old, and my husband plus both my daughters tell me how good I look. So in a few years´ time I will just throw the mirror away and ask them :D
I am not quite as good at handling the fact that everybody else seems to be able to sell their books, while I am still struggling with the workmanship. Blogs like yours are a great help, however.
I’ve read so many incredibly brilliant books that I’ve learned not to compare my work to theirs. If I did, I probably give up writing. But I like your idea for keeping objectivity while obtaining useful strategies – I have my red pen handy now.
Love the red pen approach to reading other books. I tend to make notes in a.notebook . Your way is better.
Helen
http://straightfromhel.blogspot.com
Ah yes … loved the pricelessness. And kudos on 16 years of marriage!
Marvin D Wilson
Monika–The only problem is that it’s hard to read for pleasure anymore…I’m always reading critically.
Jane–Good luck with it.
Helen–I like to have the notes right on the page. I tend to lose notebooks.
Marvin–Thanks!
Jody–You’re so right. Mine is the anti-glam book! :) Wish I could write chick-lit, but I absolutely do not seem to have the tools for it. Craft problems are different, you’re right. If we read other books and realize theirs is substantively better, we need to address our book’s issues.
Ritergal–Oh, my dad is an English teacher, so I grew up with the idea of a red pen marking up books and newspapers. He had to quickly acquaint me with the difference between our personal property and the library’s, though. :)
Dorte–That’s what our family is for! As for the book selling, I think it’s a combination of talent, timing, and luck. Best of luck to you with your project.
Nothing worse than showing up at a place looking different than the crowd already in attendance. I’ve appeared at events dressed too casually, dressed too nicely, dressed too scantily (just kidding on that last one.) But seriously, it’s awkward. I’m one of the few guys I know who actually enjoys getting “dressed up.” I’m such a weirdo.
Anyway, great post. I’ve had questions about the “read what you’re writing” idea, too. It seems a little dangerous. I mean, yes you want to learn to write the genre, but aren’t you then in danger of sounding just like everyone else? Just a thought.
Congrats on the anniversary! Marybeth and I celebrated seven years not long ago.
Congrats on the years together! That’s awesome!
Jack–Definitely dangerous. I think it’s important to make sure you’re A. Not picking up any ideas subconsciously and B. Not conforming too much.
Congrats for your 7th! Hope you went out scantily clad. :)
Elizabeth
Thanks, Katie! :)
I learned we have a few kindred aspects today, which is fun! I am likewise a tall woman who dons make-up only for the three Ps (party, presentation or pre-meditated photos). I’m glad your husband is aware that you are lovely without!
I love your advice on reading books in your genre. I think that is a great approach. I think it is a good reason to ‘read up’ (read authors you ‘aspire to’ rather than those you feel you are more similar to). Then again, reading a cross section may be a great teacher as to what works and what doesn’t. Love the idea though, of marking them up to learn from them.
Hart–Love the 3-P’s! Sounds like a good plan to me.
Good luck with your red pen.