Friday morning at o’ dark-thirty, I’m going to the Malice Domestic conference in Washington, DC.
Cool things about this: I get to meet (in person) some of the great folks I’ve gotten to know online over the last year or so. And I’m looking forward to the panel I’ll be on Saturday afternoon–“Senior Sleuths versus Middle-Aged Meddlers and Crime-Cracking Kids: How Age Impacts the Story.”
Uncool things? Well, I’m packing and flying. I should write a book entitled The Paranoid Traveler—Tips for Neurotics.
I won’t check luggage because I’m convinced it’ll end up in Belarus.
“So,” my sister asked me, slowly, “you’re wearing an evening dress Saturday for the banquet. And …you’re putting it in your carry-on.”
I nodded.
“Okay. Maybe if you wrap it in tissue paper?” She stops, shaking her head. “I just don’t know how this is going to work out, Elizabeth. What about the rest of your clothes?”
“Well, I’m wearing Friday’s dress on the plane. And I guess I’ll wear that dress to the Berkley dinner that night. Maybe I’ll sleep in it too because I definitely won’t have room for pj’s. And then I’ll just pack a couple sundresses for Saturday and Sunday. If I roll them up they won’t look too bad. There’ll be an iron in the room. And the dress for the banquet I’ll just stick on top of the others. I was going to pack the blue dress, but it was too poofy. My red one looks wrinkled…but I think it’s supposed to. It always looks wrinkled. It’s perfect for carry-on.”
“And shoes?”
“Hmm?”
“What about your shoes?” she looked pointedly at my flip flops.
“Oh. Well, I’ll probably wear my flip flops there and then pack some dressy sandals for the banquet.”
She’s looking concerned now. I redirect.
“See, I have to have room for the potholders…”
“Potholders?!”
“The fifty potholders. They have “BBQ” on them and I’m going to tie a tag with my Memphis cover on them and give them away at my book signing after the panel.” I’d actually bought ALL of the potholders at the store. They were completely sold out. But they had “BBQ” on them…
So maybe I don’t have a handle on conference attire and packing.
But…
Things I Think I’ve Gotten Right:
I’ve got my business cards and bookmarks printed and ready to go.
I’ve reviewed the program and I have an idea when people will be where. I know the people I really want to meet.
I’ve programmed my agent’s number in my cell phone (she’ll be there) and I’ve programmed the numbers of author friends I’ll be seeing while I’m there.
I’m prepared to be more outgoing than usual. I’ve been more antisocial than usual lately so I could save up all my visiting for this weekend.
I’ve got a couple of short, snappy descriptions of my mysteries if I’m asked what my books are about.
I’ve got something to give out during my book signing. Potholders.
It’s also probably a good idea to carefully gather your clothes and promo material together during the days before the conference—do laundry, pack, study your checklist. Definitely don’t do anything like have your downstairs re-carpeted a couple of days before you leave. Because—ha! That would just be crazy…
Sigh.
I’m jealous!!!
And for future reference, one trick to traveling is to mail some less essential things to the hotel ahead of time, in your name with “hold for arrival” and the date of arrival on it.
Then, either the items were the freebies and consumables you won’t take back, or you can mail them back to yourself.
Oh, I wish I was going to be there! I would love to help you pass out BBQ potholders and watch you pull an evening dress out of a carry-on!
I’d also like to finally meet you…But maybe we’ll share a book table or a panel someday.
Best of luck to you–it sounds like a great conference!
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
Elizabeth – Have a wonderful time at the conference! I hope it all goes well. How fabulous for you! And I don’t blame you for putting your evening dress in the carryon; I’ve done that kind of thing because I refuse to check luggage: too much risk of losing it.
Everything will go great at the conference. You are a very organized lady and have everything under control. :)
However, I know you don’t like flying so take a deep breath and enjoy anyway. Think of it as research for one of your books. Think about how Myrtle would react to the person sitting next to you, what would she think of the plane, why would she be on a plane. Have fun.
Mason
Thoughts in Progress
Have fun! I am very jealous – not just because writer conferences must be way fun, but also because you get to go to D.C. It’s such a great city, and I would love to go back. Make sure to visit a Smithsonian if you have any spare time! :)
You are funny as well as a talented writer. Have fun.
I’m with you – pack the evening dress in your carry on or wear it under your “plane” dress :) Layers are always good.
So exciting Elizabeth! I love the potholder idea! Great idea :) Enjoy the conference – it should be great!
I check luggage, but I always pack a change of clothes and my toothbrush in my carry-on just in case my suitcase ends up in Belarus, haha. The potholders are a great idea, Elizabeth! Good luck with packing and getting ready.. oh, and with the re-carpeting!
You go girl! No, I really mean it. Just go and have a great time. Let your neuroticism go where it will as long as you can laugh about it later. Just think of all the great stories you can tell folks about handing out BBQ potholders in a wrinkled dress and flip-flops.
Live, Love, Laugh … that’s all I’m saying.
Have a great time!
You are going to have so much fun! Check a bag if you have to. If it doesn’t make it, wear what you brought in carry-on and have a good time. What’s most important will get there – you and a smile.
Helen
Straight From Hel
I have never yet attended a mystery conference. I hope you have a blast at Malice Domestic. I look forward to hearing all about the weekend in a future post. Have fun!
My friend lost her luggage coming to see me once. We had to make a stop on the way back to my place at WalMart!
This sounds exactly like me before I go to a conference, Elizabeth, except I always check my (big) bag. I travel light, but I combine my conf. trips with family visits which means toting gifts and sweatpants and walking shoes, etc.
I hope you have a great time at Malice and that you give us lots of conference reports on your blog.
Potholders.. that’s great. Made me laugh!
I check everything in stages before I leave, because its always the little things that will annoy you once you’ve left the house
Sounds to me like you have the important things down! I know how you feel, I’ve had my luggage lost once. However, I figure if my checked luggage gets lost, I get to go shopping! As for the parts you have down, I’m taking notes… :)
The Daring Novelist–OH! *Mailing* things to the hotel. Hmm. Wonder if I shipped it tomorrow, Priority mail or Fed-X if it would still get to DC in plenty of time? I could put the potholders in a shipping box and it probably wouldn’t be too heavy to ship! See, this is why I need a keeper…
Laura–Thanks! Yes, the re-carpeting…with the furniture all pulled into the kitchen and the hardwood-flooring areas. It’s going to be interesting this week.
JLStratton–Sometimes I wonder if I’m just *providing fodder* for OTHER people’s stories about the crazy writer in the wrinkled dress and flip flops handing out BBQ potholders. :) I’ll have to start capitalizing on my own oddities before someone else does! But you made me feel better–I’ll embrace the fun of it all!
Thanks, Alex!
Helen–Thanks! I’m looking forward to it. :)
Jill–I’ll definitely be posting on it. Thanks!
Diane–See? That’s the kind of story that scares me!
Michele–Believe me, I could use all the help I can get! :) Wish you could go too. Anytime you have an NC signing that’s close, let me know–I usually just do signings with friends.
Margot–Oh good! A kindred spirit. :)
Mason–I hope so! If I can just squash my various neuroses, then I should be in good shape. Myrtle would be PERFECT on a plane. No one would dare lose her bag. And maybe she’d buy all three seats on the plane so no one would sit next to her and read over her shoulder…
Cruella–I’ll be in your old stomping grounds! I haven’t been to DC since I was 16, so it’ll be nice. Except…well, I think I’m in a suburb of DC maybe. Actually, I don’t know exactly where I am–I fly into the airport and take a shuttle, so maybe I really won’t see anything.
India–Sure to make an impression at a book signing! An impression of what, I don’t know, though. :)
Journaling Woman–Oh, Teresa, that would be so funny! I could have ALL my dresses on while I’m on the plane and then I’ll have room for all the potholders that I can carry!
Ee Leen Lee–Now that’s a good tip. I need to spend some time thinking about those things, because you’re absolutely right. It’ll be something small and random and I won’t have it and it will drive me nuts.
Jemi–Thanks! I hope so. Potholders will be *different*, anyway. :)
Heather–Ha! Well, that’s true…not sure if I’d be able to get to a place to shop, though–I understand that this is the kind of conference where you’re sort of held hostage!
Too, too, too funny. Your packing is a mystery in itself. I love the potholder idea. Enjoy!
Elizabeth – Me again : ) Please stop by my blog. Something awaits you there : ).
Mary–It IS a mystery! And the process is making my murdering the luggage a distinct possibility. :)
Patricia–Wow, I don’t see how you do it! I think I’m just not going to have anything to lounge around in unless I really figure out a way to wear it under my dress on the plane. :)
Margot–Thanks so much! I’m popping over…
great suggestions–wish I was going and have a great trip.
Thanks so much, Conda!