I’ve been reading a lot lately about problems that happen when we try to be perfect or apply Type-A standards across the board in our life.
I’m definitely Type-A. Sometimes perfectionism goes along with that (other times I can be more careless.) I have several methods of making my day more stressful than it would ordinarily have been. Before I leave the house for any reason, I go through a very complex routine of questions: Do I need to start a load of laundry before I walk out the door? How about if I load the dishwasher really quick and run it? Oh! Can I run by the library on my way to my meeting? And, if I’m going by the library anyway, I should drop by the bank as well—it’s right there.
Then I run around like a chicken with my head cut off. I leave the house on time, run the errands on time, but if there’s any bad traffic, I’m toast. And then I’m a total stress-bucket because I have to be on time. I’m the most punctual person around. If I’m not on time, I’m somewhere very close by, jogging frantically in your direction.
It would be better instead if I just did the laundry load and the minor errands later on. I’m not raising my blood pressure that way and I’ll end up getting the stuff done later on, anyhow.
Another problem? I’ll think I don’t have time to dust the house. Why? Because I don’t have time to do it the Type-A way. Which involves taking everything off the table, dusting the individual pictures and knick-knacks, and then rubbing the wood down with lemon oil. I want to put off the chore until I have the time to do it right.
But I DO have time to do a quick dusting with the feather duster. And it looks fine. I just have to repress the Type-A urge and the house looks fine and dandy.
Writing a book—the Type-A or Perfectionist way:
I was an editing- as-I-went writer. I wanted every page perfect before going on to the next page.
Honestly? Perfectionism didn’t work for me at all. It took forever to get anywhere. Frequently I’d lose my momentum, my train of thought, or the creative spark.
I learned to tune out my inner editor.
Caveat—not every writer has that problem. But if you feel like your self-editing is holding you back, consider trying a different tack.
Submitting? I was a perfectionist there, too. I must have read 200 articles on querying before I actually did it. I had a tracking program and I was very careful about submitting one thing before submitting another.
It’s good to do research before you submit, definitely. But not so much that you’re immobilized. I had better success when applied what I’d learned as quickly as possible.
I thought originally that writing a book was about inspiration…that the book wouldn’t be good without that creative spark happening every day. I needed to wait for the perfect moment of inspiration to strike.
I learned that it’s more about sitting down and plugging away and going from point A to point B.
There are some things that should be as perfect as we can make them: our grammar and spelling before submitting is one that comes to mind. But trying to make it perfect as we go is another thing.
When perfectionism is especially bad:
It keeps you from working on your book because you’re finding so many faults with your draft.
You’re frustrated at the slow progress of writing your first draft…because you’re editing as you go.
You aren’t submitting because you feel like your manuscript isn’t perfect enough.
Reading other author’s books in your genre makes you feel insecure or immobilized with your own book.
I used to feel that perfectionism had to be a good thing—that it meant I was trying my hardest to do a Good Job. As I get older, I see more of the dark side of perfectionism and am working to be more flexible with myself and my work.
Are you a perfectionist? Do you feel it’s helping you or hurting you?
With most things I am not a perfectionist. When it comes to being creative, like with a painting, or writing. I’m much more picky and I can get frustrated when things start going wrong repeatedly. I know I have to take a step back and an hour or so away from stuff or I’ll do something rash and stupid, like delete the entire document or slather black paint all over the canvas. Great post! I had a typo in my first post so I deleted it…I’m trying to think that’s not a sign or something. :)
Elizabeth – I actually am a perfectionist in a lot of ways (you should *see* me scrutinize my blog posts and my WIP as I write). I’ve learned, too, that channeled perfectionism can be very helpful – at least as far as my writing goes. If I am not satisfied with less than my best, I write better. If I don’t let my “beta readers” read my manuscripts until they’re as good as I can make them, those “beta readers” can really offer me some genuinely useful ideas instead of basic things I would have thought of myself if I’d been less careless.
On the other hand, undisciplined perfectionism is a cruel master. It stresses me out too much. So I also work to forgive myself for my lapses, accept those days when I don’t get writing done, and let it go when the laundry gets wrinkled because it lay in the dryer for too long…
I am a confessed Type A and frankly I wear myself out. Perfectionism gets in my creative way. This I will work on in the New Year, because I want to “put more out there” in the writing world and I can’t if I start everything trying to be perfect.
I guess like Margot, I need to channel my perfectionism…and make it work for me.
I am a perfectionist, I can’t deny it. But I think it helps for the most part… and when it doesn’t, I just pull my hair out. :) Which is probably the reason why my word count isn’t higher. Thanks for the insightful post! Always need little reminders.
Am I a perfectionist? Guilty.
For me it’s double-edged. No doubt about it, my pursuit of perfection hampers the creative flow, but the words I do produce are as close to final draft as I can make them.
I hardly know where to begin. I have had to learn to work really hard and to do my best, but I had to do this as one human woman, which meant I would never be able to accomplish what had to be done perfectly, no matter what it was. Whew…what a relief.
Perfectino is overated.
I can SO relate. I’m a failed perfectionist. And I’m a much happier person for it. I’ve seen the dark side, too. Like you, I found it wasn’t at all pretty.
I am similar to Bethany, in “most things I am not a perfectionist.” But in writing I am. And it takes me a long time to turn a WIP into an MS.
But I think the nice thing is my kids aren’t crazy OCD. My husband is Type-A+++, and I am not (except I hate wrinkled paper, hateithateithateit), so we balance each other out. He teaches them to clean, and I teach them to be creative – messily so. And then he gets to teach them to clean again!
It’s good that you realize what works and what doesn’t, Elizabeth. It sounds like you are very good at self-examination. I am, too, but that doesn’t always mean I change what I’m doing wrong!
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
Hey, Elizabeth! I’m definitely a perfectionist. It’s a real problem, especially in editing. And then I beat myself up for the mistakes that I don’t catch. That’s soemthing I’m really learning how to deal with.
Yup, I’m a perfectionist! Your day sounds a lot like mine.
I can turn it off, though. (Especially when it comes to housework.)
I learned to turn it off when writing by hand writing everything first. When I type, I feel it must be perfect. As you said, that inhibits creativity and flow. But when I hand write, it’s okay if it’s sloppy. (Matches the handwriting then!)
Excellent advice, Elizabeth, but tricky to follow! What drives me crazed is the knowledge I could do something better, whether it’s keeping the house cleaner or baking more or writing. It does become frustrating!
Elspeth
This is such a wise post, Elizabeth. Even if we don’t label ourselves a perfectionist, we all have those tendencies in certain areas. It almost never works, except, as you said, making sure your grammar and spelling are as good as they can be. Great reminder.
karen
I’ve found I can enter a Type A zone, but most of the time I’m driving in the XYZ lanes. I’ve given up on perfect and I’m so thankful the perfect one hasn’t given up on me.
~ Wendy
I’m a semi-perfectionist trying to reform. I’ve been dipping my toes into that Write or Die program, trying to break myself of the self-editing habit. And you know what? The vomit drafts aren’t all that terrible after all.
The inner editor must go in the first draft. Hemingway’s first drafts were always, um, crap, so why can’t mine be?
I do want my work to be perfect, but I learned that I can’t edit as I go. Otherwise, I’d probably still be on Chapter 1 of my very first manuscript! I have those days where I still manage to stress myself out but they’re rare. I’m much more relaxed these days – I think it comes with age. I’ve discovered it all gets done – eventually.
I am a perfectionist and it really stinks to be Type A about something that should be flexible, like writing. I am learning how to loosen up and just have fun with it, though! NaNo was a great experience b/c I could not edit as I went along.
Look at all of you! I am as OPPOSITE from a perfectionist in many ways. I am not SLOPPY or CARELESS, but I am a person who is good at making due with what is there–pulling it together so it is ‘close enough’ and I feel like that helps with first drafts.
I am just good enough with grammar and spelling that those mistakes are rare (typos far less so) but I sort of just ‘wing it’ on some stuff.
I have a lot of years of OTHER kinds of editing, so maybe that is why it is so internalized that it can be fixed later, but I DO count on other sets of eyes to make sure I actually caught stuff.
So not a perfectionist (my husband fills that role in our household), but, like Bethany and Michele, I turned perfectionist when I’m editing. I’m still not satisfied with a thing I’ve done. And agreed, it’s best to keep writing and editing hats separate.
Yes, when it comes to my teaching job and my writing, I am a perfectionist. I bave become better (or worse, depending on the perspective) recently, however. I have just made up my mind I WILL write and I WILL send texts off.
I have also learned that editors do not start out by fussing about commas or discussing whether the best verb on page 139 is ´might´ or ´could´. They look at the big picture so that is also what I should try to do.
Have I learned to get my priorities right every hour and day? Not at all, but even though blogging steals some of my writing time, reading posts like yours helps me remembering my goal.
I have many perfectionists in my family. So I’ve witnessed the troubles they’ve had and try to find better solutions for myself. With that said, I’m still Type A about some things, but I give myself permission to fail too. If I didn’t, I’d never move on to another story or project. I’d still be dwelling on the first imperfect story. Mostly I strive for balance. moderation and persistence. Eventually, something will turn out perfectly, even if it ends up being a surprise! :)
Er, that should be a comma after, “balance” and not a period. D’oh!
You have a real knack for bring the heart of an issue to light, usually highlighted by something in your life. Always enjoyable to read. Has a very real feel to it. I’m wondering, are your parents Type A’s? If not, where do you think you learned these behaviors?
Best, Galen.
Imagineering Fiction Blog
Jan Morrison said…
nah, I’m a slob. Did you ever notice how many more people will admit to being perfectionists than being slobs? Is that because it is secretly considered a good trait? I need more perfectionism than I have. The original word ‘perfect’ meant to finish. that’s not a bad thing to try and achieve. Gotta go – I have lots to catch up on.
ps – I had to copy this and repost it because I made a major typo. ha ha.
I was a perfectionist when in school but since then I’ve learned to realise that some things have to be perfect but most don’t. I make plans but I keep them flexible and if things go completely out the window I have a quick five minute ‘why me’ session and then move on to plan b. I’ve noticed that I get a lot more writing done now then when I was in school – mostly because I give myself permission to write however it comes out the first time round. Thanks for sharing this post.
I’ve turned off the perfectionist switch a long time ago and tend to look at the larger picture now. I’ll then go back and perform a ton of research, try to do as much editing as I can, then turn the manuscript over to a professional editor to clean up what I missed.
Stephen Tremp
Interesting post, Elizabeth, I’ve come to the same conclusion about my urge for perfectionism that you have about yours.
Perfection, the striving to attain it, is a good thing. But it should not stall one from moving forward and DOING.
Marvin D Wilson
Great post. I use to be REALLY bad with not getting anything done because I was bogged down on the preparation and research aspects of writing. It was basically a “Ready, Aim, Fire!” approach I was trying to do. The problem I had, and as you alluded to in your post, is that it became “Ready, Aim, Aim, Aim, Aim…” and never reached the point of actually pulling the trigger. I’ve changed my methods a bit to be more along the lines of “Ready, Fire!, Aim, Fire!, Aim, etc.” (I’m sure you’ve probably heard this analogy before). What this allows me to do is not only get started on things, but also allows me to refine and converge down to a final result a lot quicker.
Bethany–Must be a sign! :) It’s true, though…we’re creating something that represents us in the world. We want it to be really good.
~Ellie–Sometimes we know these things, but have a hard time knowing how to stop the behavior!
Vicki–I bet your editing process is a snap, though.
Elizabeth–That was part of it for me, too…I’m ONE person. That’s it. I don’t have a staff. I can only do my personal best…and I need to know what that IS and stop trying to beat my best efforts.
Diane–I know how really organized and focused you are, so I’m not surprised. I think it’s great that you learned to control it and analyzed how to do that.
Margot–I KNEW you were ‘one of us!’ Your blog posts ARE perfect, though, and your book was so thoughtfully, carefully planned out.
I have a saying that ‘something’s got to give.’ I *can’t* have a perfectly clean house, delicious, healthy meals, and write books at the same time. Something has to give! Or I’ll totally lose my mind, which seems to be happening anyway. :)
Teresa–It does get in the way, doesn’t it? Thank goodness I gave up trying to be like Martha Stewart. THAT wasn’t going to happen. :)
Wendy–That’s a beautiful way of looking at it! And true…we can’t obtain perfection, so why are we trying?
Simon–AND Hemingway had Max what’s-his-face for his editor. If WE had editors like Max, they we could be sloppy, too.
Jane–If it comes with age, then I’m looking forward to the years to come. :)
Alan–You’re so right. I keep thinking that the happy go lucky folks out there are happier people…
You are a healthy person, Hart! I don’t know why so many people are so Type A. It couldn’t be a good thing. We’ll all end up with heart disease or something…
Pulling together the first draft sounds like the best way to go. Then we can unleash our perfectionist on later drafts!
Carol–A failed perfectionist! That’s what I must be, too. I definitely don’t want to pass over into the dark side.
Michele–Wrinkled paper! I never would have thought of that! You’d die over this draft I have of one of my books. I take it to schools when I talk to them because my dog got ahold of it and tore the edges off and apparently took a nap on it.
It sounds like you and your husband are a good parenting team!
Kristen–I think it takes a while. I still do things that make me shake my head the next day and say, “THAT’S where I got off track with my writing goal…”
Elspeth–Me too. I always think about the BETTER way to cook. The quicker shortcut to a destination. It’s exhausting and pointless so much of the time.
Karen–This means so much, coming from you! Thanks.
Galen–My mother is Type-A, but I’m worse than she is. She can be late for an event and I’d have a coronary if I were late for anything…
Jan–It’s like in a job interview…that’s what you’re supposed to answer when the interviewer asks you to name your worst trait. Perfectionism is the best one to list!
Julie–I bet that NaNo would be a great exercise that way. And you’re right…writing is supposed to be a creative journey and it’s rotten when we unleash our perfectionism on it too early.
Lorel–I hear you. I drive my agent and editors crazy by giving them revised manuscripts AFTER I’ve turned in the final draft at deadline. I’m trying to stop this habit…it’s not a good one.
Dorte–You’ve raised some *excellent* points. While it helps to have the query/synopsis/first 50 pages pretty error-free, editors at publishing houses are looking first at the concept. Bad grammar/punctuation/spelling trips them up, but they’re not LOOKING for it. I get my global revisions way before I get my line edits.
If you *want* to send off and share your work (lots of people just write for themselves,of course) it’s so important to take that next step.
Stephen–Sometimes I think that’s the best approach. Or a knowledgeable first reader.
Martin–It seems like a useful trait…until it’s not!
Marvin–You’re so right. And you said it perfectly. :)
Stacy–Didn’t even notice! :) Everyone’s blog readers probably get messed up because I correct blog posts during the day when I find errors. Then it shows up as a new post. :)
You’ve got a great way of looking at it. Moderation is good in everything, isn’t it?
Steven–I haven’t heard the analogy, but it’s really apt. I also wonder if the reason I had so many unfinished manuscripts at the beginning is because I freaked myself out by trying to make them perfect and decided it was just easier to move on to something else.
I’m not so much a perfectionist. I do tend to do too much editing as I go, though. I usually start the day by reading what I wrote the day before and editing it. I’m more of the kind who puts off starting because I don’t know how to start or I fear I won’t do it right.
Helen
Straight From Hel
Cassandra—I like your ‘why me’ session. I don’t have pity parties, much to my detriment.
Helen–Maybe you’re a perfectionist in the planning stages? You’ll do well, regardless.
Another great post.
It’s funny:
I’m a Type B person about life, but a Type A person about writing. Everything you described about yourself as a writer is me, yet I’m nothing like you about life itself. I’m casual, laid-back, ‘not too worried about it,’ late for everything, artistic-minded and thus absent-minded and messy.
But catch me off my game writing?
STRESSED!
:)