I was driving back from having lunch with my husband yesterday when I saw a little tableau playing out on the side of the road. Well, the road was actually a major highway and I was driving 74 (not 75 because I never go more than 9 miles over the speed limit), so my impression of the scene was a split-second one.
There were several construction workers standing at the bottom of an incline with their arms folded. There was another man who appeared to be a foreman. A furious foreman. He made chopping, angry motions with one hand before waving it around in the air. His mouth was open wide as if he were yelling. He stood stiffly and every muscle looked tensed. The person who seemed to be the object of the fury was another construction worker with slumping shoulders and head hung low as he shifted from foot to foot.
Uh-oh. Someone screwed up. And I whizzed by in another couple of seconds.
I’m not one who does well with nonverbal cues in conversation. I frequently puzzle over conversations after they’re over—thinking that I missed something. But with my writing I’ve learned to concoct social cues that help power my scene.
Can your reader tell what you’re characters are feeling by their actions?
Body language can be really useful when you’re writing. Does a character grit their teeth when their mother in law corrects them? Smile with their mouths but not with their eyes? Bite their fingernails while waiting in the dentist’s office?Do they avoid eye contact when a parent is asking them questions? You can also use their tone of voice (strained? wavering?) to help show their reactions to events.
Nonverbal cues are great ways to communicate emotions to your reader. They also fit the “show, don’t tell” requirement that editors look for in manuscripts. One upside of show, don’t tell is that the reader is a little more engaged in the passage—they’re reading clues to the character’s emotions instead of having them labeled and spoon-fed to them. It’s a more active process.
I sometimes like using nonverbal communication that sends a mixed message just to shake things up a little bit. The meek woman with the strong handshake. Or maybe the character pretends not to see an outstretched hand. Is the character snubbing the protagonist? Or is he worried about catching germs during flu season?
I’ve found it useful to practice nonverbal skills. One way is by muting the television and watching actors (who are gifted in vividly putting emotions across) as they fret and strut their way across the stage. Soap operas are especially good at this. Lots of violent emotions on soap operas…as well as Deep Thought. Overacted sometimes, but that’s all the better!
Another exercise I’ve found useful is people watching. Lots of writers go to shopping malls to watch people and get character ideas. I’ll go to coffee shops usually, since malls aren’t a favorite of mine. But while you’re people-watching, you can focus in on people whose conversations you can’t overhear. I try to guess what they’re talking about by their demeanor. Is it a job interview? (I see lots of those in coffeehouses.) Is it a couple having an argument? (I also see a fair number of those.) Someone dominating a conversation as the other person gets irritated?
Do you enjoy using nonverbal communication? Is it an easy technique for you, or a hard one?
Hope you’ll pop by Mystery Lover’s Kitchen this morning. I have a special guest, Laura Childs, who writes several mystery series for Penguin. She’s sharing her recipe for Eggs Benedict and discussing her latest release!
Mystery Lovers’ Kitchen had a nice mention in the LA Times on Tuesday: http://tinyurl.com/yd7jxjv
Yup. People watching. Always fantastic. I used to like doing that in bars, because people tend to be less guarded after a few, and their body language becomes more interesting. I don’t do that anymore, ’cause I can’t afford to go to bars. So maybe malls would be better. I could camp outside Ruby Tuesday’s!
Another great post, good lady.
Great concrete exercises to push this skill along…thanks!
I’ve always been pretty good at reading body language – kind of an essential skill for a teacher :)
I was at the bookstore today, and happened to luck out when I managed to get a seat in a comfy easy chair. After I spent about 40 minutes reading through various titles I might be interested in, I started people watching. I make a habit of studying body language. Movies are another favorite way of analyzing how people move and respond. I think an author can over do the description of the characters movements though, a light touch is best.
A book I bought, read, and loved was called ‘Reading People.’ I found it great for writing because I could identify based on feeling what the action a person would display. For instance, in my mystery books, I will often have a suspect put his hand over his mouth because it’s a sign he’s lying.
ann
People watching is great fun. You mentioned a job interview. Tight, unsure smile, focused eyes, hands clasped in lap, a bead of sweat on the upper lip. Great fun to watch, not so much fun to participate in.
Great idea about muting the television. Will try that. Reading body language and interpreting tone of voice is a talent (which my husband insists I lack when he says something and I “misinterpret” it)
Getting it down on the page takes some talent.
I love the idea of watching TV with it off. And of course people watching is an old writers’ habit.
I had a similar experience to yours last week (not this one: one you wrote about a while ago). I was in a coffee shop with another writer! It was so discomfiting. She kept looking WATCHING.
I suppose this also fits into nonverbal communication. I knew what she was doing by her body language, not by words, and because I was watching her.
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
Elizabeth – I’m a linguist, so nonverbal communication is really interesting to me. Some research shows that about 70% of our communication is nonverbal, actually. You’re right that it’s helpful to a writer to watch people’s kinesics. I people-watch sometimes. I also try to pay attention to my students. Their nonverbals are extremely informative : )
I’m good with nonverbal cues. It’s more honest, I think, than words. I don’t mean folks go around lying! Only that it’s a generally polite world, and people people say what they believe they should say. They are honest in their eyes and in their gestures.
I’m fairly quiet in real life. The tough thing about communication via the Internet is I can’t see a face or eyes or hear voice inflection, and other folks can’t see/hear any of that in me. It makes joking/true communication difficult because we cannot be sure of the other party’s meaning purely through words. Like working blind.
(This from a writer!)
Within my writing, I often use gesture/expression rather than dialogue to communicate. My protagonist is very much like me in that he prefers to speak without speaking. I use his face/his eyes to create his words.
Rereading this, I really don’t know what I’m doing being a writer. LOL. Really I’m an artist, and writing is the only medium through which I can paint.
:)
I think we learn a lot from people watching. After awhile you begin to think, now that person would be a good character in a book or that one would make a prime suspect as the killer.
I like the idea of mixed signals too. It keeps you thinking much is more important the meek woman or the strong handshake.
Great post.
I’m a people watcher. And I enjoy using non-verbal clues. I have an old book on body language and a newer writing book that also has a section on it. I use them a lot, too.
I love to people watch, especially at airports. It’s fun making up stories of who’s meeting who and why. Nonverbal communication is a skill I need to cultivate, both as a person and as a writer.
Karen
People watching is so fun! I love to do it in airports, especially. So many possibilities!
Hi Elizabeth! I just did a posting on “Show not tell”. It’s so much fun watching other people and taking ideas from them to add to your own characters. Body language is key to communication. It can sometimes tell us way more than the words a person is speaking (sometimes the truth that the person may be hiding).
Happy Thursday,
Jen
People watching is one of my favorite hobbies and I do like to try to guess what’s going on. It is fun to pass along some of the gestures or expressions to my characters.
I wonder if that construction worker still has a job!)
People watching is fun! I love going to minor league baseball games and just watching the crowd. It’s a hoot.
I try to remember the non-verbal stuff when I’m writing. I think I have the most fun with fidgitty, nervous behavior.
My husband isn’t a writer, but he always says that he likes people watching. I love to make up conversations in my mind to match the actions I’m watching. I guess I just easily amused :)
Great subject, and as always, good input on it. I am an avid people watcher, it helps my writing a lot.
Non-verbal communication is just as important as dialog in a book. I see this all the time as an editor … “talking heads” with all the expressions and emotions “tacked on” in the dialog tags. Much better to break it up often and have a character “wince” at a remark or she “squirmed in her seat before answering” – that sort of thing, and imply through actions what the emotions are.
Marvin D Wilson
People can lie with their words, but not with their bodies. Body language is everything. Love it!
Elspeth
P.S. Aren’t soaps fun? I love how everyone lives in beautiful houses with fresh flowers everywhere. No one ever makes a bed or washes a floor, but it’s always pristine.
Non-verbal communication is a many ways so much more effective than just stating facts. As you said, it puts the reader INTO the action, the plot, the story.
I love to watch people too. Another fun place to do this is at a social function. Not being a drinker, you see and hear an awful lot as people slowly become a little more – and a little more “happy.” LOL!
Thank you for the great writing tips in the past few days. I especially learned from the non-verbal clues. I like the one about mixed signals.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
Nonverbal communication is important in our writing. But we can become repetitive unless we do some research. Your ideas of where to do and playing a game of trying to figure out what is happening as you watch from afar are excellent.
Helen
Straight From Hel
The majority of my characters are male. Since we are not ones for words, I’ve tried to use body language to express thoughts and feelings.
Been meaning to get back to checking your blog with the start of 2010, but everything I did today took three times longer than I expected. Lots of constructive comments here about nonverbal cues. Next month, Mary Buckham (www.marybuckham.com)is teaching her online course on Body Language for the Guppies chapter of Sisters in Crime (www.sistersincrime.org). If you aren’t a Guppy, check Mary’s web site to find out when she teaches it next. Mary’s a marvelous teacher. Highly recommended!
Muting the television is a great idea. Many nights I fall asleep giggling to The Golden Girls with the volume so low no one could hear a thing. My husband will occasionally turn over and say, “what are you doing? You can’t even hear anything.” But their expressions and body language are more than enough to paint the picture!
Great post!
What a great scene you describes there.
And now I feel stupid that I didn´t go home and write down what I saw today: a snow-covered village where people moved around on foot – or on tractors! I saw far more tractors than cars.
Perhaps I could use that scene …
– so once again, thank you for inspiring me!
Great reminder of non-verbals! I’m a people watcher, too. Can spend hours doing so. I love to try to figure out the relationship based on the non-verbals! Thanks for the reminder!
Simon–You know the very best place to people watch (for odd characters)? The fair. When there’s a fair in town, I take the kids and see the *strangest* people. It makes me wonder where they live when they’re not at fairs.
Karen– Thanks! Hope it helps.
Elizabeth–I think it can definitely be overdone. When I start getting distracted by the character’s movements, then it’s too much!
Ann–That’s a great tip! I saw a 60 Minutes one time on the body language of liars and it was really interesting. Apparently if you rub your nose or look to one side a lot then you’re not telling the truth…
Corra–If I had my druthers, I’d be a visual artist. Only problem is that I lack even a modicum of talent. :) Seriously, you can put so much into a painting…it’s amazing. You’re right–a lot gets lost in written communication.
Jane–I’m thinking he doesn’t. Poor thing. Actually, at the time, the mystery writer in me was wondering if the foreman was about to kill the guy…
Jemi–Oh I can imagine! Teachers need to be able to tell what kids are thinking. A good skill to have! I’m really, really lousy at it.
Alan–Nothing like being judged, is there? No, I have no desire to go through a job interview anytime soon. Last one I had was 1995ish. That was enough for me!
Diane–I like fidgeters, too. Are they hiding something? Have they got ADHD? Are they just restless? They’re fun characters.
Terry–The evening news is interesting to watch muted, too. Then sometimes I’ll rewind the TiVo and see if I’ve guessed the situation correctly.
Marvin–Talking heads! Yeah, that gets old, fast.
Michele–I guess it’s a writing hangout! No surprises there. I think all the writers I know have mentioned going to coffeehouses to write. But boy, when another writer is watching you, it’s not fun. And only another writer would even realize what those folks were doing. I’ve no desire to be in anyone else’s book!
Crystal–Too funny! And when they start spilling their secrets along with their drinks, it gets even more interesting. I’m usually drinking along with the group, but at a slower pace so I can see what everyone is up to…
Margot–I bet you can tell immediately when they’re texting during class! They look at you and smile, then look way down at the edge of their desk. Then they look up directly at you and nod like they’re listening…
My son’s texting drives me batty sometimes. :)
Mary–Thanks for coming by! I’m glad they’ve been useful.
Mason–The people who aren’t quite what they seem are always the most interesting to me. I love discovering facets of personalities that don’t seem to match the person.
Helen–Thanks! Yes, I’ve done the repetitive thing before, too. It’s easy to have the character make the same movements over and over again.
Alex–Very good point! With male characters, I wouldn’t expect a whole lot of talk about what feelings they’re experiencing. Better just to show them with actions.
Carol–The books sound really useful. Probably psychology books would be good on that kind of thing, too.
Karen–Airports would be GREAT. I don’t fly enough to people watch there, though. And after the events of the last couple of weeks, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to fly anytime soon!
Kristen–I think you and Karen have a good tip there. Where are these people going? Are they happy about going there? Are they meeting someone they’re happy to be with, or are they leaving someone behind and upset about it?
Jen–I think it’s a key that I’m missing, unless I’m making it up for a book! I tell my friends to make sure to tell me everything flat out instead of hinting around it.
Sylvia–I like doing that too. How are the people related..if they are. Are they coworkers? Friends? Spouses?
I have a few I rely on too much (nods, smirks) and have to cut back on when I edit, but I love them to distinguish people. My teen in the first book rolls her eyes a lot when she’s annoyed and her little sister picks up a little of this (it annoys her mother–having a 5-year old teen)
Speople talk a lot with their hands–big motions, and it says a lot about their personality (I think a little inclined to exaggeration, and emotionally effusive). I LOVE your thoughts for learning more about using them though!
I love the idea of muting the TV and watching body language!
Janel–See, that’s what makes writers different. :) I don’t think anyone else does stuff like that…
Elspeth–And the people are all so pretty and seem perfectly accessorized. I think I need their maid service, now that you mention it…
Anonymous–Thanks.
Hart–I think it’s good to have some movements and mannerisms associated with certain characters. And eye rolling you could probably use ALL the time when talking about a teen–and it would be totally believable. :)
Suzanne–I think I’ve heard about that course before–good point! I’ve heard really great things about the Guppies and know it’s a very helpful organization for writers. Thanks for the tip!
Tamika–I bet they’re great to watch with the volume off. Their expressions were always so great!
Carolyn–It’s fun. :) And sometimes it’s even more fun to un-mute and see how far off you were (or not!)
Excellent post! Non-verbal cues can sometimes say so much more than words. :-)
I enjoy people watching, but I’m struck by how most people aren’t non-verbal. I’m a fan of movies and TV, so I’m used to actors and their wonderful body language. That’s not real life. Sure, there is the occasional angry parent, pouting child, arguing married couple, or disdainful teenager, but most people I see try to suppress their true feelings. I’ve tried to put more of this bottled up emotion in my characters.
Dorte–Sounds like a much prettier scene than the one that I saw. :) I’m the same way about writing them down…got to note everything or it slips away!
Shannon–Thanks! And thanks for coming by.
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