Right now, even as I type, we’re having our upstairs and downstairs a/c systems replaced, along with our furnace.
In my blissful ignorance, I thought this wasn’t that complex of a job. Actually, I don’t think I thought anything much about it at all. I was a little surprised when I heard that it was going to take Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to do the job…but I didn’t really think about the why behind the length of the job.
Then, a few days ago, I spoke to a friend of mine and mentioned the upcoming work. “Ohhh,” she said. “That was the craziest, most invasive thing I’ve ever had to go through when we had ours replaced. They were in every room of the house and the garage and attic, too! It took days and they kept running into problems during the installation.”
This was an eye-opener.
So when the guys showed up Wednesday morning and were in and out the door with all kinds of materials for the HVAC installation, I had the cats squirreled away in a quiet place where they wouldn’t be too freaked out. When they ended up having to take the attic door off because the new furnace was too big to go through the door, I wasn’t too surprised. When I was told the upstairs wouldn’t have any air conditioning Wednesday night, I had the downstairs bedroom ready for us to sleep in.
So far, the process feels like it’s going pretty smoothly—even when it’s not—because I’m prepared for the possible outcomes.
This same approach works well for writing, too. I think, sometimes, when we prepare ourselves for rejection or criticism or bumpy spots in our manuscripts or writer’s block then when it happens (as it inevitably does if we write for a long while) that it’s easier to deal with.
We’re still going through the bad patch…but we’re better equipped to deal with it because it’s not a surprise.
Jody Hedlund, who writes an excellent blog under her name, wrote a post Wednesday called “The Pain of Rejection Never Gets Easier.” She’s right—it doesn’t…whether it comes from agents, publishers, editors, readers, or reviewers.
But I think we can steel ourselves against it a little. And while we’re at it, we can also expect that there will be places in our manuscript where the muse will give us the silent treatment. There’s a point, obviously, where this attitude becomes pessimism, but I think I’m one of those people who likes to be pleasantly surprised instead by good news instead of sucker-punched by the bad stuff.
How do you prepare yourself for problems—whether they’re bad writing days, manuscript rejections, or poor reviews?
I’m learning to leave my expectations aside and just to go with whatever happens. It seems to be a less stressful way to go. Have a plan but when it falls apart, just move on. At least that’s what I tell myself to do.
Elizabeth – As always, a really interesting question. I think it really is important to steel oneself for bad times, but still try to be confident. It’s much like filling the car tank, checking the tires, finding the roadside assistance number and making sure there are drinks and snacks in the car if you’re heading on a long car trip. You don’t want bad things to happen, but you’re prepared if they do. In writing, I prepare for those times by asking myself, “OK, what’s my plan if this is rejected?” and researching other publishers, or asking myself, “What am I willing to change if my beta readers don’t think this is going to work at all?” and thinking about other plot ideas. It’s a matter of imagining those scenarios and making a plan for them, for me, anyway.
I think it’s those unexpected problems that really do thrown us for a spin sometimes. When you have an idea of what problems to expect you don’t have as many problems and they don’t seem to grow into a life of their own.
Good luck with your AC, we’re expected to have temperatures in the upper 90s and 100 for at least another week.
Mason
Thoughts in Progress
Preparation stills the fear of the unknown and propels a project forward. So important.
Research is important to writing,a preparation that must not be bypassed or hurried through.
T
Good luck with the furnace/AC replacement. Been there, done that! Again, good luck. :)
I try to keep the attitude that rejection (bad things) happen. Move on. Just keep going is my motto after experiencing not so fun moments.
After all those episodes of Holmes on Homes, we were prepared for the worst when we started our renovations. We were very lucky with only one surprise–the bathroom light fixtures, which we wanted to replace, hadn’t been installed to code, so it’ll be a bigger job for the electrician (and will cost us more). However, we haven’t had the furnace guy come take a look at things yet. That’s the one I’m dreading, because downstairs is at least 10 degrees colder than upstairs. I can’t imagine it being a simple fix–unless we opt for sweatshirts and blankets!)
Terry
Terry’s Place
Romance with a Twist–of Mystery
Sounds like a lot of work!! Good luck with it.
I tend to keep my expectations pretty low (even while I dream big) so I hope I’m prepared & then pleasantly surprised. :)
We had our AC unit replaced, but thank God it’s outside!
My biggest problem is occasional dry spells and writer’s block in certain areas of a manuscript.
Sounds terrible, but my reaction to this is usually stomping around the house for days on end, cranky and mad at everyone. I know, it’s not healthy.
But, what usually happens is, everyone just starts to avoid me and I get to spend some time with my characters and their (and my) motivations. This usually gets me back on track right after I make apologies.
I imagine Ac in NC is a high priority! Expecting the worst is a useful attitude. It helps me to just be glad if and when I do get acceptance for my writing, or any other creative endeavor. You can’t expect it. You can’t rely on it to motivate you to do more. You can’t use it as a measure of your ability. All we can do is answer the call of our gifts.
I always try to take rejection for what it is. If I get rejections from agents or publishers I realize where they come from and take whatever criticism to heart. I try to understand the meanings behind the words so as to improve my craft.
CD
I had a boss who told me, make all surprises good ones. She just wanted me to be sure she was never blindingsided at work but the concept applies to pretty much anything. I just try to find that happy balance between being optomistic enough to enjoy the journey and being ready for the inevitable detours and roadblocks.
By the way, I finished Delicious and Suspicious the other day and really enjoyed it. But it’s a hard read for anyone on a diet. The food! Oh, the food! :-)
One thing that is extremely important for me when I send off a full novel is to plunge into a new project immediately. If I feel I am making progress, perhaps even loving my new WIP, it is much easier to live with the fact that someone else rejected my ´older child´. And the months go by without me waiting for the postman every day. Danish publishers usually say 6-8 weeks, but what they mean is 3-6 months :(
I have tough skin, but being side-swiped still hurts. Sometimes you just have to roll with it. Look at the matter as a whole rather than looking at through tunnel vision. As long as I’m completing a milestone, I can handle some rejection or bad stuff along the way.
Stephen Tremp
Cassandra–Having a Plan B is a great idea!
Alex–Oh, you just wouldn’t believe it. And I feel so bad for these guys…it’s SO HOT. And our attic must be 135 or 140 degrees.
Margot–Sometimes I think I’m making sure that bad things DON’T happen…when I’m prepared for the worst then everything seems to go smoothly!
Mason–And the problems WANT to grow into a life of their own!
It’s right at 100 today. Ack.
Journaling Woman–Research is VERY important for preparation…whether it’s for the manuscript or research of agents or editors to submit to.
J.L. Stratton–Cranky! Yes, that’s what happens to me sometimes, too! And you’re right, our families are only too happy to give us an attitude adjustment. :)
Janel–I think persistance helps a lot!
Mary–Today it’s 100 degrees…which is VERY hot for here, but definitely underscores the need for functioning a/c! Bleh.
And…well-put! We’re answering the call to write and we have to motivate and encourage *ourselves* instead of relying on someone else to do it.
Terry–This new equipment is HUGE! Apparently, lots has changed since the original units were put in 12 years ago. Yeah, we were chilly last winter, which had record cold days here. And…ugh. Anything unexpected involving an electrician is BIG $$!
Jemi–Me too. I worry sometimes this makes me a pessimist, but I think it works out best for me.
Clarissa–I figure that the editors know what changes to make a lot better than I do because they have to read so much every day.
Linda–Thanks so much! Yes, lots of Southern food in there…and we don’t seem to know the meaning of the word “diet” down here! Every recipe has sour cream or a stick of butter, or whipping cream, or bacon… :)
I like your boss’ saying!
Stephen–I actually read a great post the other day on celebrating milestones. I think you’re so right–we need to provide our own encouragement.
Part of preparation is life. When you’re young and you’re hit by something bad, it is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. As you get older and have experienced setbacks, you learn to not take it so personally and to work through it. This too shall pass.
Helen
I generally expect rejection, so when it arrives, it’s like, “Okay, on to the next market.”
This is, of course, for short stories and flash fiction, but when it comes time to query, it’ll be along the lines of, “Okay, on to the next agent.”
What else can you do?
This would be why I have my husband. As an eternal optimist, I figure ‘it’ll all work out’ and travel on my merry way, but he keeps me in line… he thinks of EVERY LAST THING that might go wrong. Points them out. Nags. Threatens all the additional and mostly unrelated things that will be required…
A little harder on the writing. He doesn’t read my stuff (don’t want him to–WHO NEEDS all that negativity?!) *snicker* But the point of preparing ourselves is good.
Someone wise said “Low expectations, high serenity, high expectations, low serenity.”
To some extent that conflicts a bit with the “law of attraction,” so I try to maintain a balance, especially when sending out queries.