by Lois Winston, @anasleuth
Upstairs, the front door slammed with enough force to register a five on the Richter scale.
That’s the first line of Death By Killer Mop Doll, the second book in my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries. I’m a firm believer in first line hooks. The first sentence of a novel should make the reader want to read the second sentence. The hook doesn’t have to be defined in the first sentence, but that first sentence should lead you into the next. And that one to the next. Until you have a paragraph that becomes a hook that grabs and won’t let go. That first paragraph should do for the first page what the first sentence did for the first paragraph, and the first page should do for the subsequent pages what the first paragraph did for the first page. Finally, those first pages should create a first scene that refuses to let the reader put the book down.
The opening of a book should be filled with interesting action and/or dialogue that intrigues and makes the reader want to continue reading. One of the worst mistakes I see beginner writers making is filling the openings of their books with paragraph after paragraph of back-story and/or description. The opening of a book should suck the reader into the world the author has created. Back-story can come later, trickling in to tease the reader to continue reading more, not as information dumps that pull the reader from the story. A good opening will include only the barest minimum of back-story that is essential for that moment.
As for description, it should be woven into the narrative and dialogue. Nothing bores more than long paragraphs describing everything from the length of the protagonist’s hair to the color of her toenail polish. It pulls the reader from the story. And pulling the reader from the story is a BAD thing. It adversely affects the pacing of the book, and good pacing is something that is important to a well-written novel.
Sometimes the plot and conflict might not be evident in the opening of a book, but there should be enough of a tease within that opening to give the reader an indication of events to come. With the first sentence of Death By Killer Mop Doll, the reader knows something is about to happen.
Dialogue and/or narrative action are usually the best ways for a writer to create this foreshadowing of things to come, but internalization done well will also work as a hook. One technique is to begin your story by throwing the reader right into the middle of a conversation or event.
One of my favorite first sentences of all time is from Kiss an Angel by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. That book’s first sentence is:
Daisy Devreaux had forgotten her bridegroom’s name.
How can anyone not keep reading after that sentence?
Do you have a favorite first sentence? Post a comment, and you could win one of 5 signed copies of Death By Killer Mop Doll I’m giving away as part of my blog tour this month. The full tour schedule can be found at my website, http://www.loiswinston.com, and the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog, http://www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. In addition, I’m giving away 3 copies of Death By Killer Mop Doll on Goodreads, http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/15173-death-by-killer-mop-doll
Also, for anyone attending The American Library Association’s Mid-Winter conference January 20-24 in Dallas, Midnight Ink will be raffling off the hand-crafted mop doll shown in the photo during the opening reception Friday evening. Register for the drawing at the Midnight Ink booth #1459.
Lois Winston is the author of the critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries published by Midnight Ink. Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun, the first book in the series, received starred reviews from Publishers Weekly and Booklist. The new year brings with it the release of Death By Killer Mop Doll, the second book in the series. Read an excerpt at http://www.loiswinston.com/excerptap2.html. Visit Lois at her website: http://www.loiswinston.com and Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog: http://www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. You can also follow Lois and Anastasia on Twitter @anasleuth.
“It was the egret, flying out of the lemon grove, that started it”, from Mary Stewart’s The Moonspinners.
Elizabeth – Thanks so much for hosting Lois.
Lois – First lines can be so powerful! My favourite: Eunice Parchman killed the Coverdale family because she could not read or write, the first line of Ruth Rendell’s A Judgement in Stone.
Lois, I love first liners and I have so many favs. My favorite today is “There was a hand in the darkness and it held a knife.” The Graveyard book by Neil Gaiman. Awesome stuff here.
Thanks, E, for hosting.
Teresa
What a great post! I hadn’t thought about first lines but they really can hook a reader. Besides the classic “it was a dark and stormy night….”, one of my favorites is from Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier – “Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.” It’s the start of a wonderful book!
Thanks so much for being my guest today, Lois! And congratulations on your new release. Can’t wait to read “Death By Killer Mop Doll!”
I loved the way “Moby Dick” opened: “Call me Ismael.” :)
Thanks for having me, Elizabeth. And thanks for those first lines, Liz, Margot, Teresa. It will be fun to see what others post throughout the day.
Very short first line from my romantic comedy, Girl of My Dreams by Morgan Mandel, is
“Not that.”
Morgan Mandel
http://morganmandel.blogspot.com
morgan@morganmandel.com
One of the best first lines I’ve ever read is from the late Rick Hanson’s first mystery in the Adam McCleet series. I will have to paraphrase it: “Given a choice between a claw hammer to the brain and waking Margot, Adam would rather take the hammer.”
I don’t really focus on first lines [don’t shoot me] but here are two among my favorites.
One was partly invoked by Elizabeth: In Mell Lazarus’ “The Boss is Crazy Too” the opener is:
“Call me Ismael … call me anything you like.” It sets up a very funny book.
The other, for quite different reasons, is the first line of Harper Lee’s “To Kill A Mockingbird.” I don’t have the specific wording in my mind, but I think it’s something about the day that Boo Radley came out. Immediately I want to know who is Boo R. and where was he and why did he come out.
This is GREAT! I’m currently teaching a class called Killer Openings and these are all the things I’ve been telling my students.
From Raymond Chandler’s “Red Wind,” a short, more than a sentence, the whole first paragraph:
“There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands’ necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge.”
From Raymond Chandler’s “Red Wind,” a short, more than a sentence, the whole first paragraph:
“There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands’ necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge.”
Thank you, Morgan, Shannon, Jeff, Alexa, and Jane!
Jeff, that first line from To Kill a Mockingbird would have a totally different meaning these days.
The one I’m reading at the moment hooked me in – ‘What do you call a dead, sixty-eight-year-old polygamist?’ from Desert Wives by Betty Webb.
I find this interesting because we’re told never to start with a question or dialogue or a long description.
Dickens’ beginning to a Tale of Two Cities does it for me: It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.
Hi Lois – great post! I do have a question. I have written a second book to a series, but am contemplating the beginning. It doesn’t have that first sentence hook. Is it as necessary in a second book, assuming you have already ‘hooked’ the reader with the first book? What are your thoughts on that?
Maddy, I love that first line! And I don’t believe in the rule (which I’ve actually never seen written anywhere) that you should never open with a question. I do believe you should never open with long, boring descriptive passages or back-story, though. As for dialogue, lots of great books begin with throwing the reader right into a dialogue scene. It can be very effective.
Michal, Tale of Two Cities is one of my favorite books!
Terra, I think all books should open with a hook that draws the reader into the story. It doesn’t matter whether the book is the next in a continuing series or a stand-alone.
“The night breathed through the apartment like a dark animal.” Opening line of Cornelia Funke’s Reckless. One of my favs! Very proud of you, Lois!!!
The opening line that most repeats in my mind of late is “The circus arrives without warning” from THE NIGHT CIRCUS. It sucked me right onto the next sentence…and the next paragraph, and the next page…all the way to the end. Those opening lines are deceptively simple but so, so important!
Chandler was a master, doc!
I love the title of this book!
That first line is so important and so hard to get just right.
Wonderful post, Lois and it has certainly hooked me–I really want to check out this series now ;-)
Thanks for the great writing advice. One of my favorite first lines is from OUTLANDER by Diana Gabaldon: “It wasn’t a very likely place for disappearances, at least at first glance.”
The best comment I can think of is “Why won’t you die?” I know I’ve either read or heard in a movie or something. But it always sticks with me.
Wonderful post, and very informative. And I love all the first lines!
“I suppose that my mother could have been a witch if she had chosen to.” Mary Stewart – Thornyhold.
Southpaw, thanks! I love my titles, too! ;-)
Linda, glad I hooked you. Hope you enjoy the series.
Thanks, Darynda!
Jennifer, I keep hearing such wonderful things about The Night Circus. I’ve got to find time to read it.
Mary, I know I’ve heard that line, too, so I Googled it. It’s actually from several movies:
“Why won’t you die?” the Joker yells at Batman
(Batman)
Freddy Krueger: [Walks towards Jason] Why won’t you DIE?
(Freddy vs. Jason)
Creedy: Die! Why won’t you die?
V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. There is an idea, Mr. Creedy – and ideas are bulletproof.
(V for Vendetta)
Joe ‘Sky Captain’ Sullivan: Why won’t you die? [to the Mysterious Woman]
(Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow)
Austin Powers has also said it.
My name is Gin, and I kill people.
From Spider’s Bite by Jennifer Estep.
sgiden at verizon.net
Being so shy and retiring, I’m going to post my own first line from THE HOLLOW HOUSE, which I do modestly think is a grabber :
“I decided I would be called Geraldine Brunton; it was not the name I was born with, nor the name I married, but it was as good a name to hide under as any other.”
Favorite first sentence. Oh, that is impossible. I’ll just share one I love: “Not so long ago, a monster came to the small town of Castle Rock, ME.” To me that is epic King. The turning on its head the ‘A long, long time ago’. The fact that the monster will soon be exposed as all too human. The name of the setting.
Great topic, Lois!
Thanks, Charlotte!
Pamela and SandyG, those are both great first lines.
I love opening lines, book dedications, and boat names. Here’s three of my favorite first lines, all mine. I’m not shy either!
“If that plane won’t fly, amigo, you’d better be able to walk on water.” River of Dreams
Cornwall shook off the soft spring day like a cat vibrating a wet paw. The Spaniard’s Cross
“Where’s Lani and who the hell are you?” Pele’s Tears
Sharon K. Garner
Great first lines, Janis and Jenny!
Thanks, Sharon! I especially like the opening of River of Dreams.