by John Kerr, @themaltesetiger
Can we talk about F. Scott Fitzgerald? Author of The Great Gatsby, that American classic we all read in high school. Without a doubt, one of the most acclaimed American writers in history. But, did you know that his follow-up novel, Tender is the Night, was panned by critics?
The book was so ridiculed that Fitzgerald was driven out of the literary world. He fled to Los Angeles looking for success as a screenwriter but found none. Once thought of as a rising star, Fitzgerald was considered a has-been by the end of his career. He died believing he was a failure.
But he was wrong, and today we celebrate him as one of the greatest writers of the twentieth century. Which brings me to my point-
Rejection happens to all of us.
Add it to the column under Death and Taxes. You can’t let it cripple you, though. You must learn from it, and move on. But, how do you move on from something that can feel so personal and cut so deep?
Well, that’s what I’m going to talk about. So, here are a few tips on…
How to Handle Rejection
First off…
Don’t take it personally
Easier said than done, right? After pouring your soul into a story it’s hard not to take rejection personally. But it’s never an editor’s intention to hurt you.
Keep in mind that editors don’t know you from Adam. They’re professionals and they’re not out to get anyone. Their job is to find work that fits their publication. And they get a lot of submissions.
They only have time to read a few sentences. If you don’t hook them, they’re moving on. They aren’t trying to send you a message-
Give up now! You’ll never be a writer!
In short, they don’t care what you do.
Rejection from an editor can only tell you one thing- your story wasn’t right for them. It happens, and it’s not personal. It’s business.
So, move on.
Or better yet…
Learn from it
You can learn a lot from rejection.
Was it a form letter?
You didn’t hook your reader! The editor only read of few sentences before deciding to pass on it. If you receive several form letters that could mean your story needs an overhaul. Stop submitting and revisit the piece. Ask yourself- can this story be fixed or should it be shelved?
Was it a personal rejection?
A personal rejection is great! It means the editor read your story. Well, most of it. It’s a sign that your story works. It’s just not a good fit for the publisher.
Pay attention to personal rejections. Sometimes editors will give you tips on how to sharpen your writing. You’re basically getting a free professional critique! Which brings me to my next point.
Celebrate Small Victories
Let’s say you got a personal rejection from an editor. That’s huge! That’s amazing! You hooked them. They read your story!
Editors have a keen eye. They can spot bad writing from miles away. If you’ve got a personal rejection from an editor it means your story may not be perfect, but it works. It just didn’t work for them.
Or, maybe you got a dozen form letters. That’s great! Now you know something is wrong with your story. You can spend your time fixing it or writing a new story. But you learned something valuable.
Celebrate!
Writing is a journey, sometimes a grind, but never a burden. We get to do this. Take a little joy, a little satisfaction from these “near misses.” You’re on the right track, you just haven’t gone far enough.
Learn when to Let Go
Rejection can be illuminating. It can save you from a lot of wasted nights of editing a fatally flawed work. So, if your story has been rejected forty times take the hint. This story isn’t working. Let it go.
Bad stories aren’t wasted effort. They are necessary for the learning process. Every author has dozens of bad stories they have to dig through before they get to the good stuff. The pay dirt.
So write your bad stories. You won’t recognize them, but rejection will help you spot them. Then you can write another bad story, and another, and another. Until one day, you’ll start writing the good ones.
Process and Move On
Rejection is a good time to take stock of your work and answer a few questions-
What kind of rejection was it?
A personal rejection?
- Can you make the changes that the editor suggested and resubmit?
A form letter rejection?
- Is this the first one? Keep submitting.
- Add it to the pile? Revisit your work.
Find good beta readers. The best proofreaders are strangers because they’ll be honest with you. Look for an online community where you can share your work and get honest feedback.
Be Patient
Success takes time.
We hear a lot of stories about writers finding success overnight. But that’s not the normal experience. Most writers toil in obscurity for years, sometimes decades before they get any recognition.
Your first story went nowhere? So what. Write a new one. Sometimes, you haven’t found success because you haven’t sacrificed enough time. You haven’t written enough, you haven’t read enough, you’re not ready.
But, with time, you will be.
Kill your Ego and Find your Purpose
Ego can be a good thing for a writer. Without it, you might not have the confidence to get your story out into the world. But, too much ego will hold you back.
Ego can trick you into believing that your instincts are always correct. That you’re destined for greatness.
I hate to say it, but the only thing we’re destined for is the grave. Any success that comes before that is the result of a lot of hard work and plenty of failures.
Replace ego with a drive to create. Ask yourself why you want to write. Find a purpose. Something that will sustain your writing. Something meaningful.
I write because I love stories. I love reading them, finding their hidden meaning, discussing their secrets with like-minded companions. If someone wants to publish one of my stories, well that’s just an added bonus!
Once you find a purpose, rejection won’t feel like a personal affront. You’ll see it for what it is. A meaningful step in your journey as a writer.
Rejection is a universal experience and it can be useful. So, take it in stride and whatever you do…
Don’t stop writing!
John Kerr is an amateur author and professional junior high English teacher. His work has been published in Helios Quarterly Magazine, The Wifiles, Listverse, and The Texas Writers Journal. You can find his blog at TheMalteseTiger.com where he talks about story and fiction writing.
Photo on Visual Hunt
Thanks so much for the post today, John! Great advice here. You’re so right about the importance of being patient and moving on to another project while one is being rejected. That advice also works well when a published book is being poorly-reviewed by readers…it helps to dissociate from the book and keep moving ahead. Thanks for the great post!
Hi Elizabeth – great guest post from John … and as you say with so many valid points. It’s finding our way … but advice and guidance from others can really help us work our way through to success … maybe just local success, but with luck to national/international success.
Blogging can certainly help guide our way through too – we can discover our voice … and what works etc … try other things – eg giving talks, getting involved with your local community, as well as spreading your wings – excellent – thanks … and we need to keep on writing – cheers Hilary
Great point, Hilary, on finding our voice through blogging! There’s a whole community out there that we can connect to that also helps provide support and encouragement.
Thank you, Hilary. I think finding success locally is a great point! It’s great to have a community of support, people you can talk to in person! Thanks.
John
Rejection in the form of bad reviews teaches you as well. They point out what you need to change in the next book.
I like to use bad reviews that way. Helps me with future books!
This is really good advice. I think it’s important not to take it personally, but to use it as a chance to get closer to one’s goals. And that commitment can help keep the rejections from being too distracting.
That’s a great, positive take on it!
Thanks Margot! Totally agree!
John
I always personalize DLP’s rejections, even if it’s to point out where they could improve in their querying. (Which is often the reason it’s rejected – I never even get to the manuscript or synopsis.)
This is why you don’t have time for your own writing, Diane, ha! But that’s awesome that you take the time to give personal rejections.
Great post! I’m not very analytical, so this gives me something to think about. Thanks for hosting him, Elizabeth.
Rejections are hard, and some sting more than others. I usually take a little time to get over one of the stingers – I allow myself no more than five minutes. Then after a big sigh, I move on. Life’s too short and my head’s filled with too many stories.
I like your 5-minute rule. :) Then move on to the next story!
Taking time to process is an excellent point! Thanks, Carol! I’m glad you found the post useful!
I’ve had my share of rejections over the years, especially with short stories, and it took some time to get to a place where I didn’t take it personally. Now, after a lot of years, I’m getting better at the process, both writing and submitting. It pays to keep on trying.
Thanks for this, Pat! That’s a nice attitude to have. Hope you have a great week.
[…] week I was lucky enough to score a guest post over at author Elizabeth Craig’s blog. I wrote on a subject I’m painfully familiar with- Rejection. More specifically, How to Survive […]
Excellent post. It’s been a very long time since I submitted anything, but rejection for me has always been a drive to work harder. To make things better. It is awfully hard not to take it personally, but maybe taking it a little personally is a good thing. It allows you to really examine your weaknesses.
Very good point, Susan! The rejections can actually help point us in the right direction.
Thanks, Susan! I love that you can use rejection as a motivating tool! Very good advice.
John
I liked what John said about having patience.
It reminded me of something I saw on Pinterest – the iceberg theory of success.
Basically, when we hear about an overnight success, we’re seeing the tip of the iceberg. We’re not seeing all the years of hard work, failure, rejection, sacrifice, etc. that’s underneath the surface.
Definitely puts things in perspective!
It sure does. I wonder if there really *are* any overnight successes?
Yes! I love this! Thanks for sharing. Glad you liked the post!
[…] Read the rest of this post HERE. […]
Excellent advice John! I often think of the struggles of toddlers learning to walk. What if when they toppled, as they will do, they gave up, thinking they must not be made for walking as they had failed at it? Success is rising again and again until the falling is forgotten. There was a blogger I followed many years ago who always baked something and posted her recipe upon receiving a rejection. I liked that. We will be rejected so let’s get through it!
Great analogy, Jan! I’m glad you liked the post. People sometimes mystify creative endeavors and think that you need some inborn talent to be successful. But, like walking, all it really takes is a lot of practice.
John
If the rejection gives you reasons that is always a plus. Rejection is a part of life in general. I stopped taking rejection personally a couple hundred years ago.
Love this post. Thanks for it.
You’re an example to all of us! Glad you liked the post, T!
John
Excellent tips! I remember smiling after my 1st query rejection – I felt like a ‘real’ writer!
Same with my first request for a full – and even the personalized rejection on that. So full of great advice and insights!
Thank you, Jemi! I’m happy you found this useful!
John
Great advice. I can see how it would be easy to take rejections personally because you have put some much of yourself into the story. But keeping this advice in mind, that rejection (or two) could help make your story one that readers won’t be able to put down and will recommend to their friends.
Thanks, Mason! Excellent point.
And sometimes, its the query, not the story, if no chapters were requested. I’ve learned a lot from rejection, as you say. Thanks for all the tips.
I’m still a ways from submitting anything, so I have plenty of time to fret over the thought of my impending rejections. Wouldn’t it be great if we had some sort of tracker that let us know just how far the editor read before they said no. Maybe we could pinpoint where the problem lies.
A tracker would be great! Such things exist for some retail sites and Wattpad…would be really useful for writers who query.