Yesterday I wrote about books and manuscripts with wooden prose and a flat delivery.
Ways I thought a writer could jazz up the writing a bit were by changing the voice, revising the work, including vivid setting imagery, changing the sentence structure, and by supplying character movement.
Here are some other ways to enliven flat text:
Use more dialogue. A conversation between characters; as long as it’s moving the plot along or creating some conflict, or playing a role; is a great way to liven up a wooden scene.
Use both long sentences and short sentences. Mixing up the sentence length lends the text a different rhythm and pace.
Show, don’t tell. Instead of telling how a character feels about something, show the emotion through the character’s actions. There are times where telling is better than showing (action sequences, for example), but for the most part, it’s more interesting for the reader if they can draw their own conclusions instead of being spoon-fed information. It brings the reader into the story and gives the novel depth—gets rid of the flatness.
Consider your choice of words. Are you writing in an accessible way? What kind of an impression is our vocabulary or style giving the reader? The worst thing to do is sound pedantic or as if we’re talking down to our reader. Plus, it’s not drawing the reader in. And, usually? It reads very woodenly to me.
Consider the project itself. Have you lost interest in it? If you’re writing woodenly day after day, it could be symptomatic of a problem on your end. Have you fallen in love with an idea for a different novel? Have you written yourself into a hole? Assess what’s changed. See if you can get excited again about the WIP or whether it’s time to put it in the graveyard of unfinished projects.
Has your WIP ever sounded flat? What did you do to fix it?
Very enlightening! I like using dialogue. I’m afraid sometimes though, I use too much.
I love dialogue – both writing it and reading it. It really does make the story more real.
I actually knew about these tips and use them, but need to remember not to be so in love with what I write that I can’t see when my scenes are flat.
More great tips. I especially like your “graveyard of unfinished projects.” Leave it to a mystery writer!
Elizabeth – Once again, a very, very helpful and interesting post! I agree on all of your suggestions; I think my favorites are using more dialogue (after all, that’s how we learn a lot – from talking and listening) and varying sentence length. Maybe it’s because I’m a linguist, but I always notice it when sentences are either too choppy or too cumbersome. OK, back to the WIP to see if I’ve “sinned” in those areas…
More great tips, thanks. I especially like the part about show and tell. That does make a story go much smoother and more interesting.
The things listed above! Ha! I think I love showing most of all.
You’re awesome, Elizabeth! Thanks for this list!
After reading this I must go back and look at my “WIP” or is that “RIP” Resting in Progress, Right in Progress….LOL!
Thanks for the reminders.
Good points to ponder, Elizabeth! When I first started writing, I’d find myself using the same gestures over and over again. And it seemed like with each book, I’d use particular words too much. Now I word-search for repetitions and I try to vary gestures enough that the scene flows like water and not thuds like a log.
If a scene is flat, it’s usually because nothing important to the plot is happening. Of course, recognizing it while you’re writing is another story. That means admitting you’ve actually written something flat!
Sometimes it’s better to scrap the scene. See what plot points are vital, and find another way to get them on the page.
Awesome tips, Elizabeth! As I’m starting my new novel, I needed the reminders! Thank you!
Great questions to ask. I haven’t really considered whether or not I have any wooden scenes. I’ll have to make a note to look for it as I revise and edit.
When I run across flat scenes, I usually try to combine the dialogue solution with show, don’t tell. I’m keeping your list handy so I can refer to it for other ideas when dialogue won’t work.
One of the hardest things for me to understand and learn when I went back to college at 52 was the difference between showing and telling. I think I get it now, but I find I still first tell. Then I have to go back and see how I can show what I mean. It doesn’t come naturally.
Karen
I have some jewels poking through the flatness of first draft. As I edit, I strive to liven it up. I’m guilty of thinking it all sounds flat and boring by the time I’m done. It isn’t until I read it later on that I think maybe it isn’t too bad.
I love fluctuating length of sentences. I’m working on that one now. It really can do wonders.
~ Wendy
As usual, very good tips. I still work on the show and not tell one…I think it’s easier to tell sometimes. That’s why we do it.
ann
I find that when I’m editing a new writer there’s often a lot of showing versus telling. It’s sometimes not easy to let the reader see the emotions of the characters. It’s easier to have an omniscient voice tell the reader that the character loves his parents, for example. But it’s much more believable if we see how he treats and reacts to them, even though he never uses the word “love.”
Another great post.
Helen
Straight From Hel
I use dialogue which can (as I said yesterday) lead to Talking Heads. I try to show more and tell less. If it’s incredibly flat and dull it may meet the delete fate. For me, flat scenes usually denote I wrote too quickly and I need to fill it in or, contrarywise, I didn’t remember less is more and the flat scene is nothing BUT filler.
Elspeth
I agree with all of these. I just edited a book for a novice author who would switch back and forth right in the middle of a long conversation between characters – she’d have them talking for a while in dialog, then she would switch to narrative and “tell” me what the characters said. I was like, Hey! Let them speak for themselves, hmm?
Marvin D Wilson
It has been really difficult for me to get into my novel lately so I have tried to follow your advice: write the scenes that you feel like working on right now.
Boldly, I let the two teenage daughters and their mother stew while I turned to a dramatic scene a few years later. (I have killed off two people in two days which is much more interesting than teenagers playing truant).
Nope, my WIP has never fallen flat. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I usually just leave it for a day or so and come back rejuvenated. That’s what seems to work best for me. ;-)
Judy–For me there can’t be too much dialogue! I love it!
Jemi–It makes me feel like I’m right there in the scene with the characters when I read dialogue.
Jane– Hope it helps. :)
Teresa–Sometimes I get so USED to what I’ve written that I lose perspective on it. Then I try to take a little break from it and work on something else.
Alan–We mystery writers love those graveyards. :)
Wendy–I think so, too. We should have told Hemingway and Faulkner that tip. They were one extreme and the other!
Ann–I think it’s much easier to tell. I think telling actually comes naturally to writers and the showing is tricky.
Helen–And the reader feels clever that they put all the clues together–instead of being spoon-fed the information.
Margot–I bet being a linguist makes you REALLY analyze what you’ve written!
Mason–Thanks!
Marvin–Oh,that’s REALLY boring. I read a book recently that had NO dialogue. Thought I was going to go crazy…
Kristen–You’re so welcome! And thanks.
Cyn–I *love* RIP! Too funny!
Stacy–Good point! My characters seem to sigh a lot. :) I go back through in revisions and change things around.
Terry–We all want our manuscript to go down on paper beautifully written–but somehow it doesn’t seem to happen that way, does it? At least not for me! I do scrap a ton of scenes.
Jody–Good luck with that new novel :) And thanks for the tweet I saw on Twitter.
Tara–Hope it helps!
Karen–You know, I don’t think it comes easily to any of us! That’s because we’re good *storytellers*. And storytellers are *telling*! But we can practice and get good with showing.
I’m a believer that dialogue does move the scene and action along…absent, of course, too many tags….he said.
Best Regards, Galen.
Imagineering Fiction Blog
I like your suggestion for mixing the long and the short sentences. I’ve heard so much about short strong sentences it’s easy to forget that both are necessary.
I completely agree. Using dialogue livens up writing.
I’ve begun revising and every time I find a long narrative passage I see if I can use dialogue instead.
I’ve been working with a test reader to punch up my dialogue. So far we’ve come up with some pretty funny stuff, and it’s really helped the story as a whole!
Carol–Me too! Sometimes it grows on me.
Elspeth–That’s very true. But sounds too scary to put in a blog post. :) It does work,though–to cut that stuff out.
Galen–I don’t like tags either. But my editors keep editing them back in, so I must not put enough in to keep the dialogue from getting confusing.
Dorte–Killing people! That’s the best thing to do when things get dull…
Carolyn–And dialogue is a great way to slip in some information, too. And more interesting than narrative.
Debra–Recharging your batteries? A great idea!
Alex–I didn’t even mention humor! Good point. Humor can help a ton.
Good advice, thanks.