I was at the grocery store (again) yesterday before taking ten kids to my son’s 13th birthday paintball party. I was buying lots of chips and soft drinks.
I saw a woman in the produce section and had one of those “oh no” moments where I desperately tried to come up with her name. And this was someone I was supposed to know. Could I hide? Retreat into the dairy section? Shoot! She saw me…
Then suddenly it came to me. “Peggy!!” I said with delight. “How are you, Peggy? And Peggy….how is your son? Have y’all had a good spring break, Peggy?”
Because, if I’m that proud of myself for remembering a name, I’m by-golly going to overuse it like a maniac. Whereas she, after greeting me with a “Hi, Elizabeth” once, didn’t mention my name again. Clearly, she doesn’t have the same memory problems that I do.
I laughed at myself on the way back home, because overusing names is a dialogue problem I’m prone to. Before emailing my WIP to my editor, I make a pass to make sure the characters aren’t referring to each other by name multiple times in the course of a conversation. It’s a useful device for a writer because it eliminates the need for ‘said Johns’ during the section of dialogue.
But it’s just not natural. Ordinarily.
Do you have particular issues that you have to guard for and edit out? Mistakes you’re prone to make?
Ha! I have the same problem. My CPs have told me, “You don’t have to say their names every single bit of dialogue….”
Then again, I think I might do it in real life, too….
Elizabeth – I can sympathasize with your relief at remembering Peggy’s name. I’ve had that happen to me, too. It’s always embarrassing when you run into someone you’re supposed to know, and the name just…disappears.
As for writing? One mistake I have to be really on guard against is unexplained changes in characters’ temperaments and behaviors. If I have a character who’s shy, for instance, I sometimes catch myself letting that character be the one to, say, stand up to someone else. In reality, it takes a lot of provocation for a very shy person to stand up to someone, so I have to guard against temperament and behavior changes that I make just because it’s convenient.
My characters always seem to do a lot of smiling and nodding, like little puppets. Maybe I need them to “guffaw” more.
Since I constantly cut and paste for flow, I have to check dialogue tags, and also make sure the answer in paragraph 2 refers to the question asked in paragraph 1.
I think hubby and I go days without using our proper names, so any books that constantly have characters talking to each other and using their names (and I’ve read plenty that sound like your grocery-store encounter) really bug me. Make the effort to clarify speakers without that annoying crutch.
(I’ve got a dialogue handout on my website, where I touch upon this stuff.)
My issues are too numerous to mention in a comment, Elizabeth. They’d have to be their own blog post. Made me smile to visualize you overusing the name, so proud because you remembered. I’m in the category of remembering after the incident–way more embarrassing.
karen
I used to overuse ‘was.’ Now I’m always on the hunt for those pesky ‘ly’ words.
Using her name multiple times will help you remember!
Using words like “so” and “well.” I think we DO use them in conversation quite often, but they don’t read well in a book.
And I had this problem multiple times this pas weekend! I was at a women’s retreat and couldn’t remember people’s names for the life of me. And they were wearing nametags! I just wanted to remember them on my own…:( I blame mommy brain.
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
My fallback is to say ‘Hey!’ in a knowing, welcoming way and pray the name will suddenly pop up in my brain. This rarely happens.
My characters tend to have tight-lipped smiles. Most irritating. But the ‘name too many times’ syndrome is also present.
More editing is needed…
That’s funny you mention this b/c in my edits, someone pointed out I need to use names more. I think I was afraid of doing exactly what you’ve mentioned here. ;)
~ Wendy
There are always little quirks you have to go back and cut. I often find new writers (especially) writing characters who use each others’ names back and forth during a conversation when they’re the only two in the conversation. I think for new writers, they fear the reader will lose track of who’s speaking if a bit of dialogue isn’t tagged at least every other time they speak.
Helen
Straight From Hel
Carolina–It’s easy to do, isn’t it? I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Margot–It’s almost like the *pressure* of having to come up suddenly with a name is just too much for my brain!
And I know what you mean about assigning certain tasks in the story to people with particular personality traits. And you’re right… a shy or introverted person will just run away (I don’t like making waves. Usually. :) ) I do the same kind of thing when I write, too.
Diane–That’s what I was thinking! Now maybe I can remember the lady’s name the next time I see her. And I see her at least once every couple of weeks. I hope they invent a memory pill soon.
Alan–My characters seem to sigh a lot. I think some guffawing is in order…
Wendy–I have editors to put tags back in, too! Because after I go through and get rid of all the names from conversation, there aren’t enough tags!
Helen–I think you’re right. And it’s not necessary! I think, for me, it’s almost a place-holder so that *I* remember who’s talking while I pick up and put down my WIP a million times. :)
Very funny! I’m pretty good with names, I still remember people I went to middle school with.
My dialogue tags are in excess. Not the traditional “said” tags, but I’m wondering I should keep some of the conversations short and sweet.
That sounds like something I would do only it would end up being the wrong name that I’d insisted on calling her:)
I’m always trying to figure out a way to use proper names less. I also tend to overuse he/she. I guess I’m looking for a magic formula.
Haha I hate when that happens! The worst is when you actually can NOT, for the life of you, remember the person’s name and they remember yours. “Hi Julie!” And all I can say is “Hi!!!…. you.” There are so many mistakes I have to be on guard for, like overusing adverbs. But I think you can be TOO careful, as you proved with this post, because I’ve gone back during revisions and just realized that an adverb would really be useful sometimes and to not be afraid of putting one in when it’s called for.
I definitely have a few favorite words that I’ll over use if I’m not careful. When my manuscript is done I do a search for them and weed them out!
I love adverbs: quite, very, so, rather, really, etc. They’re a no-no, apparently, but I love them anyway! I also don’t use names enough, which can be really confusing during a scene with multiple characters!
I seem to love the word “that” at lot. And the words “quite” and “still”.
I found out I like to make my characters blond(e). Never notice until it was pointed out that I have 10 characters and 9 are blonde. No idea why. And there’s certain nothing wrong with blonds, unless you’re like me, and can’t figure if it’s blonde, or blond. Sigh.
Best, Galen.
Thanks to Marvin for helping me with this problem. I’m seriously guilty of overusing names. I can’t give enough credit to editors. They see our biases and weaknesses in our writing styles.
Stephen Tremp
Definitely. I think everyone has some crazy mistakes that litter their writings. I repeat words and tend to write too much dialogue. *Hangs head in shame*
I suck at names, too.
I try to watch my dialogue and cut out the excess. Less is more.
Terry–Ha! You and hubby are funny. Great link to dialogue help! Thanks.
Karen–That’s usually what I do, too. I was so lucky to come up with the name this time!
Michele–I use those a LOT in conversation, but I’m told they’re dull in our writing, so I skip it. Guess we’re not supposed to be too realistic!
Mommy brain…yes, I have that…
Jane–I’d like that magic formula, too!
Heather–I’ve got those, too. “Just” is a big one for me for some reason.
Laura–I love adverbs too. Shh! :) But I’ve learned not to use them, since my editor doesn’t feel the same way we do.
Elspeth–My strategy is to run and hide! Too frequently, though, this doesn’t work.
Sounds like you’ve got some uptight characters! Between their tight lips and my characters’ sighing, we’ve got quite a team.
Stephen–And they can pick up on it much quicker than we can, frequently!
Tamika–I wish I had your memory! I think long periods of dialogue is okay, as long as they serve a purpose.
E. Elle–Is there such a thing as too much dialogue? I might do that, too! :)
I’m on guard usually enough to avoid the name referral overuse in dialog, probably because it annoys me so much when I edit other authors, lol. What I have to watch out for is using my own pet names, like “precious” or “sweetie” for my characters’ pet names, and not paying close attention to who’s favorite pet name is what. If every character in the book uses the same pet names for their friends, loved ones, etc., it get a bit stupid and unbelievable. So to fix the problem I have a line item in my character journal where I notate what their favorite pet names, or quirky words they use, and refer to it if I don’t remember while writing in the WIP.
This is a good subject for a Professor Old Silly post, come to think of it .. (wink)
That’s so funny! I’m awful at remembering people’s names and go to great lengths not to use them in conversation. If I absolutely must say a name (and I’ve had to do this during a presentation at work), I mumble when I don’t know it, though I have stared blankly or gestured at the person in the audience, until someone else laughingly supplied their name.
As for my editing, I know I have lots of problems with certain things, but I can’t remember what they are right now :)
Julie–I smile and nod a lot! I guess everyone knows my memory is horrible. I have a hard time even with cousins’ names…
And you’re right! We can be so aware of it that we go too far in the other direction….
Marvin–I’m with you on that one! I’m Southern, so there are pet names GALORE. I need to go on a pet name diet. :) Yes, get Professor Old Silly to address our issue…
Kristen–I do a find/delete for ‘that.’ I like it, too!
Galen-I had 3 redheads in the last book until I changed it. What were we thinking?