by Chihuahua Zero, @chihuahuazero
Pick any ten writing blogs in the writing blogosphere, and I bet nine of them will say: “don’t use said-bookism!“
This is understandable. Excessive amounts of dialogue tags besides said and asked are often syndromes of an amateur. Pull up a random fan-fiction, and it’s likely there’s a dialogue tag like laughed or quipped or even the infamous ejaculated.
These types of words pop out and are clunky to the point of being distracting.
However…
Counter-Examples:
…like the good old “show, not tell” rule, the “don’t use said-bookism rule'” isn’t in effect 100% of the time. Or even 80%.
For instance, I used the Nicolas Flamel series as an example in one of my posts on dialogue tags. While it used the word murmured one too many times, it’s still a good series that has a decent amount of popularity. And despite its the almost total absence of dialogue tags, The Chronicle of Vladimir Tod slips some by when there are.
The Book Thief? I spotted a few mentions here and there.
Harry Potter? Slughorn ejaculated at Snape. Really.
Acceptable Uses:
Despite what advice you receive, you can say said-bookisms aren’t as poisonous as you might have presumed them to be. Sure, it’s lazy and overly colorful if you use a handful of them in one chapter, but or two don’t spoil the entire bunch.
You can argue that “just because many works use it, doesn’t mean it’s good”, but I don’t think it applies here. Said-bookisms are mostly a mechanical element. They’re not lazy plot device or cardboard characters. They’re only a link in a long, fictional chain.
There are some cases some borderline said-bookisms that can work. It’s safe to use shouted and whispered, to the point they’re accepted alongside said/ask. They’re volume indicators.
Some said-bookisms are awkward (like laughed and smiled), while there are some other sound tags that work based on context. For example, bark. Can a person bark a sentence? If you stretch the definition. Can you also howl, rasp, and bray? Your mileage may vary.
And in specific cases, like explained, admonished, and quipped:
- I’m guilty of overusing “explained.” “Explained” are among the words that I tend to overuse, and will certainly be on my edit list. But I think other writers had that same compelling feeling to add it in, and decided to keep them in.
- I actually saw “admonished” in an old collaboration project. I wanted to delete it due to being wordy, but they voted to keep it. They said that it elaborated the sentences meaning, even though it’s just a fancy word for “friendly explanation.” Thoughts.
- “Quipped?” Get back on me about that.
Why You Need to Know This:
The point is that like any type of story mechanic, said-bookisms aren’t 100% bad. They can be (and often are) misused and overused, but their presence doesn’t condemn a work.
One reason why it’s important to know this because over-thinking this can spoil your enjoyment of reading. It’s good to keep a critic’s mind open when reading, but for a few months, my mind kept seizing onto these words that my mind has long glazed over before several blogs pointed out that they were “bad.”
It wasn’t until I read a couple of fantastic works my mind dropped this peeve and filtered them.
So, put down that gun, and worry about something else.
Chihuahua is a young, aspiring writer who loves writing, reading, music, Chihuahuas and dark chocolate. CO can be found at Thoughts of a Young Aspiring Writer.
Blog Image—Flickr-By krazydad / jbum
I disagree that the words “laughed” and “smiled” are more awkward to use than “shouted”, “whispered”, “asked” or “said”, but words like “ejaculate” certainly are, especially with the gutter-minded readers of this day and age. It’s just my opinion, but those words still flow if you ask me. “Inquired” is one that distracts me, and “quipped” definitely has to be used in the right context for me to agree with it, but as you said, using said-bookisms isn’t always bad. There is an exception to every rule, and it’s a simple matter of not overdoing it if you don’t want to ruin your work.
Before I end a night of procrastinating on The Sims 3, I would like to thank you for hosting me!
Love the image, by the way!
Elizabeth – Thanks for hosting Chihuahua Zero.
Chihuahua Zero – You’ve called attention to a subtle but important part of good writing. I’ve read novels where “said bookisms” would have actually improved the writing. Really. Too many other colourful verbs can be distracting. But as you say, there are other way to describe someone’s speech besides said and asked. That’s why I love beta readers. When I fall into this trap, they always catch those things.
Thanks for coming by today, Chihuahua Zero! As I reader, I used to only notice said-bookisms when they were particularly egregious…where every single tag for pages had unusual tags. I’m mostly a said/ask person, but if I’m using a lot of dialogue, I’ll slip in a couple of more interesting words here and there. I enjoyed your post!
@Bonnee Crawford: Thanks for dropping by!
“Inquired” are one of those said bookisms I hadn’t seen often. I actually used to use it back in elementary school, but it just feels too awkward to use in my own story, so it just doesn’t pop up.
When I refer to “smiled” as a said bookism, I’m referring to when it is used after a sentence is spoken, and without a period involved.
For example: “Good luck, then,” smiled Amy. Technically, you can’t really “smile” words.
But this is valid Amy smiled. “Good luck then.”
I just forgot to go into that tiny topic.
@Margot Kinberg: To me, the basic “said bookisms” add some information in only one word (shouted, whispered, and possibly “lied”) while some of the slightly wordier ones are just cement in the narrative’s flow. Both are good in most cases, unless the ratio is skewed, or if one larger word is being overused.
Thinking about it, what do my beta readers think about this topic? I might ask about it once I set my story up for critiquing again.
I overused the colorful ones in the beginning and have since tapered back.
Can someone bark? Absolutely! They don’t call if barking orders for nothing.
I have to admit that, being not only a writer, but also a Russian transaltor, I struggle with it all the time. Russian writers use said-bookisms _a lot_, as it’s a much more emotional language. In virtually every line of dialogue, I have to face the same dilemma, whether to kill the author’s original Russian “quipped” or “inquired” or to leave it as is. I know that I’m only a translator, not an editor, but I also realize that handfuls of said-bookisms sound very funny in English.
So it’s a huge relief to know that I can leave a few :))) Thank you very much!
I personally find “said bookisms” to provide context for the way something is said. Like you just said in the comments, the single word can add information without needing a wordy explanation. But they can certainly be overdone if not careful.
Even “said” can be overused. I use whichever word seems to be called for, but I also don’t rely on “said” or any other verbal tag as the only way to indicate who is speaking. Sometimes that’s when “saidisms” get out of control. The author is desperately trying to come up with something different to say for marking and getting silly with the verbal tags just to keep people straight, when they could have left off the dialogue tag and given the speaker an action instead.
Jamie gripped the sides of the boat. “Row faster!”
Still works to convey who is speaking as well as mental state. We don’t need to be told how she said the words in this case. But sometimes a good dialogue verb works to clarify something that might still be unclear by the action. That’s when I use them (and keep them after first draft time).
@L. Diane Wolfe: That’s the context I’m thinking about. The imagery of an authority figure strutting their stuff.
However, I remember one notable case where a story I was critiquing used the word “barked” twice in a row…for both the sarg and the privates. Of course, I asked the person to cut one off, because that kind of repetition is awkward.
@GalaktioNova: Russian novels use tons of said bookisms? That’s something I didn’t know! Of course, other countries have their own convections for mechanics, so I guess some changes that like must be made when crossing borders. And yet again, it’s good to leave traces of the country’s novelists’ quirks.
As a general rule, I personally think the words said and asked should be at least half of the dialogue tags, although I’m yet to see anyone change that ratio.
I’m actually not a fan of the rigiding the ‘said’ rule is shoved at us. I mean i DO get it can pull us out of the story, but if used well, I think the chosen word can have a lot of information and make WHOLE SENTENCES unnecessary. I tend to frequently have a character who mutters. I used ‘squeaked’ now and then (short answers from scared people)
I use a few, but not many anymore. Since my characters are also telepathic, ‘thought’ replaces ‘said’ in those instances. So I try not to throw too many other words in the mix.
@Jaleh D: Ah, the art of using action tags in place of dialogue tags. I actually covered that in one of the articles I linked to, but I didn’t cover this topic because it’s too far from the main point of the post.
Unfortunately, action tags can’t be used 100% of the time. They can easily reduce pacing to a crawl if done too much, and sometimes the good old dialogue tag does its purpose well. The problem is how to achieve a balance.
@Hart Johnson: And that’s another point. Sometimes, one dialogue tag can convey more information than a sentence of description can. In those cases, they’re allowed to be noticed.
Do I use a “squeaked” in my own story? I can imagine at least one character who would dip toward that level.
@Alex J. Cavanaugh: Amusedly enough, my co-protagonists are telepathic. But since one of them happen to mess up big time when he tried to learn it, they don’t do it often.
However, in one of my earlier project (a fan-fic called Kira is Justice), two of my main characters used plenty of telepathy. A problem with it that it sometimes led to the “talking heads” problem, minus the talking. Not to mention I played with bold and italics much.
But I bet you found a way to handle it well.
Thanks for the post, Chihuahua.
I think the main thing for every writer to remember is that most dialog tags — unless they are just too silly or inappropriate to overlook — are invisible to the reader.
It can lead to a feeling of “clutter” in the overall prose. It can become too repetitive (read it aloud to check the effect), but sometimes you want to use repetitions for effect.
In the end, you give it some time so you can come back fresh, give it your best shot at editing, and don’t sweat it.
(Just watch out for the unintentional Tom Swifties — like “‘Don’t retaliate!’ he shot back.”)
@The Daring Novelist:
You’re welcome.
You’re right about dialogue tags potentially being clutter, especially if they’re longer and appear more often. I have a few reading experiences with that.
However, I’m still not personally sure about the whole “said being invisible” thing. My mind had adapted over time to just glaze over most dialogue tags, if they’re not meant to convey information, but…
When I said that tags are invisible, I didn’t mean to connect them to clutter. Actually, I meant the opposite:
Don’t worry about using too many of them, because they really are not intrusive to the reader. They only become a problem when they rise to the level of clutter, or they are so silly or inappropriate as to draw attention to themselves.
I’m reading something now that overuses “said”. Not only that, but the author more often than not uses it in a way that, to me, makes it stand out even more. Instead of, “Go here,” Jack said. The author writes, “Go here, said Jack.
@Helen Ginger: The whole “X said” or “said X” is one confusing topic. Personally, the latter sounds more formal than the first one, which I had seen more often, but more in present tense (do you think “says X” sounds natural?)
In my own mind, “X said” puts more emphasis on “X”, while “said X” puts more emphasis on “said”. I can understand your concern with that.
It’s another quirky author preference which I can’t say much on except the way it is parsed is one reason why it isn’t seen as often.
Dialogue tags and said bookisms are both complicated factors, where it’s up to the writer to find their own natural balance.
I think they work fine if they convey the sound – “yelled”, “rasped”, “barked”. But they should only ever give new information. If they really are redundant, it’s no good.