I had a conversation with my agent a couple of days ago that reminded me of something that happened at the pool this past summer. Y’all know by now that I spent most of my sweltering summer at the swimming pool with my kids.
This particular day, I was there with my daughter and her best friend. Since we were at the pool between noon and 3, I’d packed a lunch so that we didn’t have to buy the expensive pool snack-bar lunch.
I’d stuffed a motley assortment in the cooler—1 peanut butter, 1 ham, a couple of apples, some chips, some cookies, some water, some lemonade. The kids came out of the pool, plopped down at the table, took things out of the cooler, ate off the table, dropped things on the cement, called the “five second rule” and ate everything I’d brought.
I was writing my book for a few minutes while they laughed and talked with each other. Then I put my notebook down and I talked to them while they ate about people I noticed at the pool—I wondered about people and what they were doing and where they came from and made up little scenarios about them for fun. They both came up with some of their own ideas about their fellow pool-goers. They stuffed the food down their throats and hopped back into the pool. I started writing Memphis BBQ 3 again, and looked up from time to time to make sure no one was drowning (and that the lifeguards looked like they’re on top of things.)
Suddenly this other mom sat down at the table next to me and I felt like a complete Mommy Failure. “Wait! Don’t touch! Don’t touch!” she said to her kids. She took out wipes and proceeded to wipe down the table and chairs. Then she spread the red towel you see in the picture down as a tablecloth (yes, I’m afraid I take pictures with my phone of anything I find interesting. :) I scare people sometimes…)as the two cute preschool children looked on.
She unpacked a HOT lunch from her cooler (which, I guess, makes it really a “heater”). Then, while the children ate lunch, she talked to them about how to tell time…pointing out the analog clock and quizzing each of the kids. She was completely engaged, though, instead of being distracted and vague like I was. At the end of it, she talked about simple addition and subtraction as she put things in and out of the cooler.
Then she talked to them about general pool safety.
But… the kids I brought to the pool just ate a (fairly) healthy lunch. They were happy. I did visit with them, but I didn’t strain their brain or anything. They were having a good time.
I’d done it all differently from the other mom. But, I think, we came up with the same results. Except that my kids didn’t learn anything too academic from our exchange. Maybe they were more creative during it, though.
She was a good mom. I think I am, too. But we parent differently—although hopefully both of us end up with children who’ve been well-raised.
Writing is like this. There must be at least a hundred different ways to complete a manuscript. Who cares as long as we all make it to the finish line? And, yes, hearing someone else’s success story about using a particular method may make me rethink mine…but after all, shouldn’t we just go with what works for us?
I talked to my agent a couple of days ago. I’ve got something new that I’m going to start working on in the next month. Of course, I’m also putting the finishing touches on the third Memphis barbeque book.
“Good thing you can keep these storylines straight!” she said with a laugh. “That’s where outlining and thinking it all out in advance comes in, right?” She’d talked to this other author who did a lot of outlining.
I paused. “Actually, Ellen, I…don’t outline.”
“Oh. Oh! Okay.” She thought about this for a minute. “But mysteries are really kind of complicated, though. An outline wouldn’t help?” she asked.
“I think outlining kind of messes me up, actually. I just make everything up as I go along. My first drafts are awful, but the mysteries end up making sense after the revisions.”
I’m sure this sounds like a really disorganized way of writing a book…especially to someone who isn’t a writer.
And there are writers I know of who have great careers and use a totally different process than I do. But we both sell our books.
Whenever I start questioning myself and the way I write a book, I just remind myself that it doesn’t matter how we do it—it’s just important that we write. We all have different processes—but then, we all end up with different books.
Do you have a writing process that works for you?
When did I last tell you that I love you, Elizabeth. What you say is so true- people just do things differnetly. Doesn’t make one good and the other bad- they are just different. And what matters is whether you get there or not.
Elizabeth – Nothing in the world makes you second-guess yourself like being a parent!!! Good for you to know that what you did was right for your kids.
Writing is the same way in that sense, so thank you for the reminder. Everyone does develop her or his own way to write, and learns over time which things work and don’t. Each of us is different in that way. That’s why I love having so many different writer friends. Everyone’s a bit different, so I learn a lot of different ways to do things. Some work for me; some don’t. All are helpful, though.
I never used to use outlines, but I believe outlines start out as a good sense of direction for me. That said, during the course of the writing, I’m highly likely to drift off course from my original plans.
By the end of the revision process, what I originally planned and what I wind up with are nowhere near mirror images of the other.
I don’t outline either.
Don’t forget about the Halloween party on my blog.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, fantasy author
I was a mother like yourself, sandwiches and happiness for a picnic. My neighbours used to look at me as a walking horror show. My methods were totally off the cuff, unlike their organised lives.
Then the days of glory came, my daughter was announced head girl, son and D2 were head prefects, and all 3 went off to uni. Boy, did I get asked a lot of questions about how did I educate 3 happy go lucky children.
My response was always ‘I did it my way’.
How do I write? I do it SMY way…LOL
I have tried many methods. Now I just write and sort it out during edits. I envy those who are methodical.
Lovely post, thanks for sharing.
Do what works for you. I outline, but then I plan and organize everything in my life.
And I may be a bit of a clean freak, but that mom was anal!
Great post, Elizabeth. I was much more like the mom you described with my older daughter. Now that she is 6 and have I have an eight-month old, I find I am much more relaxed about the sanitizing and trying to make everything a learning experience. I think this comes from comfortability with being a parent and knowing you can mess up and still have a reasonable healthy well adjusted child. I would hope this attitude change happens with writing as well; I feel rather overwhelmed and out of my league now, but as I become more comfortable with the process, I hope to be able to go “more with the flow.”
I hope that mom was a home schooler because if not, I pito those children :D
I am sure I have mentioned it before, but nowadays I don´t begin writing until I have a fairly clear outline. I don´t have to follow it, but I want to know that my journey will end in some kind of murder mystery, not a fairy tale or a maze.
I just did a whole post on the pros and cons of outlining. http://bit.ly/c4bteo and I totally agree with you that there is no right or wrong way to do it, just advantages and disadvantages. And everybody has a slightly different system.
As usual, witty thoughtful post.
When I started writing seriously, I thought I’d be outlining and following a pattern, since I’m pretty organized in general. Turns out being organized doesn’t work at all for me when it comes to writing. Outlining was painful, like I was trying to fit a square pet into a round hole. I’ve learned that I need to just start writing, and like Glynis said, it sorts itself out in the end.
“Do you have a writing process that works for you?”
Nope.
Actually, it has changed from manuscript to manuscript. I guess I’m still looking for the perfect process.
I have to keep a general road-map, either in my head or on paper of my protagonist and how I want my story to go. I kind of mash-it-up and use some outlining (although an English instructor would die if they saw my methods) and some making it up as I go along.
One specific rule that I have is to always make use of the events I’ve established rather than going off on a tangent when a scene or chapter isn’t working. That rule enables me to layer the story.
Otherwise, I love reading about how other writers write. Everyone writes differently, but I never get tired of trying new things. Then I keep what works and toss the rest aside.
This is so funny to me… moms like that other one… you were nice and complimentary… they drive ME NUTS. I bet those kids are scheduled and paranoid. They will go out into the world later with great skills and a great resume and NO CLUE because they’ve never had to figure anything out for themselves… *cough*
Likewise… fussy, carefully molded literature strikes me as pretentious and bugs me… though I sometimes envy the breakout superstars… the ones that don’t become the equivalent of concert pianists or olympic athletes I feel just suffer for it.
I am more in between with the writing process, though. I really liked that story boarding process for the mystery, as mysteries have so many pieces that can’t fall out of the equation… but USUALLY I write with a timeline, as opposed to an outline…–the big punches. Seems to be working, mostly.
I’m always relieved when I hear a published author say she/he doesn’t outline :) Gives me hope!
I’ve got a general sense of who’s going to be in the book, different scenes, and an idea of how it’s going to end. If I try to do more, it’s wasted effort, since the book takes off on its own. I’m just the chronicler.
Outlines? We don’ need no stinkin’ outlines. I like to blast through draft one and then take my time with editing, usually going through it looking for different things each pass. You’re right. You have to go with what works.
I’m so happy to hear outlining is not critical. I begin a story with a vague idea of the characters, the beginning, middle and end. I fill in a character list and a timeline as I write my novel. One of the interesting things that happens is how the behavior of my characters evolves as I add more details about their personalities, backgrounds and passions. Sometimes this results in a radical change in the development of my story.
Thank you! I never outlined and wrote just fine, but I started reading that I “had to” by the “experts” and my writing became confused for a while. I finally chucked all the advice and write my own way. :)
Rayna–You are so sweet! Well, it took me a while to get to this point in my acceptance of the different writing styles. I do still feel a little insecure about it sometimes–like when I’m talking to people who don’t write (agent, editors, etc.) It doesn’t sound like a professional way to go about things..but as long as the output is professional, we’re in good shape!
Jeffrey–So your outline might almost be a brainstorming activiity–you’re giving yourself freedom to go off of the outline. I like that! :)
N. R.–Halloween party!! Knew I was forgetting something. Thanks for the reminder, Nancy.
Margot–Oh, gosh, I second-guess my parenting about every couple of hours. Bleh. Oh well, they seem like they’re doing okay. :)
And it’s nice to cobble together a writing process from hearing how it worked for other writers. I’ve definitely done that.
Glynis–There’s more than one way to raise a successful child! I love the way you raised yours! :)
And now I’ve got Sinatra in my head! Ha!
Alex–I thought so, too. :) Glad I’m not the only one. The antibacterial wipes made me roll my eyes–but her quizzes and structured conversation with her kids made me feel guilty! Mommy guilt is so hard to shake…
Ike–I think I sanitized pacifiers for my first-born, but I think my daughter ended up with a pacifier that had been waved in the air to clean it. :) Ahh…poor second borns! Yes, experience makes us more relaxed–and confident. I know I can totally screw up a manuscript that I’ve been PAID for–and then fix it. And not get into trouble. I think that gives me a freedom to fail–which helps me to actually succeed.
Mary Lou–Thanks for the link! I’ll check it out. There are definitely pros and cons to the different methods. I’m about to write a book from an outline that I was *asked* to write (I wouldn’t have outlined on my own). I have a feeling that it’s going to go really smoothly…but we’ll see what happens when I want to change direction with my story…and it’s not on the outline.
Teresa–Sounds like a good combination!
I like your rule–it keeps that fat from getting written in there, too.
Keep the good parts and toss the rest away! Very good idea.
Hart–The kids were VERY quiet! And very well-behaved. :) Much better-behaved than mine, actually–and they were only preschoolers! Ack! I felt a little bad for them. The mom was very young and very intense.
Yes! Timelines are good sometimes. I’m going to have to blog about my timeline problems. Maybe I’ll do that for tomorrow.
Dorte–I hoped so, too! I was kind of watching her with a horrified fascination. :)
I think it’s good to stick with what works! If outlining works, you should definitely do it.
Ingrid–It *does* work out in the end. I don’t know how, but it does–and I have faith in the process now.
Alan–I used to experiment more than I do now (my experiments were usually failures!)
KK–We can plan all we want, but the story goes its own way, sometimes.
JEFritz–No stinkin’ outlines for us! Besides, outlines take FOREVER to write. I wrote one 6 months ago (I was asked to) and it took me about as long as writing a first draft.
Jemi–I really hate to think ahead farther than the next day’s scene. :)
Nancy–That’s a great reason NOT to outline–to allow the characters to develop in a natural way. I actually admitted to my agent that I don’t know who the killer is until the end of the book. :) I might have scared her…
Laura–I think folks know right off the bat whether outlining works for them or not. I CAN outline–but only when I’m asked to by an editor to sell a proposal. And I’m miserable doing it!
I know many writers who outline and many who don’t. I outline but I would never force that upon anyone. Some are just not as creative when they are that way.
I think you’re a good mum, Elizabeth.
CD
Mothers like that make me feel like a #mommyfail too. But my germy kids are pretty darn healthy!
Anyway, I agree that we each have our own way of doing things. I need to do a loose outline, with plenty of room to fiddle and add. So far, that works for me.
Hi, great post! I am now following you! I invite you to follow me, I am Pioneer-Writer and SassyChic10 on here! :-)
Clarissa–It’s interesting to me to hear everyone’s process. It used to be that I was interested because I wanted to see if my process was “right.” Now, I think I like to incorporate little bits of others’ processes into my own and see if it helps things along.
And thanks! I have my days when I wonder…wish there were report cards for moms…
Julie–At least our germy kids will end up being immune to everything, right? :)
It’s such an individual thing, isn’t it? And once we know what works for us–we need to stick with it!
Natalie–Thanks! I’ve reciprocated. :)
That was a great example you had of the other mom there. It’s hard not to compare ourselves to other people or wonder if the outcome would be different–or even better–if we got there a different way. But that’s what makes it so great. That we’re all different and yet those outcomes are just as amazing.
I love plotting and it works so well for me that I can’t imagine going into a new story blind. But I love that others do it that way–actually it’s sort of fascinating to me :)
Cindy–I think that’s some of the allure of it–finding out different writers’ processes and seeing what could possibly be adapted to work for us! But I don’t seem to change my core way of writing a book anymore–it seems to work too well for me.
Great post, Elizabeth! I love how everything in life is a writing lesson for you. ;) I also think this advice could be applied to any situation–accept others for their choices and be happy with your own.