by Jodie Renner, freelance editor
@JodieRennerEd
You’re busy creating your story world with your right brain, rolling along with the great plot and developing your characters while your muse is buzzing. Great! But later, when you’ve got that first draft done, it’s important to switch to your left brain and go back and check for logistics, time sequencing, and continuity of character and setting details—or get someone else to do it for you.
And while you’re at it, verify your facts, to avoid annoying or even alienating your readers – and eroding your credibility. “But,” you say, “I’m writing fiction, so who cares about facts?” You should, because you want to create a credible world for your readers to be drawn into, and if an erroneous fact jars them out of it, they’re going to be disappointed and annoyed. Think about watching a movie about Ancient Rome and suddenly you notice a watch on one of the gladiators! The illusion of being caught up in their world is shattered.
If you’re writing a western, make sure the gun makes and models they use were invented by that period. And in a contemporary novel, don’t have a character in the 70s researching a topic on her home computer or emailing friends! I recently read a novel in which the (missing and assumed dead) mother of the protagonist had sent emails 20-25 years earlier! I think I personally started emailing around 1996 or ’97. How about you? Similarly, don’t have your everyday characters carrying around cell phones before the mid- to late-‘90s. Even today, there are large parts of North America with no cell phone service, so if your story is set in a remote area, be sure to check before having your characters use their mobile phones there.
In a historical fiction I edited a few years ago, a murderer was running from the police in England, around 1845. He headed to the port and spotted a lone man with a ticket for a passage across to New York. He lured him into a secluded area, stabbed him, and stole his ticket for the ship, which he boarded almost immediately. Arriving in America three or four weeks later, he was greeted by his uncle, whom he’d arranged to meet him at the pier. I immediately queried the author as to how the fugitive, who’d boarded the ship at the last minute, could have arranged for his uncle in America to be at the harbor to meet him? By telephone? The author admitted he hadn’t thought of that, and was grateful that I’d pointed it out.
Also, be aware of whether expressions were in use in the time frame or geographical region of your story. If you use a modern expression in a historical fiction, it jolts the reader out of that time period, and they’ll probably feel you did a shoddy job of recreating that world for them. For example, in a historical fiction I was editing that took place about 150 years ago, the term “upscale” was used. This struck me as out of place for that time, so I looked it up. Merriam-Webster lists “upscale” as first being used in 1966, so to even use it in narration in a historical fiction takes the reader out of that world. Same with the even more recent expression, “high-end” (coined around1977). For historical fiction, better to use “upper-class” or “elegant” or “sophisticated” or “affluent” or “wealthy.” A few other fairly recent expressions that would date a book set in the ‘50s to ‘80s would be “metrosexual” (Merriam-Webster says it was coined in 1994), “24/7” or the more recent “My bad.” Can you think of any words, terms or expressions that have jumped out at you as anachronistic in a book or movie set in the past, even 20 or 30 years ago?
And as a freelance editor, I constantly notice little errors like an amber necklace suddenly being called a sapphire necklace later in the evening; someone picking a daffodil from the garden in October, a wound in the forearm moving inexplicably to the hand; a character’s vehicle color, make or model changing; problems with dates and time sequencing; sudden changes in a character’s name, age, or appearance; inconsistencies with the season, climate or geography; and so on. I was editing a murder mystery several years ago where the victim had been shot in the head while he sat in his car (a single gunshot). Several chapters later, the autopsy was investigating his only wound—in his chest! And another where an apple tree in blossom became, the next morning, a tree bearing ripe apples! If errors like these aren’t picked up before your story is published, you can be sure that a number of readers will notice them and may lose confidence in you as a writer—and put down your story. Or worse, write a bad review of it on Amazon.
So if in doubt about facts in your story, take the time to look them up, or run your story past trusted readers before publication. Better yet, employ the services of a freelance editor, who will be on the lookout for incorrect information, discrepancies, and logic problems, and may query you with a comment like “Was this invented back then?” or “Did she just buy a new car? The one she had yesterday was a blue Toyota. Now she’s driving a Ford,” or “Who’s Ralph?” (That character whose name you changed.) The last thing you want is for your readers to say, “Oh, come on! This doesn’t make sense!” then toss the book aside.
How about you? As a reader, have you ever been jolted out of a story by something that didn’t make sense? As a writer or editor, have you noticed incongruities that needed to be fixed? Do you have any interesting or funny or absurd examples to share?
Jodie Renner is a freelance editor, specializing in suspense/thrillers, romantic suspense, mysteries and other crime fiction, as well as mainstream, YA, and historical fiction. For more information on Jodie’s editorial services, please visit her website at www.JodieRennerEditing.com.
Thanks for coming by today, Jodie! Jodie will be doing a series of monthly guest posts for me to look at writing from an editor’s point of view. I’m looking forward to them. :)
Image: Flickr: kylemacdonald/
Jodie, this post is very helpful. I HAVE noticed things out of sinc in books and movies. So many details, so many places to error.
Elizabeth, thanks for bringing Jodie to the platform.
Elizabeth – Thanks for hosting Jodie.
Jodie – You are so right about how important it is to do two kinds of fact-checking. I’ve read stories where one kind of fact-checking – story consistency – isn’t done and it pulls the reader right out of the story. And the other kind of fact-checking – research – makes a story that much more credible. Definitely an important part of what an author should do.
Great post. I read a popular novel the other day, and it featured a man who had a camel for a pet. Two pages after the camel was introduced, the narrative called it a donkey, then a few pages later it was a camel again. It totally pulled me out of the story, because obviously the pet had been a donkey in one of the previous versions, but then the author changed it but didn’t run a search to make sure all the references were fixed. Just a small error, but it made the writing noticeable, something we never want to do.
Angela Ackerman
Thanks, Elizabeth, for inviting me back to your excellent blog!
And thank you, Teresa and Margot for your comments. I know I’ve certainly been jarred out of a book by an inconsistency or temporal or logical impossibility, so I try to make sure that doesn’t happen in any of the novels I edit.
This kind of advice can never be repeated too often. I keep Google and Wikipedia ready while I write. The moment I’m adding a new element I’ve never used before, or if I become at all uncertain, I stop and do a little searching to be sure I’m using terms correctly. It just takes a little time to keep your facts straight.
These are great points. For me, it’s the names of the characters that mix me up. I can’t remember what names I’ve used in the story. Especially when writing mysteries, I have to remember the names of the suspects and the witness. So, I just keep a list on my Scrivener file and check it for repeats.
I read a book for a contest recently. The book was set in the current day; the protagonist was a photographer and she was using film. Bugged the heck out of me, especially in the context of her work; I did check with my son who’s a photographer to make sure that a person doing the same kind of photography as the protagonist wouldn’t be shooting film, and he agreed that film was totally wrong.
I run across this when I’m dealing with back list titles. How much to update, and how much to leave in, since the new copyright date will be current. I’ve added a preface to readers reminding them that the book is set several years in the past–and even that short time can make drastic differences when you’re dealing with technology. Heck, the technology in any book is probably out of date before the first draft is finished!
And I owe my editor for catching the fact that one of my characters didn’t have a cell phone, made a huge point of not having a cell phone because it would fry her brain, and then had the cops going through her cell phone call log toward the end of the book. I owe her big for that one!
I could go on and on … which I already have!
Terry
Terry’s Place
Timelines drive me nuts. I’ve learned to put a tentative timeline in my first draft outline. It tends to drift during the draft, but if I don’t know when the scene is supposed to take place, I stumble in the drafting.
First revision draft always includes fixing the timeline.
Jodie – although I agree that out-of-date technology is a problem, having to update an entire novel often means a total rewrite, especially when critical plot point revolve around the technology in question (and, as we’ve both noted, it can be out of date in the blink of an eye.) I only hope my readers look at the disclaimers in the preface I add to the indie re-release.
Terry
Terry’s Place
Good idea, Paul. I’m sure your readers appreciate your attention to detail and factual or historical accuracy.
Thanks, Clarissa. Scrivener is a great program for novelists, isn’t it! And of course if you decide to change a character’s name, be sure to use “Find and Replace” to make sure you’ve changed every occurrence of the old name! :-)
It’s all in the details, as they say. One glitch, even if it’s small, can jolt a reader out of your story. Writers can read and re-read their work and miss these kinds of things. We know our story and glide right over these kinds of mistakes.
Great post!
Angela, that’s hilarious about the camel turning into a donkey, then back to a camel again! Especially when “Find and Replace” is so easy to use!
And Terry, I’ve often read excellent novels that had become quickly dated because of fast-moving innovations in technology, adn I’ve wondered how much trouble it would be for the author to go in and update some of that stuff and re-issue the book? At the very least, couldn’t authors do quickly and easily with their e-book versions?
And kudos to your editor for catching that cell phone gaffe!
Helen, you’re so right about writers not seeing these things ourselves as we’re too close to our own work. That’s where trusted beta readers or a freelance editor can be invaluable!
PA Wilson, it seems a lot of my content editing involves catching timeline discrepancies, like two Saturdays in a row, enough stuff for a month being crammed into 3-4 days, no weekends mentioned, seasons lasting forever or being skipped over, etc. Makes me feel like my catches are valuable, though! :-)
thanks for hosting Jodie. I certainly picked up tons of great tips:)
Nutschell
http://www.thewritingnut.com
Thanks, Nutschell! ;-)
Terry, I see your point. As we have more and more authors publishing e-books, however, we may see individual e-novels getting updated a lot, even evolving over time!
Thanks so much again for posting here today, Jodie! I know, for me, that I have to always check for continuity errors (frequently what characters are wearing). It can really take a reader out of a story when there are mistakes like that!
Thanks for having me back, Elizabeth! It’s been a pleasure! See you all again on Monday August 6!
A constant fear. Even after editing, copyediting, and proofing. I hope all the major goofs are gone.
I totally agree with your post. One of my pet peeves is finding factual errors in a book and the author dismissing it by stating that it’s fiction. An author can lose credibility in a heartbeat and once it’s lost, it’s nearly impossible to get it back. With so many reputable websites (historical, geographical, political, etc) it’s easy to go the extra mile to check all your facts.
I just read a book where a boy from 1862 referred to another boy as a teenager. Yes, it takes you out of the story.
A source I use frequently is the etymology dictionary.
http://www.etymonline.com/ It’s extremely helpful when writing historical.
Thanks so much for the great post!
P.M and Dotti, I couldn’t agree more! It would be like hearing the term “empty nester” used in a book set in the ’40s. And it can be as simple as looking up the word in Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, which states (approximately, I assume) the year a word or term came into existence. I just looked up “empty nester” and it said 1962, which surprised me. I thought it would have come into common usage more recently than that.
I’m working now on a book set in the mid-1980’s, and even though it wasn’t that long ago and it’s a period I remember very well, I’m still running a pretty long list of things I’ll need to research to be sure they are appropriate to the era. I’m sure I’ll miss plenty, though. Sure hope I can find a good editor to work with…Jodie…
I’m working now on a book set in the mid-1980’s, and even though it wasn’t that long ago and it’s a period I remember very well, I’m still running a pretty long list of things I’ll need to research to be sure they are appropriate to the era. I’m sure I’ll miss plenty, though. Sure hope I can find a good editor to work with…Jodie…
Thanks for stopping by, Al. I’m looking forward to working on this thriller with you! I’ve got you penciled in for late summer or fall, as you mentioned. Hope I catch anything you miss!
Or is this the one you contacted me about? Didn’t you say something about a Cold-War era thriller? You write so many books I can’t keep track! LOL
And thanks for stopping by and commenting, Carol. The fact that you care and are watchful and diligent means you’ll have very little if anything to worry about, I’m sure.
I love the idea of checking Websters for when words or phrases began. Great tip!
Thankfully my beta readers and agent have caught this sort of stuff. I try to catch it all, but obviously I don’t!
Fantastic post! I’m writing in the present day, and I’ve noticed that technology changes so fast that I have to make changes with each new draft! I was using email in the ’80s, so a story set in 2012 with emails from 1987 doesn’t seem strange to me. I think to be realistic, though, the emails would have to be printed out. I can’t imagine that the old VAX email system I had in college is still being used.