‘Information dump’ is one of those terms that’s so descriptive, I could guess its meaning right away.
We can get information dumped on us as a reader in several different ways—in backstory (what happened before the story started), research (when an author is eager to share all the work he did with the reader…even when it’s not really necessary to the story), and even a descriptive dump about a character.
You know how it is…you’re writing and you’re probably trying to get this character clear in your mind and so you describe him. Ad nauseum. Here’s an info dump on Uriah Heep (pictured): He had orange, Tang-colored hair, a pointed chin, and a tall stature. His whole demeanor was suffocating and cloying in nature. His jerking, clumsy walk and repulsive manner was decidedly off-putting. He was tall and pale and his … blah, blah, blah.
The problem is that readers don’t really like to have a huge amount of information dumped on them all at one time. But gosh, it’s easy for us writers to pen it in. We’re trying to picture our character and want to recreate this picture for our readers.
At the same time, as a reader, I don’t like being introduced to a character and not have at least a general impression of him. Is he old or young? Is he educated? Attractive? What’s his relationship to the protagonist? If I can’t find out this information quickly, I start shuffling through the pages to try to find a description so I can at least have an idea who this guy is.
So…what can we do? What’s just the right amount of information and description and what’s the best way to share it with the reader?
The best method seems to be a combination of direct and indirect characterization. With direct characterization, you provide the reader with the information (this is the blond hair, blue eyes, devilish grin part.) Direct is the ‘telling’ approach. With indirect characterization, you let the reader draw their own conclusions: based on character dialogue, his internal musings shared with the reader, and other characters’ observations about him (the ‘showing approach.’ )
Showing is definitely the more time-consuming of the two, but I like it better. It’s a great way to mislead the reader, too—nice if you want to make them think a character should be admired and then later have the character’s true colors show.
How do you describe your characters?
Elizabeth – You are so right about character description dumps! No-one wants to read page after page of description. And yet, as you say, readers do want to get to know charaacters. I generally give out information as it’s relevant for the plot – little by little. It’s a bit like peeling an orange, if that makes sense…
Great post, E! Too much description can get overwhelming. But yes, breaking it up with direct and indirect (nice description of that, btw), can help.
I still tend to do info-dumps, particularly in first drafts, but try to work in a more integrated approach to character description. I think I’m at least aware now of where I’m dumping info and why I shouldn’t be doing it.
The character is ‘General.’ Example would Ranger from the Plum series. His description allows you to paint his portrait. Latin, brings to mind a certain image. An ex-ranger who eats healthy and works out regularly give us a physical picture. Dresses in black gives us mystery. Stephanie tells us he is very sexy. Sexy is in the mind of the reader.
A little description goes a very long way when it’s done right.
I’m with you for both ways. I like to “read” a character enough to get a better picture than “he was tall and handsome and sporting a goatee.” But I don’t need it too descriptive either. A basic look: “His chubby, blond cheeks lifted as his pale blue eyes squinted against the morning sunlight. Tanned piano fingers withdrew Raybans from his Dickies shirt, curving around his skinned head.” Something like that, to not only give me a physical description, but add to the character also.
In my writing, I try to give that mental image without being too exacting; to let the reader imagine who they want to see, within the basic outline. With the exception of age. That needs to be stated in the initial description.
Nothing worse than reading a young, outgoing attitude, only to find out the character is late middle age. My perception of the character drastically changes, and I may stop reading if that detail is too late.
Maybe my own quirk. We all have them.
…….dhole
I needed my ediors to point out my excessive data dump (thanks Marv). And boy was it excessive. I eliminated almost 8,000 words from my MS and lost nothing.
Stephen Tremp
I with the Old Silly (Marvin)I would rather be dumped on by showing me the character has blue eyes and Orange hair. It DOES take more thought.
PS I love this stuff. Makes me think.
PSS Don’t you love the name Uriah Heep?
Nothing frustrated me more than getting feedback from a contest judge who said, “I need to know what he/she looks like on page 1”.
Baloney–in Deep POV, if you’re true to your characters, they’re not stopping to think about themselves. Wait until there’s a reason for the description. And spare me from the ‘look in the mirror’ cliche.
I’m a minimalist when it comes to descriptions, so I try to avoid the “laundry list” approach. Best to give the reader what makes the character stand out as opposed to a paragraph or more of minutiae.
I can’t stand “data daumps” in a book. I consider it amateurish. I prefer to find out what color someone’s eyes are when another character says, “Oh I love the blue shirt you are wearing … matches your eyes.” – That sort of thing. Indirect is better. Some direct is okay, sometimes needed, but let the reader learn as the story goes along is my preference.
Marvin D Wilson
Oh, I hate Uriah Heep! What scum! grrrr. >:[
:D But good post – it’s so hard for me not to make descriptions sound like a police report. “Five nine, blonde hair, curls.” it’s icky. Luckily, I’m learning how to do better. :)
I aim for an 80/20 mix – mostly indirect but direct in small spoonfuls here and there. That’s what I prefer to read, too. Definitely no mirrors.
I try to show rather than tell and even then, only show what each character notices about each other or themselves.
As long as it doesn’t go on for more than a short paragraph, I’m fine with secondary characters having their physical appearance dumped in one shot.
As far as their character goes I’m fine with the long reveal, but I do like to get a handle on they way they look, especially if their character unspooling throughout the story defies my initial expectations.
Indirectly, as often as I can. I’m not one to describe my characters much anyway, beyond the barest essentials. Less work for me, and anyway the readers’ll form their own images even with very little to go on, won’t they? I prefer to let the reader do the work for me.
I think that makes me a bit lazy. I’m fine with that. :)
I tend to minimize physical descriptions of my protagonist, leaving the reader to fill in many of the blanks. When a character is secondary, or even tertiary, the descriptions are more prevalent, compensating for the lack of presence. For me – every feature described should offer come indication of the character’s personality, otherwise I’m wasting my reader’s time.
I’m so happy to see that things haven’t changed here! I always learn something here Elizabeth!
Oooh! And it’s so great to visit blogs again! CCP will be back online tomorrow and I can hardly wait! I’ve missed everyone so much!
I think both are key.
I don’t like ‘telling’ people what a person is like (in my writing) anymore than I like someone telling me what another person is like in real life.
Often people get it wrong. I like to determine character for myself.
If Jack honks his horn as soon as every light turns green, it says more about Jack then if someone told me, ‘Jack’s impatient.’
As authors, we may need to describe some of the physical descriptions but even that can be cleverly done.
Also, thank you, Elizabeth, for your kind words the other day. We still don’t have any word from the doctors as to the problem but hopefully soon.
CD
Great article, Elizabeth, and a great reminder. And you are so right about mixing up the characterization! Putting this into our weekly round-up!
“Description dump”
I love it. I’m stealing that.
I see this so, so, so often in my clients’ manuscripts. I wish they’d all read this blog post before sending me their manuscripts.
It really is a goldilocks zone kind of thing: novels that give us nothing to base our image on leave us emotionally indifferent to the character, while ones that description dump on us just turn us off. Bleah
Writers: remember that the only facets of your characters that actually need description are the ones that matter, somehow, to the plot. For those, do like Elizabeth said and find a way to SHOW them rather than just dumping them on us.
For the ones that don’t matter, Just. Don’t. Go. There. Let us fill in whatever details we want; if those details don’t matter to the story, there’s no harm in it. And here’s the tricky bit: whatever details we fill in for ourselves will be, to us, 100% believable because they came from us, not from you. If I imagine that the protagonist has red hair, that’s believable. Nobody had to convince me of it, because it came from myself.
Getting readers to invent their own personally-believable details is a fabulous technique for elevating the believability of your whole story. And yet, so often I see my clients tying themselves in knots trying to pin down even the most banal and irrelevant details.
I just finished re-reading Little Women, and each of the March sisters gets their own paragraph about their appearance and personality. I notice many older novels do this! But I don’t mind it, as long as it’s just a short paragraph and it’s interesting.
I prefer to describe my characters through action or dialogue. I like when novels do it that way, too, but sometimes I do have to go back and re-read to find out who’s who. The indirect approach can be tricky!
This is totally one of my pet peeves! I dislike long. long, long descriptive passages…just give me the essentials and I’m good.
I don’t need to know everything little thing the character is wearing!
I think the best way to avoid description dumps as a writer is to not ‘dump’ the description all in one spot. Weave it in and out of the story, so the image builds in the readers mind over time. Connect it to what they do and say, it is delivered more naturally that way.
Thanks for a great post!
I think I managed to balance it. After reading your description of the two ways to provide description and the examples, I think I was light on the telling and inserted just the right amount of showing.
Either that, or my readers will have no idea what my characters look like!
Margot–I think I’m always kind of horrified when I come across them because my memory is so bad–I’m thinking, “Do I need to remember this later? Is this it? Won’t there be anything to tell me more about this character later on in the story?”
Little by little, in dribbles works for me. :)
Maribeth–You’re absolutely right. Giving us little clues about the character makes me feel like I’m participating in the story and piecing it all together.
Donna–I think sometimes, as a reader, that I’ll just get a mental image of the character on my own–they’ll remind me of someone I know or someone in the movies, etc. So I won’t even go by the author’s description. BUT–I’m like you…I want to know if they’re young or older.
Stephen–Wow! 8,000 is an amazing amount to cut! Good thing it didn’t mess up your plot at all.
Carolina–It is kind of overwhelming, isn’t it?
Cassandra–You know, I do the same thing. The first draft is where I’m sticking in my personal notes on the character. And then I go back in later and take it out, or scatter it, or let the reader know about the character’s looks in other ways.
Marvin–I’m like you. I don’t want to be told, as if I’ve got to get an exact mental image of the character. Just a vague idea of how they look is enough for me. I feel the same way about the setting.
Journaling Woman–Uriah was the BEST name. What a great, annoying, character he was!
Bethany Elizabeth–“I’d umbly ask you to reconsider, Miss Bethany Elizabeth. But only because I’m so umble.” :) Yeah, SUCH a cloying, annoying character…pure genius from Dickens!
Hughes–I like to know a little bit. I do like to know the character’s age and probably if they’re attractive or homely (this usually seems to affect how other characters interact with them, if there’ll be a love interest, etc.) Isn’t that terrible to write, though? I don’t think I care about looks as a person, but I do with my characters.
Terry–Who are these judges?!?
Simon–And the reader will come up with their own mental image of the character, anyway! I always do that. A character will remind me of someone I know (just by their manner of speech, etc.) I’m lazy that way, too–description isn’t fun for me…either of characters or setting. I always have to work at it.
Café Lopez–Very good point. There should be a tie-in to the character’s personality. Smile lines on the face equal a happy character, etc.
Crystal! I’m so glad you’re back and feeling better. I’ll be popping by to visit you at your blog! :) I’ve missed you, too.
Ralfast–That’s so true–we’re limited by word count and need to make every word count. Do we really care to know exactly what the character looks like? Or would the reader be better served to learn about the character by his behavior. etc.
Clarissa–We like to be independent readers, don’t we? And I feel a lot more engaged with a story when I’m piecing together clues about a character–like Jack’s impatience.
I hope you’ll find out some news soon. The waiting is just the WORST part. I can’t wait until medical technology gets fast enough so we can get immediate results..right then…on tests.
Carol–Oh, mirrors! Yeah, how many times have we read about those?!
Adventures in Children’s Publishing–Aren’t you sweet! And you’ll be on my Twitterific, of course…I’ve tweeted at least 2 or 3 of your posts this week.
Elspeth–I love characters that gossip about each other and reveal things about the people they’re talking about!
Jason–Just a little vague sketch is really plenty, isn’t it? And do I *need* to know the character’s teeth are white? Does it matter to the story? :) It better not!
I’m *always* disatisfied, as a reader, when a movie is made of a book I’ve read. That’s because I’ve pictured the character a particular way in my head (and often I’ve completely made it up and the character probably looks nothing like the way its author envisioned it) and now the character looks totally different on the big screen.
I think we should put most of the work on the reader. :) Just give them enough to get started. If they’ve invested enough in the story to come up with a mental picture of my character, I’m *delighted*.
Laura–I’d forgotten that! Now that you mention it, I completely remember that Alcott did that. I’m sure a ton of other older novels did, too. I kind of expect it in books from that era. But it sure bothers me in modern novels!
Julie–The characters’ clothing! I never read those passages when I’m reading a novel. I’ll do something really vague when I’m writing for that reason–and only to show that one character wears designer clothes and one wears sweats to the same event..that kind of thing. Just the basics are good, and weaving it into the plot over the course of the novel works really well, I think.
Alex–Wouldn’t bother me! You could just call one character “an attractive teen” and I could take that and run with it, as a reader. :)
I’m trying to show more… it’s worth it! And it’s stretching as a writer.
I tend to ignore the descriptions a lot of the time. I actually have to go back in and add.
Obviously I’m a fan of using my own imagination when I’m reading too :)
That’s something I got better at over time. I like knowing what characters look like – you saw my post today! – but it’s a tough balancing act.
I am a person who would rather TOTALLY use my imagination than be told ANY of it–I don’t mind single words here and there. My character can muse a little, “though she was small, she had always been strong”, or make observations “the A cut dress hid that her thighs were too big”–and I like the MC contrasting herself to others if it isn’t excessive (and if the things she observes give insight into her personality) but MOSTLY I like it through interactions– “that blue really brings out your eyes.”
Any description that is author telling and I roll my eyes. I especially hate repetition.
recently though, at Wagging Tales, Charmaine posted some stuff I LOVED–things about appearance as contrast, “Though she had X, Y, and Z, she would never be as pretty as her mother, or so people told her”–giving her both BEAUTY and a sense of INFERIORITY that tells a ton about the character very quickly–I like that it gives personality, thereby a REASON to have described appearances.
That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.
I am frustrated by books where I can’t get a clear picture of a character in my head early on in the story – I don’t want a dump but I do want some hints. I like to think I use the showing approach more than the telling, but I probably use both methods equally.
Showing definitely takes a lot more work, but if done right it’s just a better read.
I think in the beginning of “The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie” by Alan Bradley he shows the character skipping down a hall and mentions her braids. He didn’t come right out and say Flavia is 11 right then, I don’t think. It was a great example of description yet also characterization.
Good post!
I tend to give bare description in the beginning, then show the character through actions, thoughts, and dialogue, and through the eyes of others.
Straight From Hel
I tend to do all “show,” with an extremely tight point of view. On the other hand, I do try to put the character in an interactive situation where he/she can demonstrate physical characteristics in contrast with other characters. I also like to do point of view shifts so I can show characters’ perceptions of one another’s appearance and behavior.
We do tend to put way too much description down in our first drafts, because we’re building up the world for ourselves, and most of that can be cut out in the edit.
I’m really derelict in my character descriptions, though. I skim through hair color, eye, color etc. when reading, and so I never bother to mention any of that about my own characters, wanting to spare others that grind. I’m not sure I even have a clear image of their looks in my mind–only their personalities and actions. I think that’s what’s most important anyway.
Yep, I don’t care for info dumps either. And especially when they creep into my own writing. I like to show my character through action and dialogue. Thanks for the reminder.
Diane–I think *knowing* is different from *sharing*, though. I do like to know what my characters look like. But I might share only little bits of what I’ve come up with.
Hart–Well, and we’re writers! So naturally we prefer our imagination. :) I’m with you..give me the basic details and let me dream up the rest.
That’s really nice..so you get the visual, but more than that…some of the personality and the dynamics between characters.
Jane–Well, and that’s true, too. I do like the basics…how old are they?, etc.
Lisa–I love it! And then the reader has this great mental image of this child. His book is on my TBR list.
Helen–Sounds, according to this group, like the best way to go.
Juliette–I think it’s fun to see what other characters think of the protagonist, etc. Almost like gossip…but with none of the guilt. :)
Kristen–Always fun to have a challenge.:) And it’s something that we’ll use for the rest of our writing career, too.
Jemi–They’re definitely not my favorite part, either!
Kathi–Thanks for coming by! It’s easy to lapse into dumps..especially in a 1st draft.
Great post, Elizabeth! I write lots of notes down about my characters before I start writing. It gives me a chance to get to know them before they start their adventures. Some of the notes never make it to my manuscripts, but I needed to know that stuff about the character to help the story progress…
Right now, my descriptions are usually on the extremes, generally on the side of over-sparse. Not surprising for a first draft. But I do have a few I’m happy with, and they’re all indirect.
Another thing to consider… and forgive me if anyone already posted this (so many lovely comments). But any description should come naturally from the character. If it’s a man (no offense intended) it’s going to direct and to the point most often. I was rereading Key of Light from Nora and while she does describe the heroine’s obsession for material things it’s the hero’s initial react that is compelling. He cuts through it all and just calls her pretty. A very honest reaction. When I meet someone I’m noticing their appearance because I’m a writer, but I’m more about the reactions and demeanor. Sometimes right… sometimes wrong. I tend to be so much against the description dump that I once sent my book off to the editor and didn’t realize that I hadn’t named the hero through the first chapter. Talk about cutting to the quick! But we had a good laugh about it.