Do you know how you have so much going on and there are small things that you mean to check on, but they slip through the cracks? Then you remember them again…then you forget them again…then you finally act on them.
I’m going to be vague here because I don’t want anyone losing their job over this.
My daughter goes to a particular activity that I drop her off for. At one point during this activity, she goes to a cafeteria for a snack. I do also pack a snack, but there are other things in the cafeteria that she’d like to eat from time to time.
This is the money-free 21st century, so she has a PIN code to punch in to pay for the snack in the cafeteria. I keep $25 in the account for her snacks.
About a month ago, she told me she’d forgotten her PIN. And, apparently, my house had eaten the piece of paper that the PIN was originally on. “Ask the cafeteria lady to look you up on her printout,” I said.
Several times during the last month I remembered to ask her if she’d gotten her PIN. “The lady says she can’t find me. I’m not in her book,” said my daughter with a The Grown-Up-Has-Spoken air.
I continued getting frustrated about this. I’ve put $25 in an account that no one can access?!
Finally, on Wednesday, after about a month of this, I decided to go to the cafeteria myself. I would help find the missing PIN.
I walked up, smiling, to the lady. I quickly explained the situation. “So let’s look up her number real quick,” I said briskly, nodding at the binder next to her.
She looked at me with a terrified face that froze me, although I didn’t understand why she was frightened. “Her last name?” she asked.
“Craig.”
“Starting with the letter….?”
“C.”
She opened the binder and flipped through the pages. She was in the Ps.
I was really puzzled now. “I’m sorry…it’s Craig. With a C.”
Again the scared look.
She carefully found the Cs and ran a finger down the page of CAs.
“It’s not here,” she said, looking at me.
If she’d turned a gun on me, I wouldn’t have been more shocked. She couldn’t read.
She wasn’t an English as a Second Language citizen. She was a native. And she was at least 45 years old. And she was functionally, if not completely, illiterate.
And I found that completely chilling.
“You know?” I said, “These printouts sometimes list folks all crazy and out of order. Could I…?” She handed me the binder, I found the CRs, and jotted down the PIN. As nice as I tried to be, we shared a look that meant that SHE knew that I knew that she couldn’t read. And that she’d been telling my daughter for a month that her name wasn’t in that binder to cover up for the fact.
I didn’t sleep well that night. I couldn’t imagine a world without books. My life revolves around books and writing. If I have any extra snippets of time, I’ve got my face in a book.
I know that Terry Odell is a literacy volunteer and my hat’s off to her. She’s opening up a new world to her students. One day, when I’m done volunteering for my children’s groups, I’d like to promote literacy and volunteer, too.
With all the talk and controversy of e-books versus printed books…what really matters is the reading. It’s the escape it provides and the worlds it opens up for us. Reading is the ultimate entertainment.
God help those of us who aren’t able to share in the pleasure.
It’s a shame that with all the advances we’ve made there are still people who can’t read. We seem to forget that from time to time. I can’t image not reading. They are missing out on so much. It’s heart breaking.
How has she even been able to get a job without being able to read? Aren’t there forms to be filled out? Papers to sign? Written directions to follow?
And how does she go through life outside her job? How does she get froom A to B when she can’t read a map, can’t read a bus table, can’t read any road signs? I don’t think I am capable of understanding how that would even work in the 21st century, particularly in a country like the US.
Thanks for sharing this powerful story with us, Elizabeth! Thinking like a reader/writer, though, I find it hard not to spin the yarn further, imagining how she would eventually learn how to read and that this would change her life completely. Like Rayna, I thought of “The Reader” (that I haven’t read, I’ve only seen the movie).
I can’t imagine not being able to read. I’m sure this woman gets by in the world. It’s kind of like someone couldn’t imagine being deaf, unless they were.
This just had chills running up my spine. Maybe because books were my escape growing up and writing is a life line for me. (Hugs)Indigo
I consider being able to read and write more advantageous to athletic ability, and for being a guy this is really making a statement. I could trip over my own shadow. But darn it, I can read.
Stephen Tremp
Elizabeth – What a sad story about that employee! I’m really haunted by it! The fact is, though, that millions of people are in that situation. To everyone, I recommend reading Jonathan Kozol’s excellent Illiterate America, which treats this chilling theme. THe book discusses the problem and gives some very positive and hopeful ideas for helping share the world of reading with everyone.
One of the worst things I can imagine (actually, I can’t even start to imagine it) is not being able to read.
Forget being bookless (and a worse hell I can’t imagine, but some people do seem to get by without books), how can a person even survive without the ability to read words?
Reminds me of the last book I read, The Reader (the same one made into a movie) – I was so disturbed at the end of it, that I sort of went off books, and have been off books for eight days now.
This is a very sad reality. Some of the population that cannot read are older Americans. I too have thought about this and how not being able to read limits your entire world.
I feel sorry for the woman – it must be incredibly difficult for her – and she’d be terrified of losing her job. My guess is she’s dyslexic or has another learning disability. At her age, the school systems knew little if anything about those issues. Sad.
What struck me about this post was your kindness and generousity. I think I’d have gone in there breathing fire, ready to stomp on a certain lunch lady, but you were sensitive and kind.
This is so thought-provoking!
I wonder whether you have read Ruth Rendell´s fantastic novel about a woman who is illiterate and what lenghts it drives her to. It made such an impression on me and made me think about what it meant to a grown-up person not to be able to read at all.
Indigo–It really did upset me…I was completely stunned. You know how you *think* you’re handling a particular problem and suddenly you unearth a different problem. She just looked so panicked and I was so bewildered. It was very disturbing.
Mason–I don’t honestly think I even THOUGHT about it. To me, basic literacy was just a given here in the US. I knew literacy work was going on, but…
Stephen–Very true. Because even athletes get older and can’t play…but we can continue reading our whole lives.
Rayna–That was a VERY disturbing movie…haven’t read the book. It was one of those films where I thought my discomfort would stop, but it continued through the whole film–discomfort at the inappropriate relationship,
discomfort at the woman’s illiteracy and her pride, and…the rest of the story, which I won’t share as a spoiler here. Very disturbing to me.
Karen–I think it’s because she was a cafeteria lady who worked the cash register and I feel bad for people with hard jobs. If she’d been the cafeteria *manager* I’d *definitely* have been more irritated going in.
Cruella–I’ve thought about that, too. I think what she must have done is taken the papers home to fill out. She’s got to have someone who helps her (enables her is maybe the better term?) to do basic things. I’m guessing she’s memorized how to make her signature…when I worked at the bank years ago I did occasionally come across illiterate adults but they had their signature downpat.
I wonder how her story will continue, too. She has such a tremendous handicap and has been covering her inability up for SO many years.
I have a hard time imagining not being able to read. The closest I can come is with looking at foreign languages that use a completely different writing system like Chinese and Arabic. That and trying to imagine losing my eyesight. Scary.
Puberty (and a new school) was traumatizing enough. If I hadn’t been able to read my way to an escape from loneliness, I don’t know what I would have done.
Hello Elizabeth,
I came through The Old Silly’s Free Spirit Blog after reading Marvin’s post about you.
Like KarenG, I am impressed with the way you handled the situation. Thank goodness that you were able recognize the woman’s inability to read right then and there. I don’t like to even imagine what I would have done in a similar situation. I’m glad that it happened to you and not to me.
However, if, in the future something similar would happen to me, I’ll try to behave myself and handle the situation as you have done.
I’ve learned a wonderful lesson today. I now know that this was the reason that had compelled me to come to your blog site today. Marvin’s post was only instrumental.
Thanks,
Tasha
That is stunning. I feel for this woman. You treated her so kindly and that speaks well of you. I cannot imagine life without words, books, letters–
Wow.
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
That is a scary thought. Can’t imagine not being able to read.
Hate to say it, but someone should be told the woman can’t read. How many other kids are missing a meal because she can’t find their name?
My heart aches for this woman. The guilt and shame of not knowing how to read, the enormous effort she makes to cover it up, the constant fear of being “found out.” I cannot stop weeping. It’s like the scene in “A League of their own,” when Shirley Baker is looking at the team lists and can’t even read her name to know if she made it, but doesn’t want to admit it. And, oh, how these people suffer with self-esteem problems. I’m buying that book, Margot. I remember writing about this topic in college. I’ll pray that she gets the kind and gentle help that she needs. Amen.
After I learned to read in elementary school my books became constant companions. I don’t ever remember my mother reading a book. She dropped out of school early and wasn’t a good reader when she left, so she has used that excuse for over 50 years. The thing that baffles me is she has never tried to improve her skills.
It’s terrible! My husband used to teach adults how to read & write through our local community college. Most just wanted to be able to get a better job or read their Bible.
Did you know the illiteracy rate in NC is one of the highest in the nation? 27% or so.
My husband is severely dyslexic and he’s illiterate. He lives in terror of being asked to deal with the written word like that lady. He’s forced to take jobs where he can avoid it as much as possible, but the horrible irony is that dyslexics are extremely intelligent. They’re trapped in a world without the means of expressing themselves. My husband loves books, so I read aloud, and he listens to books on tape. He helps me write through discussing and me reading bits aloud to him (he hears the flow of a good sentence). He can write through voice recognition software, but its not all that easy, and he can’t take it with him. You have no idea how scary it is for him to go to a train station and look up where he needs to go. Even ordering food on a menu is impossible. It affects his life in every way, and it is so tragic, because I know how brilliant he is and he could do great things if only he could read. I feel sorry for the lunch lady. She’s probably doing a job way below her IQ, rotting in that place, but there’s nothing we can do until dyslexia can be ‘fixed’ (though I don’t believe in that–it’s 20% of the population, with varying levels of severity, so it a natural variant of human) or until technology and society tries to accomodate these people.
Strangely, I was never shocked by it–I fell in love with my husband before I learned he was dyslexic, and when I realized what his life was like, I decided to do everything I could to make it better, but I never saw him as a person any different from before.
Sorry, I just read everyone’s comments and had to add extra information, because dyslexia is such an important and life affecting topic for me.
Dyslexics feel horrible fear and shame, but the severe ones, like my husband, CANNOT PHYSICALLY LEARN TO READ. They aren’t lazy or not trying. Their brains are just not wired to deal with written symbols (phonological decoding deficiency). They work hard to survive, and thank god there are ant-discrimination laws against people with disabilities in most countries. Those laws require readers and scribes be supplied for dyslexics in college, so they can get an education, and whenever they take tests, like driving tests. Road signs are actually pictures, so dyslexics do just fine driving. To me, the crime is that more isn’t done to help dyslexics perform in the workplace, more computer assistance with text-to-speech etc. They are incredibly intelligent people and should not be forced to do menial labor jobs–it atrophies their soul. Sometimes, there are great success stories where dyslexics get lucky and make their way around reading, using abiliies that are masked by the reading problem: Richard Branson, Charles Scwabb, Tom Cruise, Kiera Knightly, Picasso, Leonardo da Vinci…all were dyslexic, but beat the odds. I’d like to see society help more dyslexics improve their chances at success.
As chilling as the Reader was, try to imagine someone loving books and trying with all their might to learn to read but still not being able to do it.
(hope I didn’t come off as rude. Just feeling a bit passionate.)
How sad and terrifying. Not being able to read would be like not being able to breathe for me. I think the main problem is that people are ashamed and they shouldn’t be. It’s the shame that keeps them from learning how to read. There is no shame in not knowing how, there IS shame in hurting others because you won’t learn though.
Jaleh–That’s what I’m thinking it must be like. Most of us probably can’t even remember not being able to read. I’m pretty sure I could read fairly well in preschool. And books really got me THROUGH difficult years (especially middle school/high school.) I can’t imagine not having them.
Tasha–I’m so glad you came by! Thanks for visiting and commenting.
It was a really challenging situation to be in…I think I still feel challenged by it and not sure if there’s anything further I should do. She was just so frightened and I was so perplexed…the situation could have been much worse if it had been one of the days when I’m not wearing my Thinking Cap.
Margot–I’ll check it out at the library today.
Teresa–I’d imagine it would definitely be a problem with older adults–the schools have now gotten better about literacy programs and are not participating in social promotion as much.
Alex–My husband said the same thing. His point was that not every family was available during the day to straighten out the problem if it happened to their child. I just…I don’t know. I’m not sure the best way to handle it. My husband pointed out that there should be other positions within the cafeteria that didn’t require reading…but that dealing with the children who were checking out food *did* require it–and that she wasn’t qualified for the job and the children weren’t mature enough to solve the problem on their own (my daughter never asked to look at the binder…she’d have been able to alphabetically find her own name from the list.) But what if there *isn’t* another job there at the cafeteria? So I don’t know. I’ve been mulling it over.
Jemi–And the schools back then probably just kept automatically graduating her to the next grade level. These days there are EOG tests that would make that social promotion impossible.
Mary–It was like she had this horrible secret. I’m getting the book Margot recommends, too…I’m clearly really behind on my knowledge of how far this problem stretches.
Diane–I had NO idea the percentage was that high. It makes me wonder if I’ve run into other illiterate adults and just didn’t realize it. I can’t imagine the limitations of having to look for a job where it didn’t matter that you couldn’t read.
Heather–She was completely embarrassed and you’re right…it’s the embarrassment and shame that could keep someone from seeking help.
Dorte–I *have* read Rendell’s book, although it’s been a couple of years now. I’d forgotten that! She does such a great job with the psychological side of her books. I can imagine how desperate someone could feel. It’s not a good secret to have.
“Reading is the ultimate entertainment.”
Yup, and that’s why a movie rarely comes close to creating the world a classic book can. The imagination is greater than any film technology we have … and I’ve seen Avatar.
Marvin D Wilson
Elizabeth – this is a much more common problem than most of us avid readers and writers can comprehend. I’ve volunteered for the Adult Literacy League in Orlando for almost 2 decades. The inability to read, or have basic comprehension is a major problem, and not just for non-English speakers.
I plan to try to hook up with a program once I settle in Colorado, and I strongly urge your readers to become part of the solution.
And, I’ll add Stephen J. Cannell to the list of dyslexics. He just spoke at SleuthFest. Amazing that he’s a writer of so many hit tv shows as well as fiction.
Elizabeth, glad you understand. I’ll get off my soapbox now :) I think I get more worked up than my hubby about it sometimes. He prefers not to be defined by what he can’t do, but focus on his talents instead–like art.
I love the straight-forward and compassionate way you worked with this, Elizabeth. I believe this is far more common than we would give countenance to and it is such a shaming thing in our society that the problem doesn’t get solved – it goes underground. People get amazingly adept at covering it up which of course is harder than learning to read but how can you explain that to someone? What if everyone who reads and maybe writes decided they would volunteer even if they just taught one person to read – what a massive change that would be. I’m in – I’m going to find the local volunteer program right now.
Thanks for your important post.
Marvin–I feel that way, too! :)
Michele–I couldn’t imagine it either…and how frightened she was. I felt so sorry that she had to deal with it every day..it’s a problem that’s got to be so consuming.
Janel–And it’s so sad at how much she’s missed out on!
Jan–I think it must be a lot more prevalent than I ever suspected. And, after reading Lorel’s comment, I wonder how much *can* be done–depending on the individual learning. I’m guessing there would be some individuals who could learn fairly easily, some who could perhaps learn to at least recognize some words or phrases? And then maybe another group all together that isn’t able to learn at all.
Lorel–You’re not being rude! And you’ve done a great job giving us some background and education on dyslexia…it’s definitely not an area that most of us know anything about. As an actual *disability* it makes it so much more understandable…for me, at least. The problem, as you pointed out, is that there wasn’t a way for her to do her job the way the job was set up. Maybe if there was a voice recognition-type software where someone could say a name and then have the name and number come up on the screen? I’m not sure. There was definitely a breakdown in the process there…and you’re right again–it likely wasn’t a good choice of job for her. So many different jobs rely on reading and I’m guessing so few are equipped to deal with someone with a reading disability.
Lorel, I think it’s absolutely horrible that your husband isn’t able to find a fulfilling job! It seems like there should be something better out there–something creative? I know you’ve both probably been looking for something better for ages. That’s really, really hard. I’ll be thinking on my end…it just seems like there should be SOMEthing that would fit the bill.
I can only imagine how frightening it could be for him sometimes. That’s really, really hard.
I have learned so much from this post and the comments. I will find and read the book Margot suggested. Loren, thanks for the lessons on dyslexia…I had been truly ignorant of its extent and impact.
My mother-in-law is having vision and hearing problems and can neither read or listen to books on tape. I ache for her, but to imagine a lifetime of fear of discovery and not being able to read is truly horrifying.
Wow. It is so scary to me that people come through the system… because SURELY she came through the system… she may not have finished high school, but she AT LEAST went to school through age 16, and she fell through ALL those cracks.
I did a research project in Detroit several years ago and encountered an 8th grader who I suspect couldn’t read–I know it happens. But it is SO SAD and SO SCARY that it happens. And people who can’t read definitely have WORLDS of not only literature, but opportunity slammed in their faces.
Wow, crazy story. I can’t understand how she didn’t think this would become an issue, but then, maybe she did and didn’t know what to do. She has probably lived her whole life in fear that her secret would get out.
I can’t imagine getting through life without being able to read. Maybe, someone will step up to the plate and teach her how. Perhaps, one of the kids (discreetly, if necessary) – that would be an inspiring ending!
I just wanted to chime in, too, on how graciously I thought you handled that. Very tactful and kind! Illiteracy statistics just make me so sad. There’s no excuse for that in this country … you would THINK. As if it didn’t make me sad enough when I mention reading to someone and they tell me they have never sat and read a book … not being able to read at all? To not even know the alphabet? Tragic.
Terry–I think maybe that it’s hard for those of us whose lives are centered around books to imagine. Maybe because it would be the WORST thing that could happen to us…thanks so much to you and Lorel for filling us all in on the scope of the problem.
Kathy– I’ve learned a lot, too, which is definitely one reason I wrote this post–I felt so much like it was an area I was so ignorant of.
Your poor mother in law! I don’t know what I’d do…no books on tape, no way to read books. That would be so hard.
Terry –Amazing! I didn’t know that about Stephen Cannell.
Hart–She was completely failed by the system. Absolutely let down in every way! And you’re so right…the opportunities lost is just wrenching, too.
Deb–I think Jemi mentioned that there is so much more help in the schools these days for kids who have trouble reading–so much more early intervention and diagnosis and help. I really think that the problem frequently must involve adults that are in their 30s and up…before there was much awareness of the problem.
Lorel–No, not a soapbox, a lectern! It’s a good thing. I’ve been working through this in my head for the last few days, not sure how to process what I’d experienced. I was worried, and surprised, and then just blown away–that’s how completely engulfed in my little book world I am…just absolutely *clueless*. This is such an important topic and so tragic.
I’m still thinking about your husband…art teacher at a private school? Different requirements for private school.
I haven’t had time to read all the comments but I think it’s sad the education system has failed her. Well, I hope if I ever came across someone who couldn’t read, I would help them.
ann
Debra–I’m thinking either this job was the only option open to her, or she *thought* it was the only option. You’re right..very sad.
Ann–Definitely..she wasn’t prepared by the system for a life of reading and then society didn’t have any good fits for her for an occupation, either.