Author: Elizabeth Spann Craig

Ain’t misbehavin’? Not in South Carolina.

If you haven’t heard about South Carolina governor Mark Sanford and his secret, six day trip to Argentina to meet with his mysterious lover….well, it’s probably because the news coverage switched abruptly to cover Michael Jackson. Which likely made Gov. Sanford quite relieved. But here in North Carolina, we’ve been reading the coverage on his tryst with amazement (yes, that’s me above, amazed. My children have had way too much fun taking pictures of me lately.)

Political sex scandals are frequent, but this case was especially remarkable: 1. He told his staff he’d be hiking the Appalachian Trail (which, last I saw, was nowhere near South America.) 2. He turned off his cell phone and no one could reach him; not a good thing in hurricane season. 3. He left the country and no one in SC knew anything about it. 4. He called his lover his “soul mate” during a news conference (!!!). 5. He said he was going to ‘try to fall back in love with his wife’ (!!$%^!). Soooo many no-nos if you’re wanting to make up with your wife, Governor.

My advice to the governor would be to high-tail it to the nearest florist and hit Godiva on the way back to the house. And maybe stop calling your lover your soul mate. In public and on TV.

This scandal and all the salacious emails he exchanged with his Argentinean friend would be a lot more entertaining if it were fictitious. Because in real life, you just can’t get a vicarious thrill from this type thing—he has a real wife and real children who are getting hurt.

Fiction is wonderful. We get to experience falls from grace, forbidden love, and illicit affairs. All the dirty laundry and none of the guilt.

Thoughts on scandals in books:

Mysteries are the perfect genre for writing scandals. After all, the desperate attempt to cover up a secret is one of the biggest motives for murder.

If the exposure of a secret or scandal can ruin your protagonist’s life, it better be good. As a society, we’re a whole lot more laid-back about things than we used to be. So if your character’s whole life is destroyed, it better not be because his mama found out he was living with his girlfriend. Nope. Not gonna fly.

If the scandal is something that’s fairly everyday (an extramarital affair), then you probably need to write your protagonist as a public figure of some kind. National-level politicians work well for this, but ministers, principals, school teachers, small town leaders, etc. have just as much to lose as the big guys.

If you want the public reaction to the scandal to be especially harsh, write a period piece. If it’s set in a place and time where folks were especially intolerant, you can even write in major uprisings or mob scenes. Salem witch trials, anyone?

Some of my favorite books that include scandals, secrets, and falls from grace: The Scarlet Letter, Pride and Prejudice (the younger sister…you remember), House of Mirth, and Atonement.

Hi everyone! I’m guest-blogging today (well…is it technically a ‘guest blog’ when you’re on the rotation?) at the InkSpot blog for Midnight Ink writers.

And you know you want to find out what the icky-looking things in the picture are. :)

I’m making some new resolutions. Why not? Why make January 1 the only date where we impose formidable goals for ourselves? Besides, I’m tired of the January resolutions (that maybe didn’t work out so well.)

Actually, I sort of like the idea of a mid-year goal. Yes—I know. The year is more than half-way up. Even better, though! I’m making a resolution to do things that I’ve actually already started.

I think I’m going to impose time-limits and reviews on my resolutions. See how they’re working out for me or if they need to be tweaked in a few months.

Now, without further ado, my resolutions:

Do a better job with my record-keeping for my taxes. (Pictured—me giddily thinking how nice it will be to write stuff off on my taxes next spring.) My inspiration for this resolution was a recent post on Diane Wolfe’s blog. I’m going to use the stuff-everything-into-an-envelope method. But at least that means that I’ll have the receipts next year. I was really kicking myself this past March when I did my taxes—I could have written off many things if I’d just kept the darned receipts.

Keep more on top of social media, marketing, and publishing trends. I have this really foreboding feeling that everything is about to turn topsy-turvy and if I don’t pay attention, I might go the way of the dinosaurs. If we’re all heading to e-books I should just keep my mouth shut and try to adjust. Que sera sera. And I need to find out exactly what the heck Flickr is (and why the application leaves out the ‘e’ from its name. Which really irritates me.)

Read more. I miss the time I used to spend reading. Nowadays I’ve just got to schedule it in instead of acting like it will just spontaneously happen. But I think you’ve got to keep reading to be a good writer. Besides, there are so many books on my to-read list right now. And spending time at my local bookstore (and having the staff know who I am) has got to be a good thing.

Balance my writing schedule better. So I’ve got to write, revise, and market all at the same time. I just need to get over it, stop complaining, and thank my lucky stars I’m in this situation. Figure out how to keep from shortchanging one book for the sake of the other.

Just say no. Because I can’t. And my time is getting completely eaten up by stuff I shouldn’t be doing.

Do you have any July 8th resolutions? Or are you too smart to get stuck in the resolution trap?

I know you’re waiting with bated breath with a burning question—how have I banished clichés from my writing? This post is not; in any way, shape, or form; intended to be a bone of contention for people inclined to use clichés. In fact, there have been many books which have gotten glowing reviews that I’ve had the privilege to read that have clichés scattered throughout. To make a long story short, clichés do stick out like a sore thumb and should be used with caution. Although that’s easier said than done.

Okay, I’ll stop. :) That was painful.

As I’m reading over my odious first paragraph, the clichés are obvious. But when I’m speedily typing along on my WIP, clichés may not jump out at me (Lord. Now I’ve written in so many clichés that I can’t even stop. Strike ‘jump out at me’ for ‘stand out.’)

Editors hate them unless you turn the cliché into something fresh and different. So, instead of writing ‘He couldn’t make ends meet,’ you could say something like ‘He couldn’t make ends meet….or even make beginnings meet.’ Not very clever, but you get the drift.

Or you could just reword the cliché completely.

Are clichés ever good? Actually, they can be useful if you’re coming up with a humorous title for your book. My August release is Pretty is as Pretty Dies….a takeoff on the old saying “pretty is as pretty does.”

There are a few great sites that focus on clichés. Want to look up a cliché by letter? Go to the Cliché Site. Cliché Finder is another great site. Another is a site that instructs journalists which lists commonly-used hackneyed expressions to avoid.

Writing an argument occasionally becomes necessary.

I’ve got suspects who argue with police and suspects who argue with each other.

The funny thing about writing arguments is that they’re not at all like real life confrontations.

I don’t like arguing—I’m one of those ‘stony silence’ people. Or sometimes a ‘I’m going along with the group, but really unhappy about it’ person.

But lately, I’m having a few arguments with my rising 7th grader. I suppose this is because he’s entering his teen years. The arguments go something like this (this argument we had yesterday morning while visiting my parents and my parents’ church): Me: “Hey, you can’t wear shorts to Nana and Papa’s church.” My son: “Why not?” Me: “Because then your church shoes will look silly if you’re wearing shorts.” My son: “But I’m not going to wear my church shoes. I’m going to wear my tennis shoes.” Me: “Your tennis shoes look awful! They’re covered in mud!” My son (affronted): “They look just fine. There’s not a spot on them.” Me: “No, no! You’ve got to wear khaki pants and your dressy shoes!” Him: “MOM!!! It’s 90 degrees outside!”

You get the idea. It was a stupid argument. And, actually, most arguments that I’ve observed or participated in, have been ridiculously stupid.

Ways Written Arguments are Different from their Real-Life Counterparts:

They shouldn’t have repetitive elements. Unlike the argument above, which went in circles for at least 10 minutes with both my son and myself reiterating past points about the cleanliness or filthiness of said shoes.

They shouldn’t be boring. Written arguments are there to forward the plot along. They should reveal something about a relationship between two people, give the reader information about a problem, or perhaps even (in the case of mysteries) set up a murder. At any rate, they can’t be about shoes.

They shouldn’t be formulaic. This sort of goes along with the above point. We all know how husbands and wives are supposed to argue: “I think that you’re feeling________, which I understand (validating his/her feelings). But when you do ________, it makes me feel _________.” Well, that’s all well and good for real-life arguments. In fact, it’s an excellent way to argue. It’s just incredibly boring to read. When I’m reading, I expect some fireworks during an argument.

There should be some sort of immediate outcome from the argument. I’m reading a PD James novel now (The Private Patient) and there’s a scene involving an argument between the surgeon and a nurse. The two were having a relationship, which came to an end during the argument. This fight stays in the back of the reader’s mind whenever Ms. James brings the two into a new scene. We realize they feel awkward around each other, we see the way they’re avoiding the other. Arguments could result in breakups, violence, regrets, and escalated tension. They could be used as a device to send the plot in a completely different direction.

Arguments are a great way to provide conflict and tension to a manuscript. I just make sure mine aren’t as unfocused and pointless in print as the verbal variety I’ve engaged in lately.