I’ll say straight out that non-writers are frequently not sure what to make of the writing life.
Why would someone put so much time, research, and energy into something that pays so little?
Why would someone open themselves up (repeatedly) to hurt from rejections or snarky reviewers?
Honestly, it’s really not something that makes a lot of sense. Most writers feel driven to write…and it’s important enough to us to ignore the long hours, low pay, and potentially harsh feedback from first readers, agents, and editors.
But having a little support is very helpful. And maybe you’ve got it with your family and friends… maybe you don’t.
If you’ve got zero support or if people don’t even know you write, I’d definitely recommend the online writing community. Blogs are great places to connect with other writers (find active blogs to follow, then branch out and follow folks in their blog rolls. Don’t lurk!) , but so are forums like Absolute Write and Writers Net which connect writers with each other and with resources and information.There are also Yahoo Groups that operate on an email loop (or you can choose to visit the group’s board). Just go to http://groups.yahoo.com/ and search for “writing” or the genre of your choice.
You can find writers on social media, too. We’re all over Facebook. If you befriend me (and I’ll friend just about anyone), then you can easily find friends in my friends’ list who write. You can do the same for any writer out there.
Twitter has tons of writers on it. If you put #amwriting or #writetips or #writechat into the search box on your home page, you’ll find writing tweeter
If you’re looking for in-person support, try local writers’ groups. Even small towns frequently have them now. Do a Google search: “Your hometown+writers groups.” You can also ask your local library—the research librarian will know, for sure. Several of the staff at my local bookstores (both independent and chain) are well-connected with the writing community, too, I’ve noticed.
Friends and family might not exactly understand why you’re writing, but can be supportive in small ways.
I don’t think it’s necessarily important that they understand the “why.” I’m not sure that anyone who doesn’t write would get it unless they have an equally time-consuming activity that they’re passionate about. But family can be supportive in different ways.
My husband has functioned as my patron of the arts. :) The small income I make from writing isn’t enough to make a living on, but he’s always provided the resources (and, with the resources, comes time to write).
My children promote me to their friends and their friends’ parents—while I usually don’t mention my writing to others. Their pride has led to many sales I wouldn’t otherwise have made.
Maybe your support came from long ago. A teacher could have let you know you had talent. A grandmother or father might have engendered a love of books by reading to you. I was lucky enough to have both encouraging teachers and a family that promoted books and reading.
And, since today is Mother’s Day in the States, I want to make a shout-out to the mothers out there…many of whom are incredibly supportive.
My mother made sure that daily reading was incorporated into my day when I was growing up. She understood where my talents lay and didn’t chide me for mathematical incomprehension (although she set up tutors to help me.) She cheered me on when I got internships at magazines and then writing jobs at magazines. She encouraged me to start back writing after I’d had a dry spell with my first child was born.
She’s my only first reader now and does a great job steering me in the right direction. She’s also a tireless promoter— arranging book signings for me, a book club talk, and a library presentation. And she talks me up to her friends…and maybe even people who don’t want to hear about me and my books. :)
Thanks Mama. Happy Mother’s Day.
My mother had a rule that she would never interrupt a child who was reading to do chores.
I’m not really great at doing dishes, but she has never complained.
My mom was the same way with math. She knew I was trying my hardest and she didn’t care that every other grade was a b or an a while math was in the low c to high d range.
Moms are wonderful, aren’t they?
Great post.
We all need that bit of support and encouragement, particularly when a plot has just gone entirely wrong.
A sweet tribute to your Mom. I’d like to add a thanks to her (for supporting you with your writing so we can have great books to read) and wish both of you a Happy Mother’s Day.
Mason
Thoughts in Progress
I get my love of writing from my dad, but my mom supports me in whatever I choose to do. She is wonderful. My parents encouraged reading which of course inspires the writer in me.
Happy Mother’s day to you, Elizabeth, I know you are a great mom who also inspires and encourages her own children.
Teresa
Elizabeth – What a nice “thank you” to your mother : ). And “thanks” to her from me, too – you’re a wonderful adult and a great writer : ).
And I agree – support from other writers is so important! Even if you don’t join a critique group, it’s so nice to communicate with other folks who “get it.” I depend so often for encouragement from my online writer friends.
Happy Mother’s Day!
My mom was my greatest fan always as well! She has always given me every opportunity to read and write…I always had the biggest stack of those Scholastic books and finished at the top of those Bookworm competitions with oodles of Pizza Hut prizes in grade school.
And that’s all because of Mom.
Now, she still pushes me. And she gives gifts of writer’s conventions and digital recorders and the like. So she is one of my patrons. My husband is my other. You’re right, I certainly couldn’t survive on not writing or writing for free!
Happy Mother’s Day, Elizabeth!
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
Happy Mother’s Day, Elizabeth!
Thank-you for the advice on finding support. I’m in the camp where my hubby supports, but doesn’t understand why I have to write.
I’m one of those people who tell no one in my real life that I write. I do belong to a writing community for support and it’s changed my writing immensely.
CD
The online support from other writers has been wonderful. Fortunately, my husband is my greatest cheerleader, so I get support in the real world, too.
Great post! The Internet and its opportunities has been great for writers to connect.
Helen
Thanks for these tips! I’m going to google search local writing groups and see what I find. Hope you have a fabulous Mother’s Day, Elizabeth!!!
Your mom sounds so great. Blessings to you and her on this Mother’s Day! Write on!
What a wonderful mother´s day post!
And I am happy to say that my mother is also proud of me. She reads very few books, but she has read each and every manuscript I have given her (both my novels plus dozens of short stories and flash fiction), and contrary to most other writers´ books mine can keep her awake. That is something, isn´t it?
Great post! I agree so much about how encouraging and useful support from others (both other writers and other non-writers) can be. I’m lucky that my mother has been and still is an enthusiastic supporter and reader of my writing since I was a child. It’s really touching to hear that so many other writers have lovely encouraging mothers and how much that means to them.
Stephanie–Oh, I tried SO hard. It just wasn’t in the cards for me to be good at it. But I loved that my parents accepted that’s just the way my brain operated. :) Moms *are* wonderful.
Daring Novelist–I love that! My kids would love me to adopt the same rule..and maybe I will!
Cassandra–Because we can easily get into that negative self-talk and a little support from family, friends, or other writers can keep us from ‘going there’ too long!
Mason–Thanks so much! And the same to you. :)
Teresa–Sounds like both of your parents were wonderfully supportive in different ways!
Margot–Thanks! And the same to your mom. :) Yes, other writers ‘get it’ so well that sometimes I forget that non-writers aren’t on the same wavelength!
Clarissa– I think it’s so important to have a little support–I can completely understand not wanting to share our writing identity with people we know…it’s nice to have that online encouragement from other writers.
Michele–Those are some very useful, supportive gifts! She sounds like a great mom.
Diane–That’s the best of both worlds.
Janel–Oh, mine doesn’t understand either. :) But he’s very supportive.
Helen–Hasn’t it? I’m so glad to have it.
Laura–Hope you find some good ones! Good luck.
To you, too, Mary–Happy Mother’s Day…you’re double-blessed, Mom o’ Twins!
Debbie–It really can be. Sometimes I think we need it more than others…sometimes maybe we’re not ready to share our writing. But when we need that support, we really need it!
Dorte–And see…your writing can keep her awake when others’ can’t!
Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers!
This might be a good place to find writer’s meet ups:
http://www.meetup.com/
I don’t remember how I found it. By accident, obviously :).
Very well said. For me, entering the blogging community was one of the best things I’ve ever done. The support in this community is just amazing. Great post!
What a wonderful post! Great advice on where to find support and not to forget the one’s who’ve supported us along the way. Happy mother’s day!
I think writing makes no sense at all, especially if you don’t have that good moral support. Yet writers keep on doing it anyway. Craziness.