My daughter and I were at the Halloween store last weekend, trying to find her a costume. For some reason, it’s never easy finding one for her—she has this perfect mental image of what she’s looking for…and the store rarely has it.
We decided to walk around the store a little bit. It was one of those huge Halloween warehouse places that’s a temporary store—it opens up wherever there’s a vacant big-box store or a vacant strip mall spot, then closes down after Halloween is over.
This store had some really scary stuff in it. Not only did it have creepy masks and costumes, but it also had a large amount of Halloween yard decorations. So there were leering, six-feet tall clowns, a large zombie baby display, a huge werewolf, and—at the back of the store—three life-sized recreations of horror movie favorites Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, and Jason Voorhees.
They had “try me” buttons. You’d hit the button and then they’d say something really creepy and lift a knife or a claw-like hand threateningly.
At this point I was ready to go back to the Halloween costumes and do some shopping. I didn’t need any nightmares from a certain 9 year old girl. But she was determined to press the buttons. So I thought…well, okay. Maybe they’d look really fake and we’d laugh and that would be the end of it.
She tentatively reached out, then pulled her hand back. These things really did look terrifying. “Do you want me to press the button?” I asked. She shook her head. “No. I want to do it.”
She leaned forward again and I held my breath as we both focused on the Freddy Krueger she was reaching out for.
Suddenly a store clerk came up from behind us, grabbed my daughter’s shoulders and yelled, “Boo!!!”
My daughter jumped a mile, but she quickly recovered and laughed at the joke. Me? I was still trying to get my heart out of my throat—I wasn’t able to manage a laugh. We’d been so intent on looking at the creature that we weren’t paying any attention to anything else.
So by having our attention diverted with that much focus, we were able to receive a huge surprise.
The use for this is obvious for thriller writers—pull reader attention to the closet door, then have something come through the window.
Other genres could use this kind of technique, too. Make sure your reader is totally absorbed in one character, or one problem and then twist the plot so that the problem is actually something really different and surprising to both the character and the reader.
Mystery writers use this distraction technique to slip clues in. They reveal a clue then distract the reader (and sleuth) by creating an absorbing diversion somewhere else—maybe by laying down a fake clue (red herring) that looks like more of an important clue than the actual clue itself is.
Or, just when everything seems completely ordinary and banal in the character’s world, drop a bomb into it (not literally. Well…but you could…) Great for conflict and to stress our characters out—which is good for our books.
Have a character unveil a surprise—about themselves. We’ve focused the reader attention on the character’s good qualities or made the reader think about the character in a particular way—then shatter their illusions.
How do you distract your readers then surprise them?
Good advice! I think I might have squealed in the store if that had been me! :)
Elizabeth – What a great story! Diversion really is a useful strategy, and there are a lot of ways it can be created, too. Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot called it “the psychological moment” when everyone’s attention is riveted so much on one thing that they don’t look where they really should be looking – at the crime.
I love mystery and suspense–not people yelling boo behind me. :)
What I like is for my attention to be elsewhere and the story to catch me off guard and say boo.
Teresa
Sometimes I think writing a mystery is like being a magician–constant sleight of hand.
(And I had a GREAT time at the Writers’ Police Academy–did anyone notice I wasn’t around?)
Terry
Terry’s Place
Romance with a Twist–of Mystery
Misdirection and red herrings are so essential to mystery writing.
You writers try to create mystery by hiding things. By not showing the audience anything. The key isn’t in what you hide, it’s in what you show – is it interesting?
I had to laugh, you’re such a good writer, that even though I knew what was going to happen, when I read “boo” I jumped too.
I’ve always liked this technique in writing — diversion — If it’s done well, nobody sees it coming and everyone is surprised.
I second Piedmont Writer. You are so fantastic that even though I was expecting it, I jumped.
You diverted me with this post! I was so concentrated on the Halloween search that it took me a while to switch to the point–writing diversions! Fantastic! (Yes, that is three, count ’em THREE, exclamation points in one paragraph.)
My favorite diversion to read is the character-based one. I love when a character is so well-written, so enthralling, that I am momentarily distracted from the point or the twist.
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
Oy!
Where I wrote “You writers try to create mystery by hiding things” I meant “YOUNG writers.” That’s not something that experienced (or even published) writers do.
(I was typing in bed on my netbook with the help of a cat.)
This is a great point, Elizabeth! It is like all the flourishes the magician makes so you won’t notice his sleight of hand. I think I use this but I will go back into The Rock Walker and make sure!
So after all that, did she finally press the button?
I used that in my non-mystery book – everything was focused on one crisis when boom – a bigger one hit out of nowhere.
This is great. What a wonderful way to illustrate your point…*looking behind me for scary monsters*
CD
Piedmont Writer–I wish I’d known it was coming, at the time! I guess she could see how paralyzed we were while we were looking at the scary stuff and knew it was the perfect opportunity.
Rayna–You should have been there with me! I needed some protection from the store clerk. :)
Jemi–I froze up, instead. It was either that or jump out of my skin!
Margot–I’d forgotten that! Yes, the “psychological moment.” Poirot/Christie had it right!
Journaling Woman–Yes, I didn’t love that part very much, either! Having the story or characters surprise me is fun, though. :)
Jan–And congratulations to you for winning the pitch contest! Woo-hoo!
Terry–Maybe we’d be good magicians!
How was the Writer’s Police Academy? That’s something I would LOVE to be able to go to!
Alex–She did. And the NEXT night (not that night, but the following one), she was in my room at 3:30 a.m. with nightmares. I’m thinking there was a connection!!
The Daring Novelist–Very true! And some of the things we show aren’t important–even though we want readers to THINK they are.
Diane–I like that…just when you think nothing could *possibly* get worse–something does.
Clarissa–*Definitely* look behind you! Who knows what might be sneaking up on you? :)
Michele–We got the costume…she’s to be a devil. And some days, that’s apt. :)
I like those types of twists, too. Or ones that are backwards–where we’re so interested in what’s going on with the plot that the character surprises us (like “Sixth Sense” and “Fight Club.”)
What a fabulous example! It’s a practiced thing, I think. Even though I know I ought to do this, I think i either overshoot or undershoot a lot of the time. Your example though, is so vivid–seems like it might stick with me for a while!
I think your list is spot-on. If you read mysteries, you’ll realize how the author distracted you, once you finish the book. That’s okay because the next time, it’ll happen again.
Loved the story of you and your daughter.
I am the ultimate scaredy cat! That store would have sent me into a tizzy:)
Thanks for the tips, I’m trying to sprinkle my story with a few unexpected twists that I pray come across nicely.
Hart–And you’re right–if you overshoot it then it’s too obvious and it’s not a surprise at all.
The Daring Novelist–Cats have a way of messing with keyboards, don’t they? I don’t know what it is about them–mine seem to be jealous of my laptop. :)
Helen–Thanks! I look for the distractions now, when I read mysteries, but sometimes I STILL don’t see them because I’m so caught up in the story.
I can so visualize your Halloween story. I’m glad your daughter was able to take it in stride. I think my reaction would have been more like yours.
I dropped a lot of small changes in a short period of time on my protagonist, who didn’t like changes, before letting the big bomb drop – I’m hoping that had the same sort of diversion effect.
I think I’m being overly picky about what to dress my daughter as for her first Halloween. The choices for infants: sheep, pumpkin, bear and dog. But then, maybe I’m not.
Great advice. I’m now racking my brain for ways to do this in my novel!
Its in my nature to fall for red-herrings. Probably b/c I like being taken by surprise.
I hope she pushed the button after that scare.
…….dhole
Oh, excellent! Not that you got the bejeezus scared out of you, but the comments after that bit. I like ’em. I shall have to remember them.
‘Course, I’m just sadistic enough to have enjoyed the scaring bit too. Wait, did I say that out loud?
A nicely woven anecdote of diversion. I couldn’t believe the store clerk did that.
I think the best way for me to divert the reader is to first divert myself in the rough draft. Then when I come back to revise, I’ll realize I might be missing an element, and I could easily sneak it in under the radar this way.
Jane–And I was just *slightly* irritated. You know? You weren’t *expecting* to be scared…not by a REAL person, anyway. See, as I get older, I think I’m getting grumpier.
Sounds like you’ve done a GREAT job stressing out your character! I’m no fan of change, either.
Mallory–My daughter was a bunny. :) We bought a bunny-ears headband (pink), and she had a warm onesy thing on. And bunny slippers. She slept through the whole night because she’d gotten her immunizations that day!
Donna–You know, we lose SO much of the enjoyment of reading a mystery when we see through the red herrings. I try not to.
She pressed ALL the buttons after that…but she kept looking behind her for the lady.
Simon–Well, I had to get something good out of the experience. :) I left shaken, slightly irritated, and $30 poorer (the cost of the costume my daughter wanted.)
Ha! No, I didn’t enjoy the scary surprise. I think the *clerk* enjoyed giving it, though.
Tamika–Sounds like you’re writing a fun read!
Jeffrey–I had a couple of moments when I couldn’t believe the clerk had done it, either! And a GROWN clerk…not a teenager. Scared me to death.
Cool idea! So taking a break actually becomes a good way to think up fresh twists and find new ways of creating surprises.
I love everything about this post and it’s an easy trick to discuss, but it is extremely difficult to execute. I’m going to keep trying so I will hopefully get good at it one day (planting surprises in my novel, not scaring children). ;-)