by Elizabeth S. Craig, @elizabethscraig
This post is especially for all the newer or
more uncertain writers out there. The
ones who are frozen while working on their manuscript because they’ve read so
many writing craft books and posts that they’re just afraid of messing up if
they work on their story.
more uncertain writers out there. The
ones who are frozen while working on their manuscript because they’ve read so
many writing craft books and posts that they’re just afraid of messing up if
they work on their story.
My sister had twins last summer and
quickly found that there was something about a new mother that made experienced
moms want to give them advice…on any and all topics. But every baby is different and every mom is
different. I decided I’d bite my tongue
and only give advice to my sister when asked for it. After all—what did I even know about raising twins? I had my babies 4/ ½ years apart and they’re
getting pretty old now. And I’m
forgetful.
quickly found that there was something about a new mother that made experienced
moms want to give them advice…on any and all topics. But every baby is different and every mom is
different. I decided I’d bite my tongue
and only give advice to my sister when asked for it. After all—what did I even know about raising twins? I had my babies 4/ ½ years apart and they’re
getting pretty old now. And I’m
forgetful.
When she did
ask me for advice, I tried to phrase it so it didn’t sound bossy coming out:
“Sometimes I’d try to….”
ask me for advice, I tried to phrase it so it didn’t sound bossy coming out:
“Sometimes I’d try to….”
Ultimately, each parent has to try
different approaches to see what works.
Maybe the babies need a nap schedule.
Maybe they don’t adhere to a schedule well. Maybe they need a late-morning nap and then
skip the afternoon nap and then turn in for the day after an early supper. Who knows?
You have to experiment to find out what works.
different approaches to see what works.
Maybe the babies need a nap schedule.
Maybe they don’t adhere to a schedule well. Maybe they need a late-morning nap and then
skip the afternoon nap and then turn in for the day after an early supper. Who knows?
You have to experiment to find out what works.
This is what makes me nervous about
giving advice to new writers, too (which I’ve already done via email twice in
the past week. And, clearly, which I try to do on this blog.) What do I know, when it comes down to it? I know what’s right for me and my
books (most of the time.) Each genre,
each writer, each book—is different.
giving advice to new writers, too (which I’ve already done via email twice in
the past week. And, clearly, which I try to do on this blog.) What do I know, when it comes down to it? I know what’s right for me and my
books (most of the time.) Each genre,
each writer, each book—is different.
Some books are more commercial than
others. Some books have a clear genre classification. Some books are lyrical
and different and unable to be easily categorized.
others. Some books have a clear genre classification. Some books are lyrical
and different and unable to be easily categorized.
Some writers are retired. Some are
parenting challenging children. Some care for aging parents. Some work weekends
and nights. Some face health problems.
Some are still in school.
parenting challenging children. Some care for aging parents. Some work weekends
and nights. Some face health problems.
Some are still in school.
I remember reading volumes on
writing. I read books from the
library. I read blogs and forums. My mind was boggled by all the information—and
the way that so much of it appeared to be contradictory to other bits of advice
or information.
writing. I read books from the
library. I read blogs and forums. My mind was boggled by all the information—and
the way that so much of it appeared to be contradictory to other bits of advice
or information.
It’s not any easier now. Should we get an agent? Query publishers? Self-publish?
Should we write every day? Write
to trends? Outline? Wing it?
Should we write every day? Write
to trends? Outline? Wing it?
I know what I did. I took it all in and tried different
approaches until I figured out what worked for me. And even then…I’m still making adjustments,
ten years in. What I need, what works
for me, is always changing. I would have
never believed that I’d choose to use an outline, if you’d asked me. Even if
you’d asked me two years ago.
approaches until I figured out what worked for me. And even then…I’m still making adjustments,
ten years in. What I need, what works
for me, is always changing. I would have
never believed that I’d choose to use an outline, if you’d asked me. Even if
you’d asked me two years ago.
It’s good to be informed. It’s good to listen to others and hear what
works for them. But, ultimately, we have
to experiment on our own to find out what works. And maybe we have to be open to new ideas and
new approaches if what used to work no
longer works for us now.
works for them. But, ultimately, we have
to experiment on our own to find out what works. And maybe we have to be open to new ideas and
new approaches if what used to work no
longer works for us now.
We can read all the new parent books and
all the writing craft books…but at some point we have to put it all into
practice and give it a go. Make mistakes
and learn from them and grow and improve and try and screw up.
all the writing craft books…but at some point we have to put it all into
practice and give it a go. Make mistakes
and learn from them and grow and improve and try and screw up.
There really are no rules. And the only
way we can really fail at writing is if we don’t write at all.
way we can really fail at writing is if we don’t write at all.
Image: MorgueFile: kamuelaboy
Since last year I’ve started reading your blog. I haven’t posted a comment earlier although I have found many of your posts helpful and supportive.
But now I want to thank you for sharing this one. As a wannabe-murder mystery writer (I challenged myself by writing my story on a blog in 365 day) and a mother of twins this one appeals to me especially.
So thank you!
Best wishes Anita (following you from the Netherlands)
Ps: I am currently enjoying Quilt or Innocence
I so love this post, Elizabeth, on so many levels. It’s true. There are no rules.
Elizabeth – Oh, that’s brilliant! You’re so exactly right! We only fail at writing if we don’t write. And every writer finds her or his own way through the process. I think what is helpful is when we talk together about some of the issues we face. Maybe your solution won’t work for someone else, but it’s nice for that someone else to know s/he’s not facing the issue alone. Besides, more discussion = more information about a topic. More information = more informed decisions. A good thing in my book.
Excellent post and awesome advice for newer writers as well as old timers, Elizabeth.
Now that is excellent advice.
Everyone advises to wait a couple weeks after finishing a first draft before beginning revisions. I don’t. I dive back in the next day because that works for me. Besides, by the time I finish that first draft, I’ve forgotten how it began…
Bingo. Writing and parenting really are very similar in this regard. There’s so much information out there and so many differing opinions, the only constant bit of advice I give on either is to find out as much as you can, then make up your own mind what will work best for you.
Great post, and a lot of great advice! I think you’re right that in the end, it’s all about finding what writing advice works for you.
Too true.
Anita–I’m so glad! Congrats on the twins and the mystery.
And…thanks so much for reading Quilt or Innocence! I appreciate that. :)
B.E.–Thanks!
Alex–Me too. :) My memory is too faulty to wait for long.
Paul–Which is excellent advice!
Karen–Thanks so much!
Margot–Informed decisions are the way to go!
Camilla–Which can be time-consuming, but ultimately is the best way to find out what works. :)
LD–Thanks for coming by!
Great advice, Elizabeth! Finding what works for you is so important. I’m always interested in other authors process, and pick and choose what I like and what I feel will work for me. Even after all that, I’m finding out that each book is different.
Finding our writing way certainly keeps us on our toes.
Good advice!
The one size fits all approach never works.
This sounds like great advice!
http://www.modernworld4.blogspot.com
Great post Elizabeth. I was one of those newbie writers who thought I could learn it all from a book. I tried to take every bit of advice but soon realised it was conflicting. So I started reading writing guides with a more critical eye and taking some advice with a pinch of salt. Advice is great but as you said, you need to work out what works for you – by trial and error if necessary!
Elke–Picking and choosing is best, I think.
Rich–One size fits none, isn’t it? :)
Gina –Thanks!
lmmilford–I love reading those books…but too much info is just immobilizing, isn’t it? Sounds like you figured out the best approach!
When my oldest son was on the way (and a handful of friends were also expecting) there was one couple who had child-rearing advice for EVERYONE which they shared whether you wanted it or not.
They were, of course, childless.
Nature avenged us by giving them twins, a boy and a girl, when they least expected it. HOOrah.
Since I coach writers for a living, I understand what you’re talking about. Since I have 7 children, I also understand that whole parental advice thing.
As you discovered, when someone asks for advice, and you give it in non-dogmatic terms, it allows them to choose what matches their experience, and find alternatives to their own limited experience.
When I’m coaching an author, I spend far more time listening than talking. I need to let my intuition grok their status before I can even hint at potential solutions. Even then, my best advice hinges on experimentation, not dogma.
There is no “one true path” when it comes to writing. Except that we must.
I think I’ve been fairly successful raising my kids. The main rule I’ve followed is to offer them plenty of out-door adventure, and never accept whining. Then we’ll see about the writing … >:)
Cold As Heaven
I loved this post, Elizabeth.
It is pretty much universal for all topics; to experiment until you find what works best for you.
Thanks!
Kathy M.
Hi Elizabeth .. since reading blogs and working as such on the net – I’ll find things I need right now – and usually manage to ‘forget’ the others.
Then there are sites I trust and thankfully Feedly/BlogLovin keep those posts dropping in and I can keep an eye out ..
I never take anyone’s word for things – I mull ideas over or try things out first ..
Bet your sister has appreciated you holding off – how lovely to have twin nieces … your kids will love them ..
Cheers Hilary