I’m probably not the easiest friend to have.
That’s because I really don’t enjoy going out.
Honestly, if it weren’t for my children and their plethora of activities (and multitudinous errands), I’d probably rarely leave the house.
The funny thing is that the types of friends that I tend to attract are extroverts. This is probably because my fellow introverts are too busy being mellow inside their own houses. And maybe extroverts see me as a challenge. :)
I have one particular extroverted friend—we’ll call her Karen. She absolutely adores people and events and feeds off them. She has many, many, many friends and she treats them all wonderfully—she finds these fun, frequently inexpensive events to attend, calls her friends, they have a happy time, many pictures are taken and shared on Facebook.
Of course, though, when Karen calls me up and asks me to go somewhere (at least twice a week), my automatic reaction is, “No.” Right out of the gate.
Usually, Karen can get me to recant the no. “Elizabeth! Have you got something else to do then? Because it’s going to be a lot of fun. It’s free, the band is supposed to be great, the weather is going to be perfect, our girls can play at the playground there at the park. Why don’t we go? You can always leave early if you’re not having fun. You’ll probably find some characters there.”
And I do usually go. I’ll frequently be a little grouchy at the start, but trying to hide it (with varying degrees of success.) Then…the event is almost always fun, something interesting always happens, my children will have fun. There will be more people I know there. I’ll end up talking to them, too. Frequently, characters and ideas and just raw life will pop out at me at these things and demand to be written.
Then I go home and am completely exhausted and withdraw for the entire next day. And Karen will have already gotten a commitment from me to attend some other event. :)
The thing about Karen is the kind of reactions that she can bring out of me. There’s that desperate way I seize onto that ‘no’ at the very beginning (knowing the likely futility of it). And when she pushes me out of my comfort zone, there’s my usual irritation. But then, when I’m at these events that I never would have attended on my own, I end up with an odd feeling of accomplishment by the end of it. And I’ve frequently surprised myself at how much I enjoyed it. Then I crash. :)
I’ve recognized lately, that I always have a character like Karen in my books. They’re secondary characters to my protagonist and always make something interesting happen. They function almost as antagonists (but aren’t…the antagonists in my books are murderers.) These characters can create some pretty amazing elements in a book:
Maybe the secondary character provides tension in a scene as they push our protagonists in directions they don’t want to go in.
Maybe this supporting character provides some humor (we know the protagonist is avoiding him and what he represents. It’s fun to see them encounter the character.)
This character is frequently someone that the protagonist can’t quite figure out. And can’t really avoid or resist.
Maybe the push that this supporting character gives is actually more of a pull. That’s because many protagonists are extroverts and the conflict would be more effective if it was a holding back instead of a push ahead.
Maybe the character is someone who embarrasses the protagonist in public by saying whatever comes into her head, but ultimately presents the protagonist with a truth.
Ultimately, these types of characters can also bring out the best in a protagonist or actually change the protagonist in some way by pushing the character in a new direction. And this is great for a story because it means a deeper, more realistic protagonist.
Have you got any pushy secondary characters or read any you’ve enjoyed? What kind of effect did they have in the story?
Elizabeth – I’m kind of an introvert, too, so I know exactly what you mean about people who urge one to go and do… Interesting question about characters, too. I do have some pushy secondary characters here and there. Mostly they’re pushy because they’re young and energetic and they want to “get it done.” And you’re right; it does push my protag out of his comfort zone. Interesting point!
I tend to be a house-body too – and I have a friend just like Karen. I think a character like that would be a great fit for one of my shiny new ideas! :)
I have a friend like Karen, too. thank goodness for her or I’d never get out of the house, which usually ends up being a good thing. In my first books, I have a pushy 80-year-old main character in my novel. She delights in pushing people out of their own comfort zones. In my second book, I have a new character who is quietly pushy, and forces each of my characters to come to terms with certain aspects of their personalities. Great post, BTW!
When I read this post,I thought perhaps you had snuck inside my head because it’s exactly how I feel most of the time. Much prefer to stay home. But once I get somewhere, I enjoy myself.
Karen
I so related when I read that line about you automatically answering No when called upon to go out socially. I say no so much I could be a terrible two-year-old. Though no one thinks of the out-there, extroverted Mama character in my mysteries as a SECONDARY character, I always saw her as the wacky sidekick to the protagonist, her sensible middle daughter, MACE. (Though they’re the Mace Bauer Mysteries, Mama is in every title, and she definitely THINKS she’s the main character) Mama is integral, but easier to take in smaller doses.
I almost wish I had a Karen type friend. I don’t like going out much, partly because I don’t find those sorts of events easily on my own and I don’t like going places where I don’t know people.
And maybe extroverts see me as a challenge. :)
We do. I know, because I am one! How can you be happy sitting in alone without us to entertain you? That just isn’t possible.
I am not quite as bad as your Karen. But I do have friends who are introverts that I push from time to time.
My current work in progress has a secondary character who is like that. She is fun, bubbly and drags to protag out of her comfort zone. She also is fiercely protective and carries a gun. I like her. :)
I can relate to this! I love going out to little festivals and cute towns, but too often I say no. It’s really hard to balance family, work, and leisure, so I usually throw leisure to the sharks. Maybe I need Karen? :)
And yes, I love quirky characters who bring out tension and humor in our main character!
I think that Karen may be exactly what I need in a couple of my stories (which just seemed to grind to a halt last year). Because like you, I prefer to stay at home, never far from my sofa and my laptop, and of course I tend to create protagonists who are like me. Creatures who mope around at home and never experience anything. And hey presto, after three chapters I run into serious problems because they just sit there and even *I* can see the story is lethally boring.
I can definitely relate to the introvert/extravert thing – I have reached a compromise now I’m older which is that I’ll go to a work event or a social event of my own free will but only for a short time, and I won’t feel bad about leaving early. I call it ‘social fatigue’ because it’s a response to the effort I have to make to socialise at all.
Re pushy characters – I have one female main character who is quite unpredictable herself and who loves trying to get other people to do spontaneous unpredictable things too – she doesn’t always succeed, but it’s a lot of fun writing the interactions!
You just described me!
Yes, my next book has a character that will push, pull, and force Byron into areas he’d rather not. Actually there’s two characters, but one is more pushy.
I could use one of those characters to give me a push some days.
This kind of goes hand in hand with my post about how different characters bring out different sides of your protag! I like the idea – this character would be the “instigator” in a way. They’d prod the MC to do something. :D
Margot–It’s good to keep protagonists from getting too comfortable!
Deb–Mama was a stroke of genius! One of my favorite characters. :) Mama IS the main character, Deb…what are you talking about?!
Jemi–Ooh…SNN syndrome! I know all about that…
Jaleh–Most of the time, I just dread getting asked out. But then I’m OUT, and honestly, it’s not so bad. Otherwise, I’d turn into Emily Dickinson (God forbid…)
Dawn–That’s what I think my friend thinks! I really believe she’s sure I’m miserable locked inside with my Kindle. :) Little does she know…
Thank goodness for characters that drag us out! I like your gun-toting pushy character. :)
Mollie–I LOVE irrascible 80 year olds! Let me know when your book comes out so I can get it.
Jill–I think I could loan Karen to you, if you’d like… :)
Karen–I usually *do* really enjoy myself, once someone has dragged my unwilling, protesting self to an event. :) But then, I’m just so *tired*!
Sheila–It IS fun to write those scenes, isn’t it? I think it may be therapeutic for me. :) And I ONLY go to events if I bring my own car (I have to have an escape hatch. One of these days I may turn into a true hermit…)
Alex–Excellent!
Dorte–If my protagonists were like me, then no one would buy the books! Ha! Sounds like you and I are much the same. At least you have a job that takes you out of the house…
Diane–Me too!
Lisa Gail Green–Exactly. Those protagonists have got to get things going in the story, and pushy characters are just another way to instigate some action. :)
The sequel to my upcoming novel definitely has a pushy secondary character and I love her. She moves the MC into places she wouldn’t normally go and propels things into fun and challenging places. Everyone needs someone like that, in real life and fiction!
Heather–It’s definitely the type of person who makes things happen! Which is a good thing…in novels. And, okay, in life (says Elizabeth, grudgingly.) :)
Interesting post! I’m basically an introvert who has learned how to be outgoing. Too much of it, though, and I need some solitude.
Terrific post! I wish you weren’t describing me with such unflinching accuracy, but… you are. So who goads me until I’m nudged out of my comfort zone? Usually someone I can’t say no to for some reason. Either because I’m obligated to them, or because they’re too important to offend, or because they’re the kind of family you have to see out of politeness once in a while so they don’t gossip to the rest of the family about how odd you are. Every once in a while there’s someone I don’t know well enough to reveal my curmudgeonly truth to, and we may even end up being friends. But every single time I receive an invite it feels like I have to shoehorn myself out of the known world of my flat into the unpredictable randomness of the world at large. So maybe it’s a control thing?
Thanks for making me think about this!
Great post! I love how your friend entices you to come out and play by saying, “You might find a character there.” And, yes, I have a great pushy character in my play. It’s like she challenges what’s really going on. She moves the story along and helps to reveal the truth.
Great way to examine the relationship. Life really does need it’s Karen’s and in writing our protagonists need them even more. Relationships allow readers to see different sides to the characters, they are more details that fill in the connection between the audience and the character.
Kathleen–Me too. It’s why I try not to go to too many writing conferences. Exhausting!
Mary–Isn’t that sad? They have to resort to using writing bait to pull me out of my house. :)
Lia Keyes–Ha!Yes to ALL of those reasons. My friends put up with a huge amount from me…they may need to establish a Friends of Elizabeth Craig support group. :) I tell any potential friends at the very start that I just don’t enjoy leaving my house. Then they don’t think I’m trying to avoid them! Maybe it *is* something of a control issue…or maybe introverts are just curmudgeonly, period?
PW.Creighton–Very good point! It’s so true that relationships can lend our protagonists some depth.