From First Sentence To Book Deal

Vivian Conroy is the author of the Lady Alkmene Mysteries

by Vivian Conroy, @VivWrites

When the editor called me to offer me a 3-book deal for my Lady Alkmene Callender 1920s’ mysteries, she told me that after reading a sentence or two she already knew this book was something she’d want to buy. Of course my book had to deliver as a whole (appealing characters, a solid plot) but her remark made me realize something extremely important for writers:  whether you are submitting to a contest, including pages with a query to an agent, or sending in requested work after a conference pitch, your first sentence or first paragraph has to hook the reader right away.

The first sentence has to do many things at once: set the tone of the story, show that something is about to happen that the reader wants to be a part of. When I typed the first sentence of my manuscript, I saw a very clear picture in my mind that I wanted to convey: an unconventional aristocratic woman at a party, reaching for a lighter to relight her cigarette and overhearing a few whispered words that pique her interest and involve her in what is to become her very first murder investigation.

We meet the heroine, Lady Alkmene, at a point of change in her life, where she hits upon something, by coincidence, yes, but something that also clicks with elements that were already present in her character: the need for excitement, insatiable curiosity, fascination with human psychology. Traits that will serve her well as she takes her first steps as a budding detective.

In the first chapter we don’t learn a whole lot about Lady Alkmene in terms of backstory, but we do see her in action, or rather almost hear the cogwheels in her mind churning as she puts information together. Because we are clueless like she is, we sort of automatically sleuth alongside her, trying to work out what on earth is going on here. Sprinkle in some details about the setting, reveal character in words and actions, and you are good to go.

So if you’re putting together a submission, go over your first sentence and your first page and see how you can grab readers right away and place them in the world you have created where everything starts unfolding in a natural way. Don’t be too worried that the reader won’t follow along if some details are left until later. The most important thing for you as writer is to show readers a scene they get curious about, a character they want to know more about, and you’ve accomplished your first task.

Then of course there is all the rest of the work that goes into a full-length novel.

But trust me when I say that writing a strong opening scene can get you an editor’s attention … and a book deal!

In love with the mystery genre since she read her first Agatha Christie at thirteen, Vivian Conroy writes the Lady Alkmene Callender 1920s’ mysteries for an imprint of HarperCollins. Book 1, A PROPOSAL TO DIE FOR — described by reviewers as ‘a cross between Downton Abbey and Miss Marple’ — hit top ten Cozy Mystery in Australia.  Book 2, DIAMONDS OF DEATH, where Lady Alkmene has to dig deep in her own family’s secrets to clear a cat burglar of a murder charge, has just been released while book 3, DEADLY TREASURES, in which Lady Alkmene travels to Cornwall on the trail of fabled gold, will release on November 21 (already available for pre-order). Each installment can be read on its own. When not writing or plotting a new mystery, Vivian enjoys hiking, growing her own windowsill herbs and experimenting with felt and clay. For all things #LadyAlkmene, with a dash of dogs and chocolate, follow Vivian on Twitter via @VivWrites or find the mysteries on Goodreads and LibraryThing.

Author @VivWrites on the importance of your first sentence: Click To Tweet

Elizabeth Spann Craig

View posts by Elizabeth Spann Craig
Elizabeth writes the Memphis Barbeque series (as Riley Adams) and the Southern Quilting mysteries for Penguin and writes the Myrtle Clover series for Midnight Ink and independently. She also has a blog, which was named by Writer’s Digest as one of the 101 Best Websites for Writers. There she posts on the writing craft, finding inspiration in everyday life, and fitting writing into a busy schedule.

10 Comments

  1. HilaryNovember 4, 2016

    Hi Elizabeth and Vivian – what a well constructed post … letting us know all we need to know – make the first sentence to die for … the editor is more than likely to pick it up, and the reader will read … cheers to you both – Hilary

    1. Vivian ConroyNovember 4, 2016

      Thanks so much for your reply, Hilary! It’s so essential for a writer to convey the enthusiasm you’re feeling for your book/series to the editor or agent who will be reading the work and an engaging opening can certainly help to do that!

      I like to think of my opening scene as a scene from a TV series or film: what does the reader see right away and what in that image will appeal and arouse curiosity?

  2. Margot M KinbergNovember 4, 2016

    No doubt about it all all – first sentences and first pages can make all the difference. Thanks for sharing your experience, and I wish you much success.

    1. Vivian ConroyNovember 4, 2016

      Thanks for reading and responding, Margot! Thinking about the opening scene is especially appropriate now that NaNoWriMo has begun again.

      I will also be talking opening scenes in the #writerswise chat on Twitter later this month, so if you’d like to check that out as well, keep an eye on my Twitter announcements about date and time. Questions will be posted in advance!

  3. Alex J. CavanaughNovember 4, 2016

    I’ve gotten better with this with each book. (At least I hope so.) I think if that first line can show both character and conflict, you have a winner.

    1. Vivian ConroyNovember 4, 2016

      So true, Alex! Thanks for reading and responding!

  4. chemistkenNovember 4, 2016

    The opening sentence can be harder to write than the entire rest of the chapter. Doing it well is a skill all writers need.

    1. Vivian ConroyNovember 4, 2016

      Totally agree that each chapter should start with an engaging sentence — just as each chapter needs to end with something providing tension and drive to read on — to make sure the reader keeps going (even past their bedtime or their bus stop :D).

  5. AD StarrlingNovember 5, 2016

    Love this and so true as well. Andy Weir’s The Martian hooked me with the first line. The one I cooked up for my permafree first in series is one of the main reasons readers tell me they downloaded the book :D (and went on to buy the rest of the series!)

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