In many ways, I’m the biggest lurker out there. I do try to comment on friends’ blogs, but for the vast majority of the blogs I visit in a week (which is in the hundreds), I skim and share.
Some of what I see and have seen over the years makes me sad. I’ve seen writers talk about how beaten-down they’ve been from the rejection cycle, from reader reviews, from lack of family support or publisher support. I’ve seen a lot of self-doubt and a lot of people quitting.
Interestingly, though, I’ve seen a lot of writers who blogged that they were quitting writing only to pop back on the scene months later. They couldn’t stop.
I understand where they’re coming from. I have over 450 customer reviews on at least two of my books. I’d say at least one or two out of every four or five is a real stinker. The worst are the ones that you get absolutely no helpful feedback from whatsoever—hey, at least give me something to correct, y’all. What didn’t you like? I’m always searching for ways to improve. Did a character seem flat to you? Ending wasn’t believable? Protagonist was unsympathetic? Is there some sort of takeaway, some sort of actionable tip that I can get from this wretched review? For heaven’s sake…just let me know.
What keeps me going are the three or four out of every five reviews who enjoy the books and take the time to write a customer review to say so. I can totally understand writing a review for something you dislike (you’re angry you wasted your valuable time), but it’s a real gift when readers write a positive review. Similar to the negative reviews, it’s also helpful if they pick out what they do like so much—so that I can provide more of it next time.
It’s human nature to feel more motivated to complain about something that bothers you than to praise something that you enjoyed or that worked well. This was brought home to me last week. My son is in the process of researching college review websites where students and alum write in or are videoed talking about their school. A large number of the hundreds of reviews are negative, no matter what college he looks at. I reminded him—kids who are unhappy with their school are more likely to put it on the record than someone who’s enjoying a mostly positive experience.
We can’t only focus on our reviews and our sales stats. Ultimately, many of us write for ourselves. Even if all my readers abandoned me tomorrow, I’d still be writing. Writing isn’t only a habit, it’s a way of looking at the world. That lens is always there. I write about the things I see, the things I don’t see, the things I wish I saw, the things I’m glad I don’t see. I’m sure if I weren’t writing these things down, I’d end up talking to myself, spilling over with all the ideas that rattle around in my head and all the different character voices that chirp up. Yes, writing is much better than simply being a flaky woman muttering to herself.
Although I’d write if I had no readers…the main reason I write is for my readers. I love hearing about things I’ve done right so that I can duplicate it in future books. I came across an interesting post (in my lurking) recently—“Dear Writers: Success Is Mattering to Somebody” by Kyran Pittman. Her takeaway point (the whole post was inspiring, I thought):
You don’t have to be the next big thing to be a success in writing, or in anything else. You just have to make the next thing that matters to someone and go on to make the next thing after that. One thing that matters after the other, for as long as you can. That’s work anyone can be proud of.
She summed it up well. The reader emails, the positive reviews, the encouraging notes on Facebook—those are what keep me writing in the public area (I’d never stop writing, privately). And they also function as quality control…I hate disappointing readers. That’s the reason I keep plowing ahead, trying to get better, sucking it up during the days when I know I’ve written some really awful passages. I’ll fix the story, I’ll improve, I’ll deliver something for readers to enjoy…and if some don’t enjoy it, I can try to pull out the constructive criticism to build with next time.
What keeps you going?
What keeps me going are posts like this. A great online writing community who are open and honest about their own vulnerabilities, so that when my own Gremlins pop up to drive me to distraction I can remind myself, I’m not alone. I’m not the only one feeling poop.
Reviews are funny things. I’ve had some reviewers say nothing but lovely things about my books only to offer three stars, and others who offer five stars, but tell what they disliked about something. I’m left unclear what to take from either kind of review.
I read a great post (writer escapes me, damn it!) who asked, ‘Do we review self-published books differently to traditional books? Why?’ Most said they did. Seems the SP books receive more of a critique than a review, where TP books received a more simple ‘Yeah, I liked it (or not).
When I read a TP book with bad editing, I blame the publisher. When I read SP with bad editing, I blame the author, but to a large extent understand the financial barriers to accessing the best editors. I like to see a huge effort made, and to be entertained. I don’t expect perfection.
Either way, we need to know why, when someone reviews us less than favourably, to grab a golden nugget of wisdom perhaps (although it’s more likely a matter of taste), because you can’t please everyone, mores the pity. :)
shahwharton.com
Elizabeth – It really is easy to get pulled down by rejection, nasty reviews or flippant comments when you’ve put yourself on the line the way writers do. We put a little of our souls out there when we write, so it’s hard when someone writes something nasty or when that precious story comes back rejected.
But writing is either in you or it’s not. For me anyway, what keeps me going isn’t as much what people say (although of course like anyone, I love it when people like what I write). It’s telling my stories. It’s making those characters and events happen. I’m probably not putting it clearly, but I hope you get what I mean.
Hi Elizabeth,
Thanks for the post. It IS good to step back and focus on the good stuff, understanding that it’s probably the tip of the iceberg.
Here’s the hidden gem I’m taking away: “…I’d still be writing. Writing isn’t only a habit, it’s a way of looking at the world.”
For me too. Just “seeing” is often not that fulfilling, but when I write about what I’ve seen, I seem to experience it to the fullest.
Like you, I can’t “not write.” What keeps me going is one comment from a friend or reader that tells me the story touched them in some way. A friend read my early draft and said she picked it up when she couldn’t sleep due to stress and worry and it made her feel better. I felt like all my hard work was validated in that moment.
Shah–You’re definitely not alone. And you keep going, like most of us do. I’d like for *all* of us to keep going.
It’s been my experience, and what I’ve observed with friends’ books, that Goodreads has traditionally worked on a different scale than Amazon has (and I’m not sure how that will work now that Amazon bought Goodreads). So a “good” review on Goodreads is 3 stars where that would look pretty bad on Amazon. I don’t even look at my Goodreads reviews anymore, so I can’t comment to my reviews there…ha! So that’s a whole other kettle of fish. Maybe some of the Goodreads reviewers think they’re leaving a good review with 3-stars when they review on Amazon.
In the world of professional reviews, you always knew where you stood, at least. Kirkus didn’t pull any punches…and they could eviscerate you with a review–but boy, you knew what they thought was wrong with a book when they were through with you. With consumer reviews, it’s completely different.
Sometimes, with my self-published books, I know that I’m hooking people with a sale who really don’t read my genre on a regular basis (or at all). That’s another problem.
Thanks for coming by!
I loved this article! I, too, believe criticism should be constructive, and, more to the point, specific. Whenever I review a book (or offer criticism to a fellow writer or student in my class), I try to point out the specific elements that work and do not work. Avoiding sarcasm is something else I would like to see less of when writing a book review. As a novelist myself, I know how difficult it is to write ANY book, so I try to remember that when offering criticism or writing reviews.
Great post. I love the title of the blog, too.
I don’t like to disappoint readers either.
I can handle the negative. It does help when that person tells me what he didn’t like though. How can I fix what I don’t know is broken?
My husband wants me to stop writing but what he doesn’t understand is that the stories don’t stop in my head just because I don’t write them down. the characters still shout at me. That being said, I also don’t read any reviews. I write mainly for me and not for others. Great post.
When you get an email from a fan, that can cancel out every bad review. All we need is one person to really get it and enjoy what we write.
Funny about human nature and negativity, isn’t it?
Hi Elizabeth
Great post, thanks
This has come at a timely point for me, following disappointing sales figures for my first novel. Like you, I now couldn’t imagine not writing, but the primary aim behind the writing is to have people read it!
Of course, as I, (and my wife) keeps saying, this is the long haul, and I will get readers one at a time, hopefully. :) Despite knowing this, it has made me have to work a little harder on my motivation, particularly for the less fun, editing/formatting side of things.
Still, I have received a couple of five star reviews, and it’s those things that make it easier. What keeps me going in the long run, is the belief that I am getting better, and writing more compelling stories, and that there is an audience for them, just as soon as I can find them…:)
Thanks again
Mike
Alex–Disappointing readers is the worst!
Clarissa–I don’t even try to explain this to non-writers. :) I think they just can’t get it. It hurts family and friends a lot more than it hurts me to see negative reviews. The reviews exasperate me (especially if they’re not helpful/constructive) more than upset me. But family non-writers will think that it’s crushing. No, they’re definitely not crushing to me. The reviews would make *them* want to quit, but they’re not writers so they can’t offer helpful advice on that. As much as they think they’d know what’s best. Non-writers will also look at things in terms of financial payout in terms of success…but writing isn’t like other industries.
Margot–I know just what you mean. I’d feel almost as if I were committing murder if I stopped writing some of these characters. That sounds so crazy to admit… :)
Diane–The emails are the very best. Because somehow I’m always expecting something negative (I do believe writing has turned me into a cynic, if not a pessimist), and I get something wonderful instead.
Michael–Yes! It’s as if I experience it more deeply when I write about it…and experience it just as deeply when I read what I’ve written about it–even decades later. Gosh, I’ve just had a chill thinking about it, but it’s so true.
Karen–What a great thing to hear! Now *that* is news to keep you going. :)
Once, wearing my other hat – the psychotherapist one – a client told me she was going to stop singing and making music. She was tired of it being so hard. I said ‘right, I think I’ll stop having two arms. I find it makes people expect so much of me.’ She got it. She WAS an artist. No choice there. I don’t care how crumby and lonely and dejected I get from time to time. I’m a writer and writers write – they don’t wait for fame or glory or even a lousy or good review. Writing has to be its own reward – the process that gives so much. Yep. And I concur with some of the others who have commented – posts like this, the online community – very powerful!
Yeah, one or two people RAVING about how they love your stuff makes all the difference, doesn’t it? I have gotten hesitant about reading my cozy reviews, as those go out into the vast world and some people seem to ENJOY being sort of mean. My serial reviews though, have kept my heart thumping. YES, so far I am reaching people who I know or are only one degree away (had one of MY friends recommend it) but it feels so good! (that and all $22 I’ve made so far… never mind that I’ve paid our a lot more than that for editing and covers)
Jan–The online community is incredibly supportive and encouraging. You put it perfectly–yeah, we’ll just stop having the limbs we’ve got. It’s just the same…we can’t just stop being artists. It’s not only the writing…it’s the lens.
Max–Oh, sarcasm is so cutting, for sure. Even bad books had a lot of effort put into them (not *enough* maybe, but lots). :) I think part of my problem is equating customer reviews (which are basically product reviews) with a real critic’s review (whether that’s a book blogger or Kirkus). The readers are just sharing…they’re sharing with their community that they didn’t like something. But they haven’t had a real reviewer’s training to point out *why* they didn’t like it. In some cases, maybe they can’t even put their finger on it. But I can’t help feeling the frustration when I get one that isn’t targeted to a specific problem with the story.
Thanks for coming by!
Hart–I think it would be especially exciting with a serial. Wish I could find the time to try it and find out!
Mike–Oh, for sure–it’s for the long haul. I wrote about that here on the blog last Monday…the slow release. The only thing that really worked for me in terms of getting more sales for the first self-pubbed book was to put out the second one and drastically reduce the price of the first. Now, if it’s trad pubbed, we don’t have those options and it’s a little frustrating. Our only option is to do promo (Goodreads giveaways, etc.)
The reviews help! And that will help Amazon give you some visibility, too. It just takes a while to connect with those readers.
Elizabeth: Your post today stirred me. Boy, can I relate. Thank you for posting this. It is beautifully written and heartfelt, clear, and honest.
I’m working this month as part of NaNoWriMo to try to get the first draft of my mystery finished. (And then the fun begins, I know.)
But yesterday, between worrying about writing the next scene and being down with bronchitis, I was pretty low. I won’t even bore you with the details. Most writers know the same sort of low.
And then a friend called me who is also the mother of one of my tutoring students. She proceeded to wax poetic about how she thinks I’ve helped her and her son, etc., and I nearly wept. I’d had a disappointment the day before that I was still chewing on. You know how it goes, I’m sure.
I so appreciate your remarks about “writing anyway”, even without an audience. But having an audience increases the energy and your purpose, so it surely helps. I agree with you 100%, though, that one life changed by what you write makes it all worthwhile. It is the same way I feel about helping one student learn to read, or learn to read WELL. I probably won’t knock down any major barriers but I can contribute to literacy. Writing is the same type of thing: working with words to reach people.
Your transparency on this blog is a wonder and a delight. It is also undoubtedly why Writer’s Digest honored it. And you.
Please, keep writing. We like reading it out here!
Blessings,
Sarah Gunning Moser
Bellevue, WA
Sarah–Isn’t it amazing that just when we’re feeling extremely low…whether it’s health or our families or our work…something can happen to make us feel it’s all worthwhile?
What you’re doing is incredibly important–giving a child opportunities and a future. And a *reading* future! That’s a huge, huge gift.
I did write for years for myself….all through my twenties. And, I guess, all the growing up years, too. But my intent was always to get my writing to the place where I could share it. The biggest joy for many of us definitely comes with sharing writing with others. Even as a kid, I’d tear stories out of a notebook for grown-ups to read…even adults who visited our house that I didn’t really know. It’s this drive to share our ideas. But if I ever lost that–I’d still be writing. Until I was brave enough to share it again!
Thanks so much for coming by, Sarah, and for the kind words. They do mean a lot! And good luck with NaNo and your mystery. Such a fantastic community there at NaNo…it’s very inspiring for me to visit the forums there.
It’s wonderful when you hear from a reader. I think my favorite times are not praise, though, but when they say something that makes you think “They got it!”
On the other hand, I know that reading a story can be a very private experience for a reader. They may not want to share at all the thing that touched them most.
So as a writer — a creator of dreams — I know I have to live in silence. Never knowing about the things that matter most.
What a wonderful post, Elizabeth!
Here’s what keeps me going:
The success of fellow authors
Readers who enjoyed my book and characters. That they love them as much as I do.
My passion for writing. I love helping writers in my community. Their dreams of success and passion for writing inspires me to be better and reach for more.
Thanks for sharing this!
Great points. What keeps me going is thinking of getting the books out there not as making sales but as connecting with readers. Taking the money out of the equation put more fun and excitement into the writing process.
Elke–I love hearing others’ successes, too…very inspiring.
That supportive community of writers…it really does help to keep us going, doesn’t it? Thanks for sharing in the community.
Carolyn–It’s almost an intimacy, isn’t it? Telling stories to the readers…or even *a* reader.
If someone just says “I didn’t like it” with no feedback, they’re not my audience. I ignore them. I’m not going to adjust one iota in order to please them, because they don’t care or they would have been more specific.
You have NO idea how much this post meant to me. I’ll be releasing my book in a couple of months, and I’m fretting about what readers will think. All I can do is work hard and put my best writing out there. And then write the next book.
I’m also working on a new book. First drafts for me are like pulling teeth. I much prefer revision, when I have something to work with. But I try to not focus on the stinky words that I’ve just written. I’m plowing forward, knowing I’ll make it better.
Thanks so much for the inspiration! I’ll go check out that other post.
The Daring Novelist–Those are definitely the best emails.
Interesting that you should mention not wanting to over-analyze our favorites. Never thought of that. I’ve never left a review for any of my favorite books, come to think of it, and it’s never occurred to me to do so. Maybe it is a really private thing. And…well, those authors have already passed into the great beyond, so they wouldn’t get the warm fuzzies from my reviews anyway. :)
Joel–That’s a very healthy attitude! I need to adopt it. I tend to be Miss Fix-It…and sometimes, there’s just nothing to fix.
Julie–Writing the next book is very distracting! Good therapy and good for the pocketbook, too. :) I’m so glad the post helped. I didn’t realize you were so close to your release! Let me know if you want to guest over here.
The other post is very inspiring, I think. I’ve put the movie she mentioned in the post on my Netflix watch list.
Hi Elizabeth – I can quite see where you’re all coming from as I’ve been around long enough to absorb a writer’s life … and feel the same for the blog, albeit it’s not a book.
But I went to one of our film society films, an Austrian film, last night “Breathing” .. where I didn’t fully get the plot or the raison d’etre – it was an interesting film .. dealing with death and bodies. Linda whom I went with works in social services .. and her father and my mother both ‘recently’ died and it was where we met .. she was able to explain parts to me.
I was there to see the film, I hadn’t obviously read the review properly … but I’d come to see the film – where her training kicked in, so she could see what happened and what was being subtly portrayed. Thank goodness she was around to enlighten me ..
I feel my watching a film rather than thinking any deeper than I did at the time .. is perhaps similar to people reading and reviewing in some ways.
It is easier to be negative than positive .. and I must correct my apathy at leaving reviews ..
Very interesting and enlightening – thanks – Hilary
You’ve done well getting reviews. I feel bad for the poor folk that don’t have any reviews. I try to leave reviews for most things I read and especially am happy when I am the first reviewer. Sad if I remain the only reviewer.
Like getting blog comments, the feedback we get for anything we do is what keeps most of us going I think. Especially when that feedback is at least partially positive and totally encouraging.
Lee
Special report today on the “Story Sprouts” book launch in L.A.
Lot’s of pictures in this one!
Tossing It Out
Hilary–A very good explanation of being presented with a film, book, or other medium that we just don’t ‘get.’ Great to have a sherpa to lead us through it…and maybe that’s in some ways what social reading can provide. Sometimes I don’t *want* to really think when I’m reading…and reviewing does necessitate a bit of analysis to be effective.
Arlee–I know what you mean. I do *some* reviews, but I’m a little uncomfortable at a perceived conflict of interest sometimes. I only leave *good* reviews, let’s put it that way. If I feel negative about a book, I simply don’t review it.
Feedback is so important, I agree. It’s so nice to know that we’re not performing to an empty theater when we’re putting so much into every page.