by Jodie Renner, Editor and Craft-of-Writing Author, @JodieRennerEd
Have you ever been engrossed in a novel
when suddenly the author interrupts the story to give you background on a
character, or detailed technical information about something? Or starts waxing
eloquent about a related topic or a pet cause of theirs?
when suddenly the author interrupts the story to give you background on a
character, or detailed technical information about something? Or starts waxing
eloquent about a related topic or a pet cause of theirs?
Savvy authors know that readers choose
fiction to be entertained and swept away by a compelling story. Halting the
plot to give them information on a technical subject or issue, or even to
clarify something as an author aside, jolts them out of the fictive dream,
interrupts the story line, slows down the pace, and just feels patronizing.
fiction to be entertained and swept away by a compelling story. Halting the
plot to give them information on a technical subject or issue, or even to
clarify something as an author aside, jolts them out of the fictive dream,
interrupts the story line, slows down the pace, and just feels patronizing.
Author intrusions and info dumps come in
various shapes and sizes, but whatever their form, they can be perceived as an
obvious and clumsy attempt by the author to quickly and easily impart some
facts, clarifications, or personal opinions directly to the reader. For this
article, we’ll leave out a discussion of the pitfalls of too much character
backstory, especially early on. For now, we’ll just talk about other kinds of
author intrusions.
various shapes and sizes, but whatever their form, they can be perceived as an
obvious and clumsy attempt by the author to quickly and easily impart some
facts, clarifications, or personal opinions directly to the reader. For this
article, we’ll leave out a discussion of the pitfalls of too much character
backstory, especially early on. For now, we’ll just talk about other kinds of
author intrusions.
SOME
COMMON TYPES OF AUTHOR INTRUSIONS TO AVOID
COMMON TYPES OF AUTHOR INTRUSIONS TO AVOID
~ Info
dumps
dumps
Readers like to stay immersed in the
story, not be pulled out of it to be given a lengthy explanation of something
as an aside by the author. This can include long, detailed explanations of a
specific type of gun, for example, or stopping the story to describe in detail
how fingerprints are retrieved, processed, analyzed, and fed into data systems.
story, not be pulled out of it to be given a lengthy explanation of something
as an aside by the author. This can include long, detailed explanations of a
specific type of gun, for example, or stopping the story to describe in detail
how fingerprints are retrieved, processed, analyzed, and fed into data systems.
Yes, do your research, for sure. But pick
and choose what you actually share with your readers, and blend the info in in
a natural way, filtered through the point of view of the viewpoint character or
revealed in the course of dialogue, preferably with some tension and attitude
thrown in.
and choose what you actually share with your readers, and blend the info in in
a natural way, filtered through the point of view of the viewpoint character or
revealed in the course of dialogue, preferably with some tension and attitude
thrown in.
~
Soap-boxing about an issue or cause
Soap-boxing about an issue or cause
Maybe you’d like to increase
consciousness about worthy topics such as the plight of whales or the lack of
clean water worldwide, or unfair treatment of minorities, or lack of green
spaces.
consciousness about worthy topics such as the plight of whales or the lack of
clean water worldwide, or unfair treatment of minorities, or lack of green
spaces.
Sure, go ahead and insert allusions to
social issues here and there in your novel, as long as you have a character who
is passionate about that issue and knowledgeable. It can work in small doses,
as long as you don’t go on so long about it that it comes across as preaching.
And of course it needs to fit naturally in the scene and match the character’s
personality, politics and thoughts.
social issues here and there in your novel, as long as you have a character who
is passionate about that issue and knowledgeable. It can work in small doses,
as long as you don’t go on so long about it that it comes across as preaching.
And of course it needs to fit naturally in the scene and match the character’s
personality, politics and thoughts.
~
Lecturing in disguise
Lecturing in disguise
Say you want to write a Raiders of the Lost Ark type of adventure
story because you’re passionate about Aztecs and Aztec ruins and want to tell
the world about this fascinating subject. So you have a main character who’s an
archaeologist, and because you can’t resist sharing your knowledge, you have this
character giving frequent impromptu detailed lectures on Aztec history and
culture to anyone who will listen. Not a good idea.
story because you’re passionate about Aztecs and Aztec ruins and want to tell
the world about this fascinating subject. So you have a main character who’s an
archaeologist, and because you can’t resist sharing your knowledge, you have this
character giving frequent impromptu detailed lectures on Aztec history and
culture to anyone who will listen. Not a good idea.
Just drop in a few tantalizing tidbits
here and there to pique your readers’ interest. If you get them curious enough,
they can easily Google Aztecs (or whoever or whatever you’re highlighting in
your story) and find out a lot more about the topic. You could even add some
info at the end of the story somehow, as an Afterword or Glossary or related
links or whatever.
here and there to pique your readers’ interest. If you get them curious enough,
they can easily Google Aztecs (or whoever or whatever you’re highlighting in
your story) and find out a lot more about the topic. You could even add some
info at the end of the story somehow, as an Afterword or Glossary or related
links or whatever.
~ Dumping
into dialogue
into dialogue
Don’t let your characters lecture in
dialogue, either. It’s just not natural, and will bore the readers just as much
as an author aside or intrusion. Avoid “info dumps” in the guise of dialogue –
in real life, no one likes to be lectured to in a casual conversation.
dialogue, either. It’s just not natural, and will bore the readers just as much
as an author aside or intrusion. Avoid “info dumps” in the guise of dialogue –
in real life, no one likes to be lectured to in a casual conversation.
Replace long monologues of information
with questions and answers or a lively discussion, and keep it relevant to the
scene question. And, for more interest, insert some attitude and tension in the
give-and-take – a little (or a lot) of arguing about facts, or their
significance, for example.
with questions and answers or a lively discussion, and keep it relevant to the
scene question. And, for more interest, insert some attitude and tension in the
give-and-take – a little (or a lot) of arguing about facts, or their
significance, for example.
~ AYKB –
“As you know, Bob…”
“As you know, Bob…”
This is where the author has one person
telling another a bunch of stuff they both know, just to impart that
information to the reader. Here’s an exaggerated example, to illustrate:
telling another a bunch of stuff they both know, just to impart that
information to the reader. Here’s an exaggerated example, to illustrate:
Ralph said to his
brother, “As you know, Bob, our parents were both killed in a car crash when we
were young, and we were raised by our grandparents.”
brother, “As you know, Bob, our parents were both killed in a car crash when we
were young, and we were raised by our grandparents.”
Readers today are too sophisticated to go
for this type of amateurish information-sharing, and if you do it too often,
it’s sure to lose you respect and credibility.
for this type of amateurish information-sharing, and if you do it too often,
it’s sure to lose you respect and credibility.
No dumping
here, please!
here, please!
So be careful not to dump a bunch of
factual information willy-nilly into your story. A novel or short story is no
place to go into a lot of detail on a technical subject – or to get on your
soapbox about a topic that’s dear to your heart or makes your blood boil.
Readers will feel annoyed, patronized or manipulated, when what they really
want is to be entertained and captivated by your tale.
factual information willy-nilly into your story. A novel or short story is no
place to go into a lot of detail on a technical subject – or to get on your
soapbox about a topic that’s dear to your heart or makes your blood boil.
Readers will feel annoyed, patronized or manipulated, when what they really
want is to be entertained and captivated by your tale.
Remember, if any readers want to know
more about a topic, they can always Google the topic. Leave the lectures for
the classroom, articles, or nonfiction books – the goal of fiction is to
entertain the readers with a riveting story. Period.
more about a topic, they can always Google the topic. Leave the lectures for
the classroom, articles, or nonfiction books – the goal of fiction is to
entertain the readers with a riveting story. Period.
For more on this topic,
plus an excellent example from Robert Crais of how to impart technical info in
a natural, compelling way, see my recent blog post “Info with Attitude – Strategies for Turning Impersonal Info Dumps
into Compelling Copy” at The Kill Zone
blog.
plus an excellent example from Robert Crais of how to impart technical info in
a natural, compelling way, see my recent blog post “Info with Attitude – Strategies for Turning Impersonal Info Dumps
into Compelling Copy” at The Kill Zone
blog.
Jodie
Renner is a freelance fiction editor who specializes in thrillers, mysteries,
and other fast-paced fiction. For more info on Jodie’s editing services and her
books, please visit her website.
Jodie has published two books to date in her
series, An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: Writing a Killer Thriller, a short e-book, and Style That Sizzles & Pacing for Power, which is available in paperback, as an e-book on Kindle, and in other e-book formats. And you don’t need to own an e-reader to purchase and enjoy e-books.
You can download them to your computer, tablet, or smartphone.
Elizabeth – Thanks for hosting Jodie.
Jodie – You’re absolutely right that any thing that pulls the reader out of the story is going to lessen the story’s impact. There are ways to avoid interrupting the pace and flow and I agree that it’s important to tell the story rather than tell about the story. Those are excellent ideas too – thanks.
I think information emerging in stories needs to be natural — or I shut down.
Thanks for the great post, both of you!!
Thanks so much for posting today, Jodie!
Oh, I have a particular problem with authors on soap boxes. If it doesn’t ring true for the character who is espousing the belief, it drags me out of the story immediately. Such good points here…thanks!
Thank you so much for having me back on your fabulous blog, Elizabeth! It’s an honor to be here today, sharing my thoughts on how to write compelling fiction.
I absolutely agree, Teresa. Keep us in the story, immersed in the fictive dream! We don’t want to think about the author or their opinions. Thanks for commenting.
Jodie, your “As you know, Bob…” cracked me up! That is hilarious, and so true! When authors do that, it’s very blatant — and lazy.
As a thriller author, I find that authors in the thriller genre have a tendency to do info dumps on technical stuff — they’ve done so much research on AK-47s that they want to tell you everything they know! Not only is that not necessary, but, as you say, intrusive. Less is very often more. Great post!
Michael Crichton created the perfect blend of “doing it right” with all of these. Loads of scientific information, always a moral agenda, and yet, as long as you LIKE the science stuff, I never felt it intruded on the story. I WANTED to know the science, so I could get deeper into the story.
Since writers tend to find ourselves fascinating, this is always a danger. “No dumping” is worthy of its own round of edits.
Thanks, Dina. I agree. Sometimes authors put so much work into researching a topic that they feel they need to justify the time spent by including more of this detail than readers really want to hear, or the story needs for comprehension. And too often it becomes obvious that the author is stepping in to address the readers, instead of letting the characters run the show, as they should.
Joel, you raise a whole new issue. There will always be readers who are really into the topic and want to know more about it. But I doubt they outnumber the “general interest” readers who just want to be entertained with an engrossing story. Maybe authors could add a glossary or appendix at the end with more detail, including links? This would work especially well with e-books, with live links to online sites or other books dealing with that topic.
And also, bestselling “niche” authors like Michael Crichton have enough like-minded fans that they can afford to get into more technical details than a new, unknown author who is trying to establish a fan base.
You do make a good point, though – maybe readers of military thrillers or combat action-adventure stories will lap up all the info they can get on specific weaponry and how it compares?
Joel/Jodie: I happen to be a huge fan of Michael Crichton’s work, and I’ve always said that he has a knack for incorporating science into a narrative like nobody’s business! It never feels like an info dump — instead, it’s woven carefully through the story. He’s one of the few who have done it right.
Dina and Joel, it looks like Michael Crichton is an author to read for how to impart relevant info without jarring the reader out of the story, but rather enhancing the story and reader engagement.
I try not to dump in any of those areas. I’m such a sparse writer, there’s just not room for a dump.
Excellent tips. I really hate in some thrillers when a guy is getting shot at and he thinks ‘oh, the guy is using an AK-47, I can tell by the sound the bullet makes as it whizzes over my head.’ Not just like that, of course, but in that vein. And the same when he pulls his own weapon, with different information.
Hi, Elizabeth!
The “As you know, Bob” was funny, but I’ve seen it. When both character already know and are just stating the obvious (to them) it’s very apparent.
Alex, I’ve never read any of your writing, but if you’re a really sparse writer, I do caution you to be sure to show character reactions, to flesh them out and bring them to life on the page.
Diane, I agree – the AYKB thing is obvious and a sign of hasty or amateurish writing.
Yes, Carol, as if someone has time to think of those details when they’re being shot at or defending themselves! LOL!
Lee Child dumps info about NYC subway cars in large doses in the beginning of “Gone Tomorrow”. He does something similar in virtually every book, yet he makes it fascinating. What makes the way he does it work when others only fail?
Peace, Seeley
Part of what made Crichton successful at it was that he knew his audience. We WANT that information.
Another winner was Dick Francis. Though all his mysteries were based around his own area of expertise, horse racing, each protagonist was an expert in some other field, which Francis, his wife, and his son researched intensely.
The stories always hinge on the protagonist’s area of expertise, and Francis built enough information into his writing so that when the end comes, you get it. Yet he does it so skillfully that I’ve never thought of it from this perspective until now.
Seeley, I think Lee Child has such a great voice and storytelling ability that he’s another author readers will forgive any kind of self-indulgence because we know we’re in for a great ride, no matter what.
I read Gone Tomorrow a year or two ago and loved it, and can’t recall a lot of info dumping, so there you are! Another example of how bestselling authors and skillful storytellers can get away with a lot of stuff that a new author would be criticized for.
Good points, Joel. Thanks for your input into this subject. :)
Great post, Jodie! Once you become aware of description dumps, they become distracting. It’s amazing how many authors do it, though–they dump a character description (“She was tall, with brown hair and green eyes”) right after a character enters a scene.