It was a big weekend for me, promotion-wise. Saturday I spoke at a writers’ workshop at the Gaston County Library in Gastonia, NC. There were around 75 people there, which is a good-sized group. Yesterday I spoke with my promotional group, The Carolina Conspiracy, at the Waldenbooks at the Carolina Mall in Concord, NC. It went well, too ( but I felt more distracted since my eight year old daughter was with me.)
One thing I picked up on from both workshops was the interest that writers in the audience had in handling rejection. Lynette Hall Hampton spoke on the topic and Joyce Lavene said a few words, as well. People actually spoke out in the middle of the workshop and thanked them for their encouragement.
Submitting material to agents and editors is very difficult.
It feels terrible to get rejected.
We all get rejected.
Lynette talked about the huge number of rejections that she’s gotten in a long career of writing for periodicals and writing books.
Joyce (who has co-authored nearly 60 books with her husband for Berkley Prime Crime, Midnight Ink, Avalon, and others) spoke about planning for rejection. To actually expect the rejections in advance and what your plan for the rejection letters would be: a bonfire, a bathroom papered with them (both have been done by writers she knows), or a treat you give yourself the day you get a bad email or letter.
I have a whole drawer of rejections. I don’t know why I keep them. But they’re there. I was actually rejected by my current agent before. And by many other agents and publishers. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been rejected.
Joyce mentioned a great point: remember the rejection is a business decision. It’s nothing personal. It might be the right project, but at the wrong time. Continue submitting.
I got rejections.
Things that helped me deal with them:
Feeling I was cheating a little bit. I never followed the ‘no simultaneous submissions’ rule. But I made sure that everyone who did get a query letter from me was well-targeted and researched. I made sure they published the kind of book I wrote: both the subject matter and word count. I went to the bookstore and found books that were similar to mine and got the publisher’s name and the author’s agent and editor’s name (nearly always included in the grateful author’s acknowledgements.) For some reason, this tiny little rebellion made me feel more in control.
Finding publishers that didn’t require I have an agent. Read: smaller national publishers. This could be Bleak House, Poisoned Pen, Midnight Ink, Avalon. They’re big enough if you’re starting out. They’ll put you in the bookstores. Your print run might be smaller, but you’ll sell-through your advance quicker. I was not finding it easy to get an agent, so I decided to go right to the source. And this worked for me. (Now I do have an agent…a must when dealing with a big publisher like Berkley Prime Crime/Penguin Books.)
Working on different projects. I decided it wasn’t wise to write a sequel for a book that hadn’t been accepted by a publisher. So I started writing something completely different, to distract me.
Finally…I got an acceptance email. And another acceptance email.
Keep at it. Don’t get discouraged. Know the rules and follow them…to a point. Make your submissions well-targeted and well-written.
Expect rejections.
And keep on writing.
Wow! I can’t believe I’m the first one with a comment. Usually I’m like number 28. Anyway. rejection doesn’t bother me. It comes with the territory. See my blog about my technical failure with the Mensa presentation from a couple weeks ago.
But keeping my chin up, some of the members have been asking me to meet them at lunch once a week for good food and lively discussion. So all is not lost wehen you feel failure and rejection. From the ashes your Phoenix can arise and find new opportunities.
Stephen Tremp
Helpful post, Elizabeth. Rejection is definitely a part of a writer’s life, and I’ve found that two things help me. One is that I don’t take them personally (I still don’t like them, but I know they’re not personal). The other is exactly what Jane said: you can learn from rejections. If you can find out what went wrong, sometimes it does help in making a story better. Thanks for making me think about that.
It’s still hard to take a rejection ‘in stride’ but they’re part of the way the business operates. Agents get hundreds of queries a week; they can’t take them all, even if they were all perfect fits. Rejoice in the baby steps, from form rejection, to personalized, to one with a hand-written note, or just laugh at them: My “favorite” form rejection:
“We did review your proposal, and for some reason we don’t feel we can represent it. Some of them come close, and yours may well be one of those, but we do have our reasons for declining.”
When the rejections start tell you why, you’re making progress. Of course, when they all have different reasons, it’s hard to know what to do. One agent said, “look at the parts they liked; eventually you’ll find someone who likes all the pieces.”
Excellent post, Elizabeth. You’re right, everyone deals with rejection. It’s hard, but it is part of the business. Sometimes, even though you are receiving a rejection, there will actually be an encouraging comment that comes with it – makes it a little easier. I like your idea of continuing with other projects to keep moving forward.
Nancy, from Realms of Thought…
Thanks, Elizabeth. I have heard of several authors hosting bonfires to dispose of their pile of rejection letters. I just put mine from my first book into a box. I thought about throwing them away, but for some reason, I kept them. A dear writing friend once told me that rejections mean you’re doing something. If you never get a rejection, it means you aren’t sending your book out. This is so true. I haven’t received one single rejection for my recent book! Then again, no one in publishing land knows it exists yet :) Time to gear up for another rejection. I’m just hoping this time, it’s followed by an acceptance.
Happy Monday,
Jen
Sometimes rejections can actually be helpful. I received one that told me why it didn’t work for her. I thought her points were valid so I went back and made some changes that improved the flow of the story and helped me get it published.
A wonderful post again, Elizabeth full of good advice. I try to hope for the best, but expect the worst. To not expect rejections is somewhat foolhardy, but a human trait nonetheless!
Elspeth
Excellent post, Elizabeth, but I believe you’ve let out some crucial components – self-publishing, the Internet and social networking.
I went through the traditional query/sample chapters/rejection route for both my books. About 15 rejections for each, not much, but enough to send me into a profound depression. The standard advice – “buck up, get over it, everyone gets rejected” – may be OK for some, but not for people for whom depression can be truly dangerous, like me (I’m bipolar).
Self publishing quite literally saved my life. And now with online social networking and blogging, I think I’m about to make it to the next level. I’ve been working hard on the Poinsoned Pen Web Con, setting up panels, and the other day I got a comment from the founder and publisher of Poisoned Pen Press, thanking me for my work and ending with “Keep the faith.”
How long do you think it would have taken me to get to him the traditional way? They’re not even taking submissions right now. I rest my case.
Julie Lomoe’s Musings Mysterioso
http://julielomoe.wordpress.com
Thanks for sharing your experiences with rejection. Rejection stings for a while, but every so often one of those rejections will come with some feedback to soften the blow and help me to be a better writer. I tell myself that every email or other response from an agent will be a rejection, that way I’m pleasantly surprised if it’s a request.
I LOOOOOVE this post, Elizabeth! It’s reassuring knowing we all experience the lows of rejection. I love your idea of treating yourself to something on days you receive a rejection. Brilliant! I usually send more queries out, but a treat wouldn’t hurt either! I’m having pretty good response to the project I’m querying. Keeping fingers crossed and all. I started writing the second in the series, but got sidetracked with a totally different project in a whole new genre. I’m so busy writing, I’m thinking about the fulls and partials I’ve got out much less. Continuing on with the next project is always the best medicine. ;-)
OK here’s how I found works best. I have, in my office, a special drawer where I keep all the rejection letters. Hard copies. If it’s an e-rejection, I print it out. When I need some motivation, I pull them out and read them. This motivates me – I will show them – I will prove them ALL wrong and they will one day be very sorry they passed on the chance to land THIS author!
The Old Silly
Stephen–That’s a wonderfully healthy attitude! I don’t think MENSA would have anything to do with me. :) Not qualified.
Nancy–The other projects helped, even if I haven’t finished one of them (interrupted by the acceptance of “Pretty is”.)
Jane–That must have been someone very interested in your book! Good for you for revising using their suggestions.
Margot–I know I took them personally at first. Then I got so darn many of them that I couldn’t respond to them that way!
Terry–You’re right–some rejections can be very encouraging. I really treasured those.
Julie–You’ve made a very good point. I’m going to take it a step further and say that I might shy away from the expense of self-publishing and focus on e-reader e-texts. Not as much of an investment and the readers are avid for more e-books.
Julie, I’d encourage you to keep submitting to traditional publishers, too. Continue with the road you’re currently heading down, but also keep sending out queries–include small publishers like Poisoned Pen (as you mentioned) in your targeted group. But absolutely–it’s a whole new world out there and traditional publishing isn’t the only game in town.
Marvin–I wonder if that’s why I keep mine, too? I do look at them sometimes.
Jen–That’s a GREAT way of looking at it. If we don’t go for it, we’re not even giving ourselves a chance.
Great Post. Rejections are inevitable in this industry. I think we just need to learn from them and keep on working!
I’m in query mode now. And drafting a new manuscript. All the new characters keep my mind occupied. It’s a good thing.
I love all the advice and positive thinking, but I can’t move past rejection until I’ve had chocolate and possibly a bath. :)
The nice thing about rejection is that it prepares you to loosen your emotional connection to your piece. Once something is published, it’s not just your baby anymore. It belongs to the world!
Marybeth–Very true!
Elspeth–Very human. And it’s the underlying hope that really keeps us going and submitting, after all.
TereLiz–I think that’s the best way to handle it. Expecting the worst sounds horrible, but it helped me not get my hopes up (and dashed. And up…and dashed.)
Debra–I think so, too. Otherwise, it’s just like waiting for the pot to boil. Every time I wander away from the kitchen, it happens–if I’m sitting on my kitchen stool, it takes a whole lot longer.
Excellent post, Elizabeth. Target your queries and keep working on other projects while you wait to hear back and send out more queries. And if you try one avenue to publication and it isn’t working, take a different road. You’re definitely a role model to follow.
Helen
Straight From Hel
Helen–I really do have to recommend a smaller press to use as a platform and to build a readership. And they’re wonderful to work with.
Thanks for the encouraging post, Elizabeth. Well written and full of practical advice that every writer can use.
Thanks for sharing!
Kathleen–Thanks so much! And thanks for coming by.
Rejections happen, but thanks for giving me a new perspective on them. Maybe put them in a binder and alter them for some mixed media art?
I love how the folks in the writing community are so up front and honest about rejection. It’s not hidden, nothing to be ashamed of. It is part of the process. Realizing that was a big moment for me. That realization enabled me to finally take the plunge and send out my first batch of queries a few weeks ago. I wasn’t devastated when the first rejection came in – in fact, it oddly made me feel more like a “real writer”. I firmly believe the writing community is one of the strongest and most giving out there. :)
It’s hard to believe you’d ever be rejected for a writing project, Elizabeth. It must simply have been the right book at the wrong time. How could anyone not like Myrtle, for example? I want her to adopt me.
Best Regards, Galen
Imagineering Fiction Blog
Galen–Wish they hadn’t, but they did. Some didn’t like Southern settings they said. Some didn’t think I had enough of a hook. Some had decided to close out submissions for a year. Lots of no’s…
W–Chocolate! My favorite treat for myself when I got a rotten email or letter. :)
A little emotional distance is a good thing…and protects us against tough revisions with editors and negative reviews after the book is published.
Janel–Love that idea! A little mosaic. Maybe we could even alter the mosaic to make it an enthusiastic ‘yes?’ :)
Jemi–You’re right. I think it’s because it’s such a universal experience. You look at the most successful authors today, and they all have their own rejection stories. The writing community is truly incredible.
Thanks Elizabeth, I like your idea about going direct. I got about under 10 rejections so far, in my short writing career. I just filed them away, no celebration yet.
Bargain with the Devil
Enid–Going direct makes sense–there’s plenty of publishers out there that don’t require an agent. Good luck!
Rejections are like pavers in a walkway. You can’t get to where you’re going without getting a bunch under your feet.
Or something like that.
For me, I plan on making a collage from all my future rejections. Paint, glitter, anything I want. It will hang in my office for all time, a reminder in my mind that these agents wanted me to be the best author I could be before sending my books out into the greater world. It will be a positive collage, created from words that others would consider negative. Of course each rejection letter is gonna sting, leave little paper cuts in my heart, but those heal, and quickly.
And quite frankly, I can’t wait for the first rejection letter. Odd as it may sound, it’s like that is when I’ll feel like I’m truly an author, and not just playing at one. Cheers!
Also, have any of you guys seen this website?
http://www.rejectioncollection.com/
These people have quite obviously done the WRONG thing with their rejection letters. They’re burning bridges faster than they’ve made them. General advise – DON”T EVER POST TO THESE TYPES OF SITES! Agents do find them, browse them, and will probably figure out it was their letter, or their agent friend’s letter, and then figure out it was YOU, and that doesn’t make for any niceties in the future, now does it. Heck, I followed that link from – you guessed it, one agent blog and one editors blog.
Read them, laugh at them, but for goodness sake don’t JOIN them.
^_^
Paradoxically, I have three rejections which are one of the reasons why I have not given up.
They are all written by the same editor (from one of the large Danish publishing houses), and contrary to what I had expected, this man from one of the large publishers has taken the time to tell me that though he saw some weaknesses in my work, I had potential and wrote well. So these rejections were disappointments, obviously, but they did not hurt, and they have made me believe that once the global crisis is over I may also have a chance.
Excellent post, Elizabeth. My way of dealing with rejection is to avoid rejection altogether. Which is probably why I haven’t kickstarted myself to start writing my first book – if I don’t write the book, I don’t have to submit it for publication, and if I don’t submit it for publication, I don’t have to have to deal with rejection.
You’ve motivated me to get moving. And dealing with rejection, by confronting it.
Thank you!
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