My husband spent five years working at Microsoft (the North Carolina division) before switching to his current corporation. It’s easy to get burned out at Microsoft.
I’d drive out there once a week or more for lunch with him. They actually had a food court in the building with real chefs.
The interesting thing about Microsoft was that nearly everyone there was genius material. And…different in appearance and demeanor (lots of long beards, flip flops, unusual clothing choices…quite a few nerds), but very nice. My IQ jumped just from being in the same building with them.
And when the Microsofties all got together—the ideas they bounced off each other and the information they exchanged was incredible. They fed off each other. I didn’t know what the heck they were talking about, but I was the good spouse and nodded along and said, “Right!” every once and a while in agreement.
At the time (2003-ish) I thought how nice it was to have professional peers to bounce ideas off of. I was struggling to find critique groups and writing organizations that fit my needs. And, five or six years ago, the online community of writers really wasn’t out there. I was online, looking for it—but, beside a few forums, there wasn’t too much there. And I was primarily housebound with my then-two year old daughter—I needed something online.
Now, of course, with the advent of social media and real-time conversations, we benefit from a worldwide network of writers. And the writing community is incredibly generous with its time. I can match my development as a writer to the point when the online community took off.
More difficult for me are face-to-face meetings. I’m a wretched club member. As I mentioned yesterday, I’m not a follower. I’m crummy at meetings, I don’t remember names well, I have absolutely no time. And I’m reluctant to socialize. My modus operandi has been to join writing organizations, pay my dues faithfully, and then become a lapsed member.
The one exception has been the Carolina Conspiracy, a group of mystery writers here in the Carolinas. They’ve all written much longer than I have and I love getting together with them and exchanging ideas about writing, publishing, and marketing. We all had lunch on Saturday and I’m sure the restaurant was fed up with us by the time we left three hours later.
I’m a lapsed member of several different organizations—and there are three or four I know I should belong to (Mystery Writers of America being one of them.) But I feel so much support from the online community that I don’t really feel the need to reach out.
But I’m beginning to reconsider the local writing groups. I’m waffling. I remember how much my husband benefited from his in-person exchanges at Microsoft. And how much I enjoy hanging out with writers in the Carolina Conspiracy. My children are older and it’s easier for me to get away.
If I belong to a group, would they be okay with me not leading? With not following? With just taking lots of notes and sometimes piping up a contribution? But then I feel guilty because it’s really me taking and not giving as much. (Yes, I overthink things.)
I like to learn. I’m all about learning. I’m wondering if I’m missing out, somehow.
How about you? Besides sitting down every day and practicing the craft, how are you learning? Critique groups? Online? Are there places where you lurk online or do you get more out of an exchange? Do you belong to any local writing organizations?
Elizabeth – Like you, I’ve found incredible support from other writers online. I learn so much from the rest of you, and I’m very grateful for that. As far as getting face-to-face ideas, I do a little of that, too – perhaps not as much as I should. One of the beauties of online as opposed to face-to-face interactions is that they’re asynchronous. So it’s so much easier to fit learning from other writers into the rest of a hectic life. You’ve made me think about what else I need to do in that area, though – thanks! : )
The online community is wonderful, and I’ve learned so much. Can it get better than this? Should I be joining a writer’s group? I ask myself these questions every once in a while, then I come up with excuses: I don’t want to go on weekends or evenings. That’s my writing time (or chilling out time). I work the rest of the day, and if I managed to get up really early, would there be any other writer’s awake? And, if there was a 7 am group, would I be conscious enough to reap any benefits from it? …And so on… You see why I haven’t joined a group yet. But, like a healthy diet and regular exercise, I think it would be *good* for me. I’ll do it soon…after I have a banana split.
I’m a member at TheNextBigWriter. I joined a year ago, and you’re absolutely right: Just being amongst other writers in my stage of the writing process has been an immense help. I’ve built some lifelong friendships there and am, as a writer, learning so much.
Writing is a solo affair, but the business of writing requires consultation with like-minded people. The online community is exceptional, and I shan’t leave it, but I’m also looking forward to some face-to-face groups as I advance as a writer. As of yet, I’m very new to all this and still feeling my way.
I just began blogging a couple weeks ago, and I’ll say the base of folks here is wonderful as well. At TheNextBigWriter I’m learning to craft my writing, while amongst the bloggers I’m developing more in the awareness of marketing?
Both are invaluable sources of both friendship and knowledge, IMO.
All the best,
Corra
In Corra’s Words
I recently checked with my librarian to see if there are any local groups meeting in town. Surprisingly the librarian gave me three different groups. I haven’t contacted any of them yet and am a little afraid to do so. I have such limited free time and my fear is that if I go, and it’s a waste of time, then how will I get out of the group graciously! So, for now, I’m sticking with online groups!
Elizabeth, I feel exactly the same way! The online community has been wonderful because it fits my in my time as much or as little as I want. And all of you have been so open to sharing your ideas and your books, answering my New Writer questions, and welcoming me into online groups. How else would we meet people like Lorel, who is in Australia? Plus there’s the fact that so much book PR is going digital.
My children are 4 and 20 months. I can’t commit to weekly or bimonthly meetings. So for now, this is it.
I would love a face-to-face critique group, some people I could really laugh with about my silly mistakes, or cry with over rejection letters. But that hardcore group is hard to find and put together. It may have to be virtual for now!
It sounds like Carolina Conspiracy is wonderful for you!
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
There are great online workshops for the emerging writers out there. I was on Urbis.com for a few years and I made several long-term writing buddies there.
BUT… once you “go pro” however, it does seem to be rather laborious when it comes to writing workshops. The “lapsing” you described is exactly what happened on my writing course.
It makes me think that bloody-mindedness and mad ambition are really quite essential for new writers. Stickability!
The online community has been amazing – I’ve learned so much from other writers, and I’ve been blown away by how supportive everyone is. Blogs like yours are a wonderful source of information and inspiration.
I’ve tried a couple of “real life” groups, but I haven’t found one yet that resonated with me. Also, like Lorel, I find the time factor a challenge. It’s so much easier to pop online for a chat or Twitter exchange or something along those lines than to actually get in the car and go someplace.
I recently went to my first writers conference, and I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed that. Maybe that will turn out to be a good balance for me – conferences and intense face to face interaction for a few days, then back to the world of online connections.
Your post makes me want to find a “real world” writing group!
The online writing community was what made me consider trying to publish. I’ve only ever written for myself. Writers truly are amazing people!
Thanks for your helpful post today…lots of great info.
I am learning the craft recently from reading blogs like your own. Also, I read recommended books on writing and I am always taking some writing course.
Thanks for the post!
Great questions!
I do/have done many different things, and I think which avenues you choose depend on your goals.
For improving writing, workshops were very helpful, but getting into a good, tight critique was invaluable (I know, they are time intensive and hard to find). For different genres, I’ve also found on-line critique partners, which have worked, but are more hit-and-miss.
Also, I read a lot of writing blogs. Some help and some don’t, but most are fairly entertaining.
For professional development (ie, networking and learning about the biz), organizations have been great for me. I belong to MWA (and will be volunteering to “help out” in the coming year) and to ITW (where I volunteer with website editing).
The toughest thing? Finding activities that are “worth the time.”
I belong to my local RWA chapter, as well as the Florida MWA chapter. I also have on line crit partners.
What I don’t have right now, and what I miss, is the F2F live group for brainstormiing. I’m comfortable with my writing mechanics, but there’s something about being able to bounce ideas off live human beings who can see things that might never occur to you. (And yet again, we’re in synch, although my blog post that touches on this won’t hit the screen until Thursday. I’ll be out of town for a week and was trying to blog ahead!)
I’m actually thinking of starting a writers group here locally, also. I’ve gone a few years without being part of a group because I’ve endured too many meetings where 90 percent of the people only wanted to TALK about writing instead of actually writing. But I’ve decided it might be worth it even if only a couple others are serious about their writing. Thanks for the post, Elizabeth.
Interesting questions. I’m pretty housebound with my three year old. It’s enough just to try and find the time to actually write. I did, however, find my two crit partners through social networking, and I can’t tell you how excited I am about it. I would never have met them otherwise, and we suit one another well. someday, I may reach out to a writer’s group in the community, but for now, I’m fairly content.
Definitely online–blogs. And by reading books on writing. I’m a little late to that. I really only read stories, so books on craft didn’t interest me until this fall. Now I’m devouring them.
Taking on writing as serious work is so new to me that I haven’t joined any groups. But God has placed people in my life who write and who are excited about the written word. I have realized that these relationships are HIS GIFTS to me. I benefit so much from the input of these friends.
I’m housebound with a toddler and also have no writing groups near me. I’ve just set up a social network on Ning for writers to try and connect online, as the people I’ve ‘met’ on Twitter and blogs so far are amazing sources of support and inspiration. If anyone’s interested it’s at writingcafe.ning.com.
Thanks for the post, very timely for me!
hmmm…seems like a balance is best for me. I have a writing buddy. We get together and write in the same room once a week. We’ve done that for over ten years. We share the highs and lows and lunch. I also have a writing group of five friends but we’ve fallen somewhat apart – as a writing group that is. Our friendships are still intact. My biggest complaint with that group is that they really don’t want to be writers – they just want to write. For a long time (group 17 years old) that was fine for me – but not now. Now, I get frustrated when we get together and talk. I have a thirst for writing and I want groups or individuals who will challenge me. My only complaint with the online gang I communicate with is that we really don’t know each others’ writing except for the blogs or unless we pick up something the others have published. I don’t want to belong to a forum because I’ve done that and I found them to be…er…too…young? I am old enough to take some real criticism – or strong enough for I’m sure it has little to do with age. Where can I get that?
I participate online as well. I was with a local writers group several years ago, but I found it discouraging rather than encouraging. I don’t have a lot of ‘free time’ either. I don’t belong to a national group, because there’s really not one for my main genre, YA. (On the non-fiction side, I do belong to the NSA. They’re speakers first, but all are writers as well.)
I like the term Microsofties! Will have to remember that…
Online for me…it fits into my schedule and I don’t have to put on make up!
Seriously, this online group of writers is fantastic. I’ve learned a great deal from people’s blogs and articles. It also helps to know I’m not alone in the world! Where else could I be in contact with people from every part of the globe?
However…sometimes real contact would be nice. I tend to avoid formal groups because I always seem to end up being the one in charge.
Elspeth
As you pointed out, writing groups can be extremely valuable for inspiration and business insight. I help run three of them and write a book on getting the most out of writing groups “Writer’s Secret, Mastermind Your Way to Publishing Success”. The wonderful thing is that we all move in and out of different phases of our lives and writing where different kinds of groups work better. So an online may work when you have infants, but an in-person group might give a needed break when you have teenagers in the house.
Either way, you get out of them what you put in. You can start by just taking notes and absorbing the floating muses, then work your way up to sharing and leading as you feel comfortable.
It definitely looks like the subject of writing groups has hit a popular note with your readers, so keep meeting, keep writing and keep connecting.
Corra–You’re certainly starting off on the right foot! I saw you on Twitter, too. I think face-to-face, time permitting, can be really useful. Thanks for your blog link…I’ll check it out!
Margot–I feel that way, too–we can check in when we have a minute. Much nicer.
Lorel–Can I have a banana split, too? :) I feel like you do…it’s something that would be good for me, but it’s not appealing to stick my neck out.
Jody–You’re so RIGHT. Once you go, then you’re almost stuck going. I know one writer who went to a group for the second time and ended up going home a vice president of the group! Ack. Maybe one day I’ll have that kind of time.
Michele–As moms, online really does work the best. My daughter is home from elementary school at 2, so the roaming around part of my day usually ends then.
Finding the right group, like you mentioned, is really the challenge.
M.J.–This is something I can’t believe I failed to mention. I’ve also gotten so many benefits from online workshops. Most of them are inexpensive (the RWA puts on a lot of them), and they’re very useful.
Ingrid–Our schedules are the challenge, aren’t they? One of the last in-person groups I went to were scheduling an appearance at a craft fair when I attended the meeting. Who was going to bring such-and-so? Who was going to help set up? Take down? I was in a panic. No time for that kind of thing–barely enough time for what I’ve already got going on.
Jemi–I didn’t realize you weren’t submitting! If you’re ready, I’d definitely go for it. Writing for ourselves is very satisfying, too, but it’s great to expand your audience, too.
Jan–That’s a problem I’ve faced too–I found I was really the only serious writer in the group. Age doesn’t bother me as much, unless it’s associated with a reluctance to give serious feedback. I’m *looking* for criticism (given constructively.)
Diane–That’s the danger, isn’t it? Finding a group that makes things worse. But there are many good groups out there, too.
Teresa–I should have mentioned online classes. I love those things and have taken quite a few.
Alan–Great thoughts!
I know what you mean about hit or miss critique partners. I’ve had a hard time finding a match, and haven’t looked for another one for several years now.
I love reading writing blogs. I may love it too much!
I should be in MWA! I’ve got all the information, but for some reason I’m stalling.
And you’re so right. When our time is limited, finding the right match is a real challenge.
Great minds think alike, Terry! ;)
A brainstorming group would be a lot of fun, I think. Critique groups focus mainly on revising, but a creative group would really be interesting.
I belong to two local writing groups plus a critique group. I admit I take away way more than I give, though I try to chime in when I feel like I have something to offer. I not only learn from each of these groups, but they also help me stay focused and keep me writing because I don’t want to go to a meeting and announce I’ve done nothing in the previous month.
Mostly I bounce around online and meet people and follow them back to their blogs (not in a stalkerish kind of way).
I used to belong to Southwest Writers (I’m lapsed, like you). I’m debating whether to rejoin. I didn’t get a lot out of the meetings. I’m just not that social when it comes to my writing. The online groups are a great support network. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.
Karen
It all depends on what kind of group you get involved in. If it’s a critique group, you have to participate. If it’s a writers’ organization, you can go and take notes, but before long you’ll be asked to take on some task or office.
I’ve sort of found my comfort level. I’m not in a critique group anymore, but have trusted writer friends I can turn to. I do belong to a local writers’ group, but only attend meetings when the topic interests me and I am involved in a yearly project for them. And then I have a group of very close writer friends. We get together 4 or 5 times a year and have a fabulous time and rarely discuss anything writerly.
Helen
Straight From Hel
I’m going to refer you to a post my friend Laurel made on her blog after our most recent crit group meeting. I’d just be repeating it here, so you may as well get it from the source… :)
I’d also say that as giving and incredible as the writing community is online, you’ll find many of the same qualities in your local writers (though, of course, you’ll find the occasional troll too).
This is a tough one for me. I’m pretty much a loner. Getting into groups and sharing is difficult. I tend to migrate toward a few folks I respect and watch and imitate them. I guess this means that groups have folks that I’ll find less useful. Don’t mean for that to be snotty, just honest. I’ve come to realize, however, that randomly composed groups have value. Yes, I can certainly pickup some skills and get some feedback—what I need from a group. But is it possible, I might impart some information and be of some help? Maybe. If so, that would be nice. Now, I just gotta ferret out these invisible groups and try it.
Best Regards, Galen
Imagineering Fiction Blog
I’m sort of anti-social in real life (possibly shocking, as my online persona is relatively outrageous), but I am SO MUCH more comfortable with online relationships for my writing. I feel I can be more honest with feedback (I still try to be constructive) because… people aren’t in my everyday life.
That said, I’ve MET 4 of my writer’s group members face to face, and we have WONDERFULLY close friendships–they’re my lifeline. As my identity as a writer has developed I actually feel that they know me better than most of my real life friends.
We are smallish (12 or so) and closed (planning on staying small) because there is so much trust necessary both to lay yourself out there and to SHARE.
I haven’t joined any big groups or associations… I’m on a mailing list for a couple, but the active one (Motown) doesn’s seem to be a great fit, and the Michigan one I found doesn’t seem to do much except in the Travers City area. I know there is an Ann Arbor one, but I’d have to actually drag myself out of the house to get involved… haven’t managed that in the 5 months I’ve intended to…
Yeah… just seems like I will keep to the online thing until pushed to do otherwise…
Glen–I think you’re right. Because even if you meet one like-minded and serious writer, you could arrange to meet the writer periodically at a coffee shop or something.
Jane–The accountability would be really nice. My agent is giving that to me now, but I could definitely have used someone checking up behind me a couple of years ago.
Carolina–Oh, I remember. Not too much we can do with a 3 year old around the house! I remember turning down one critique group that sounded really cool because the idea of bringing my toddler to a writing group was wayyyy too stressful for me. Definitely the beauty of online groups.
Helen–The task or office is definitely the part that concerns me. One day I’ll have more time (maybe.)
Kristen–Books are great resources. I loved “Bird by Bird.”
Simon–Thanks for the link! I appreciate that. You’re right, of course, about the people we can meet in these groups. I think I likely focus on the negative side of joining a group, instead of all the potential rewards.
Cassandra–I think you’re right and that’s a beautiful way of looking at it.
Rebecca–I’ve been where you are and not too many years ago! I’m glad the online community has developed in the last five or six years. Thanks for the link…I’ll check it out!
Galen–You and me both (loners)! I’ve always been bad in groups, but I keep hearing such wonderful things about groups that I’m worried I’m missing out.
Elspeth–I’m not sure I’d wear makeup at my in-person groups, either. :) I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t end up in charge…I’d run away!
Promptmasters–That’s a good way of looking at it…our needs may change as we do. You’re right–there are some days that I would LOVE to get away from my house! It’s an interesting topic, and thanks for pointing us to the resources you’ve mentioned.
Hart–Now you’ve surprised me again! I thought you were going to be my strong proponent of in-person writing groups (I knew your history with your online writing friends who are also in-person friends.)
It’s the EFFORT involved, really isn’t it? I do know someone who is encouraging me to join a group that she’s affiliated with…that may be the push you’re talking about.
Cassandra–I think that’s what most of us do! I know I do.
Karen–Thanks for your input! That’s kind of the way that I feel, too.
You said: My IQ jumped just from being in the same building with them.
That is so funny! Yet I can identify with it. Who we hang with certainly does make us stronger–or weaker–as the case may be.
As for as hanging around with other local writers. It does take time. I am active in a local critique group, and a writers league and SINC. The following or leading is what gets you. I’ve been presidento of our local SINC this year, and president of the writers league. Not so involved with 2010, which I’m hoping helps me get a lot more writing done. It is difficult to find enough time, yet I find so much support from these folks. Otherwise I’d never get up from my computer,
I’ve never been much of a social animal, but I have found that writing and reading groups are much more agreeable than other groups I’ve encountered. There’s something about writing that forms a real bond between people, and many of my closest friends today are those I’ve met through the Crime Writers’ Association.
Sylvia–You’re so right! I guess we should choose our company wisely.
You sound like you’ve been VERY involved in writing organizations. I can only imagine how much time it must have taken to be in leadership positions in those groups. Wow. You must organize your time really well!
Martin–I think you’re right. If I *have* to join a group, it will definitely be a writing-related club. It sounds like you’ve had a lot of success with yours, and I’m imagining that some of the writers you mention on your blog are people you’ve met through your membership.
Yes, they are, and it really has been a privilege to meet them – both the famous writers and those who deserve to be much better known.
I’d love to find a group like that here, Martin. We’re all so spread out in the States, it seems like.
I love it all. The online community is great and I’m so glad it’s here, but I wouldn’t want to give up my critique group or any of the writer organizations I belong to (SinC, MWA, Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers, and Northern Colorado Writers). And the networking and support available at writing conferences is a bonus (when I can justify the expense).
Elizabeth, I can relate completely to the start of your blog. Going into my husband’s Physics department at the university is an enlightening experience. ;-)
In fact, sometime, on one of his regular trips down to Duke University (where he collaborates several times a year) I hope to go along and look you up! Face to face. :-D
I learn from my critique group, even though most of them are sci-fi and fantasy writers, including a Benedictine monk. But as they say, good writing is good writing, regardless of the genre. I also learn from books and from on-line articles from editors and agents. Thanks, Elizabeth!