I took a quick trip to South Carolina Friday and Saturday to see my folks and talk to Mama’s book club.
On the way back home Saturday morning, I suddenly realized I needed to get gasoline…and was hungry. I pulled off the next highway exit into a small town that I’d passed on the interstate for years and never been to.
The highway sign had been misleading—yes, there was a Chick-fil-A fast food place there…three miles in. So I ended up driving through a good amount of the town’s main street.
The first thing that I noticed was the fact that I passed four payday loan businesses and a pawn shop on my three mile drive.
Once I noticed that, I also noticed vacant businesses and decrepit-looking buildings.
It all added up to a town in real economic trouble.
I think that’s the reason the phrase “A picture is worth a thousand words” was coined. If I’d stood in that town, whipped out my camera, and snapped a picture of the payday advance lender next to the pawn shop with the barred windows (and not gotten my city-slicker rear end kicked), everyone I showed it to would’ve gotten a split second impression.
I love little indicators that, like a picture, tell a lot more. That’s the show, don’t tell, doctrine. Don’t say the character is messy…have a banana peel fall out when they open their car door.
Since descriptions and I don’t get along well anyway, I keep a little notebook with scrawled quick impressions of people and places. I hope my small observations make a bigger statement about the character or setting.
How do you work on showing, not telling?
Elizabeth – I like that “show, don’t tell” axiom, too. I try to work on it, oddly enough, through dialogue (although I’m still working on that ). For instance, I don’t just say that a character dislikes another character, I make sure that conversations between them are short and clipped, icily polite, or even confrontational. I also show-don’t-tell through characters’ reactions. For instance, my protag doesn’t like paperwork. So when he’s doing paperwork, he’s more easily distracted, he gets irritated, etc.
Great question! I tend to assume the readers can see what I see, so I have to go back & add those details that show :)
I’m not sure how good I am at it, but I love showing instead of telling. This could come from my need for visual examples.
Re: your exit. I hate when the small town suffers.
Good morning, Elizabeth.
I tend to tell in the first draft (to keep my ‘flow’ going as I write), then rework the passages to show in the second draft.
It amazes me how often I tell in the first draft without realizing it – and how fun it can be to turn up the volume on a flat scene by bringing little bits of it to life.
One time I got stuck on a one-way road going the wrong way. A very seedy part of town, and naive me stopped to ask help from three seedy construction workers. Scary!!
Great post as always. :)
Corra
from the desk of a writer (I moved my blog! I’m at WordPress now.)
I love this quote:
Writing is emotionally powerful when it engages the reader. Rather than classify and list all the emotions that the character felt, use specific details that give the reader a reason to feel the emotions the characters want to express.
“Telling” communicates facts; “Showing” invites understanding
I think telling allows the reader to become part of the story because they feel they can figure out the clues or body language themselves.
Great blog.
ann
One year ago, I didn´t know what “show, don´t tell” meant, and I have struggled quite a lot to learn it.
Now I believe I know how to, but I have also come to a point where I make up my own decisions (when to tell and when not to tell), because some gurus today almost forbid you to use adjectives and adverbs, and that is just not my style.
Perhaps it works, though, because yesterday I sold a piece! – and the editor wrote, “This is one of those pieces where a lot is left up to the reader, but the clues are there.” I was quite proud of that comment.
I guess I use action and dialogue. (Like you, I’m not much into descriptions.) Converstations can reveal a lot about characters and their situations.
My usual preference is to reduce long descriptive passages–should I happen to find myself writing any–to a line or two of dialog and a bit of action instead. Often the impact will be changed if not reversed when I do, simply because I don’t want to do the same thing twice.
Marc Vun Kannon
http://www.marcvunkannon.com
When I travel and am not in a huge hurry, I love getting off at those oft passed exits to see the small towns off the beaten path.
If I’m describing something I like to include weird little quirky details that reflect something special about my scene. I also like using very subtle metaphors or similes that will help the reader indentify something more easily without being too blatant about doing so.
Lee
Show, don’t tell. We do that in improvisational comedy and I’m still trying to make it first instinct in writing as well. I always wonder if I’m throwing too much detail in there – to the point of boredom. *le sigh*
Margot–I like your idea of showing through character reactions. Great idea!
Corra–Telling definitely comes naturally to writers, I think: we’re storytellers, after all. Showing takes more work.
Yeah, getting off on the wrong exit can lead to a ‘Bonfire of the Vanities’ kind of moment.
Ann–Great point. We all like feeling smart when we’ve picked up on a clue to a character trait, etc.
Alex–It really just doesn’t do anything for me, and that’s reflected in my writing style, like yours is. I definitely will add it if asked, though.
Marc–Dialogue and action are great ways to present descriptions, definitely.
Jemi–I do that, too. I think that I’ve described all the things and it’s really still in my head.
Teresa–I hate it, too. Then all the kids move off to big cities and the towns sort of die out.
Lee–I LIVE for quirkiness! And small towns off the interstate are one of the best places to find it.
Dorte–Congratulations on your sale! That’s great news…and what a great thing to hear about the story. :)
Andy–It’s hard to say…some editors seem to like a little more description and some a little less. It might also depend on the genre–you can get away with more in literary fiction than you can in a thriller, for instance.
I love the banana peel analogy. I guess I have a REALLY messy car…all kinds of stuff falls out when they get out of the front seat, (candy wrappers, McDonald containers, etc.)
I try to write about emotions…and actions…in a lighthearted manner. My descriptions leave a lot to be desired!!!!
Lindsey Petersen
Definitely dialogue! And over time, I’ve gotten better about the ‘show don’t tell’ thing.
I like slipping my description into the action. As you say, a few telling details (like the pawn shop and payday loan business) can be as good as a photograph and a lot better than a thousand words about run down buildings, haggard winos on the street corner, and women scurrying by with a firm grip on their handbags…though any of that is better than saying “The town was in dire economic straits, so I kept driving.”
Like Corra, I do far too much telling in my first draft. I love revisions because they help me maintain the illusion that I can write :)
It’s those little details that seem “regular” that seem to paint the clearest picture. Thanks for the snapshot!
Your writing advice is based itself on ‘show don’t tell’. You always give us a bit of a story then link it to what you want us to know. It makes it vivid and fun! I can’t wait til your books arrive (though I goofily think I got them to send them both at once so I will have to wait – durn!)
Oh by the way – did you see the men’s hockey game for the gold? It was a good moment for Canucks for sure, eh? They did some solid showing there! Yeehaw!!
Diane–Dialogue is my favorite, too.
5 Kids–Me too! I think that’s why I cut the descriptions off. Better to stick with what I do best…and showing, not telling is definitely in vogue right now.
Mary–You’re so welcome! :)
Lorel–Or we COULD take that longer route sometimes…but it does seem bloated and not as much fun to read (at least for those of us who aren’t wild about descriptions and are looking for shortcuts. :) Like me!)
Jan–Thanks so much! :) And…no, I didn’t get to watch the whole thing because my son had a Scout meeting that went WAY over and then we went out for an early dinner with my husband and daughter–walked into the restaurant and everyone was cheering! For the Canadians! So it must have been exciting. :)